Beautiful People
by Sour Queen
Summary: When Sasuke returns into everyone's lives, it's Hinata's that gets hit the hardest, losing sight of what beauty really is, until Sakura gives her a journal and tells her to write about the first person she sees and why they are beautiful. Hina POV, yaoi.
1. I, Hinata

_Beautiful People_

_2,000+ word chapter_

_Pairings: NaruSasu later chap, implied SakuIno, NejiGaa, NaruHina_

_Beta: None_

_...._

The day after Naruto had finally succeeded in bringing back the stubborn raven was probably the day I started feeling worse and worse. It wasn't as if I was blaming them for what happened really, I was very glad that Naruto had finally completed what his whole life had revolved around, he looked so proud when he came trotting through the Konoha gates where everyone had gathered to see him, lopsided grin and a grumpy yet blushing Uchiha being carried bridal style in his arms.

It was an adorable sight, the two of them, because they looked like they fit together, and fit _well_ together.

And I think that was probably what hurt the most. After the cheering had died down, and everybody crowded around to see the Uchiha get punched and hugged and cried on for all he was worth, and I realized that I had been leaning against the gate, just staring out at the sun until Neji told me it was time to go home, the party was over. I actually don't remember any of that celebration past the blonde's smile…He always had a beautiful smile.

* * *

That night I had locked myself away in my room, closed all my shades off to the glare of the moon, and examined myself over and over again in my bathroom mirror.

What was it? What was so wrong with me? Where was this undoubtedly, blindingly, hideous _ugly_ that everyone could see on me?

And how come I couldn't find it?

I had to think back. Sasuke did look a lot different from the last time I must've saw him. He was tall, filled out with muscle in all the right places, sculpted body and his hair style didn't change, only looked fuller. I thought Naruto had liked long hair. I guess I was wrong. So I took out my scissors and cut it off, I cut off so much hair that night that by the next morning I don't even think _Sakura _would be able to style the mess I just put my poor hair in.

It had scattered all over my floor in shreds, dark-blue looking shreds. But they didn't shine the way Sasuke's did in that sunlight today, all sparkly and gleaming, mine just laid on the linoleum floor, gray and dull.

Nothing I do can compare to the way Sasuke does _anything._ And once I finally grasped myself around that fact, I cried my eyes out on the floor of my bathroom until I was tuckered out and could only crawl into my bed, without enough strength to pull the comforter over me.

It hurt a lot, and the only thing I could dream about was watching him and Sasuke dance across the grassy plains where they would usually train, and where I used to cower behind the nearest tree and watch them with awe. That was so long ago, almost 4 years. I always waited for the two of them to get tired enough so I could present Naruto with the homemade lunch I made for him. But they never did.

They never got fucking tired of each other.

* * *

I was wrong.

Sakura could fix _any_ hairdo.

And she did, reluctantly, but only after screaming and lecturing me on not cutting all that "beautiful, silky hair" without asking her first. It was harsh, but eventually she calmed down and asked me the real reason why I cut it off. This was one of those times I don't look back on too fondly, having to explain something so personal to your best friend.

"I…" I must've blushed because it got really hot all of a sudden, "I cut it because it wasn't shiny like Sasuke's is…"

She stared at me blankly for what seemed like a long time before she nodded and gave me a soft "oh" and then she threw an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close.

"That's not a very good reason to cut off all that beautiful hair of yours, Hina-chan."

And that's when I started to cry, really loud and childish like. The kind of cry you do when you're so glad that someone understands without telling you she understands. It was like…like, a hard cry that you get when you're just so _pissed_ at someone, at no one, at the fucking world and you want everyone to hear you. The kind where tears, snot and saliva and everything is all over your face and you can't even _begin_ to give a damn because you're so unhappy right then.

And I was. I was really unhappy.

But she let me cry there on her shoulder, and when I was done, she gave me some tissues, let me clean myself up and calm down, and then she fixed my hair into a short coif hairstyle. My hair went barely past the middle of my ears. But I liked it, it was short, and I always liked my short hair. I had only made it long because when Naruto started dating girls again they all had one thing in common long hair.

I had to admit I was initially pleased when I saw my hair in the mirror, all cut and neat, but it wasn't shining. And then I realized who I was seeing, and I frowned. I was ugly.

"What?" It was Sakura's concerned voice; she had let the mirror slide down in her slackening grip as she looked at me, but I didn't tear my eyes away from my face in the mirror.

I sighed; this was just going to get difficult again. "Do you…do you ever feel, like…you're ugly?"

She laughed at that one. "All the time. You have no idea what it's like to be the only one with pink hair for miles." I shook my head.

"No, I mean, just…ugly. Just really ugly where you can't seem to stop staring and all you wanna do is rip your face apart and tear it into a million pieces and―"

I stopped to see if Sakura was still following, and by the way her scared and worried eyes bore into mine, I could tell she wasn't. "Hina-chan, you're beautiful, how can you say stuff like that?"

I could only grip my hands tight and avoided her prying gaze, muttering softly. "I can only be ugly if he never looks at me."

This got Sakura to get suddenly really serious. She set the mirror down and got down on her knees in front of me, placing her hands on my lap gently, as if she was worshiping me. She grasped my hands tightly, and spoke slowly.

"Listen to me, I know what you mean. You think all those days Sasuke-kun was gone I didn't think about Sasuke and how ugly I must've been if he didn't even bother to ever look at me. Do you remember, I was the last person he saw before he left Konoha. He didn't spare me a _glance_ after I told him how much I loved him. I know exactly what you're talking about."

This got me to stop and wince. I must've been prying into some of her hidden emotions, talking about something so freely when I didn't even consider her feelings about my current condition. Of course she can relate, she _was_ the one in love with Sasuke all those years, and he never bothered to pay attention to her, quite like me. "And Naruto? Naruto always paid attention to you, he really liked you, and all you did was treat him like Sasuke treated you. You were never un-appealing, Sakura. Naruto loved you."

Sakura gave a bitter laugh, and shook her head and I felt bad, throwing my problems on her would only make the situation worse, and I was bringing up things I had no place to. But she continued talking anyway.

"_I _felt ugly because the one person I wanted to be beautiful for never saw me that way. It drove me nuts, when he left I…I didn't know what to do with myself, it was like someone had taken the life energy from me and crushed it in myself, because I knew that he didn't stay for me, and wasn't coming back for me. And I thought that it was because I was ugly, physically or emotionally, I had to have been ugly for him to be repulsed all this time, right?" She gave another sad chuckle, and placed her hands on mine, rubbing them gently.

"I did some horrible things then."

This caught my interest, "What? What did you do?" I started fearing the worst. What if Sakura had really lost her mind and killed someone, or stole something valuable? With all these thoughts running through my head, I didn't notice that Sakura had already stood and pulled off her shirt, exposing herself.

Then I saw it, it was faint, but still noticeable. A deep scar running half down from her shoulder to the top of her left breast, and I wondered why I never noticed it before, or maybe I had just passed it off as one of those battle scars from a previous mission. One thing was clear enough to me now.

She had cut herself.

I had snatched my hands away and placed them to my lips to stifle a loud cry, and then to my heart to slow the loud thumping in my chest. I don't remember what came first, the fact that I was so floored that _Sakura Haruno_ had cut herself, or the fact that last night I had wanted to do the very same thing, but my sadness hadn't driven me that far yet. She seemed to understand everything.

"This is what happened to me because I let one person's actions run the way I felt about myself, and I regret it everyday, because I have to live with this scar." She put her shirt back on and then pulled me out of the chair and walked me into her bedroom. I stood in the doorway while she opened up on her drawers and pulled out a journal, small, with tiny little water lilies all over it. She placed in my hands and placed a finger to my lips, silencing any of the million things I wanted to say in that moment.

Sakura gave me one of those thousand-watt smiles I'll only ever see again in my dreams. "When I was…going through my own self-discovery, someone recommended that I write in this journal what I saw ugly in myself, and then what I saw beautiful in everyone else. It helped me understand what beauty really was, and it saved me from going crazy after Sasuke-kun left."

She enclosed my hands around the journal. "I couldn't save myself from my own self-afflictions, but I will save you. Take this home and every time you start to look to closely in a mirror I want you to pull this out and write about the first person that you saw that day, and why you think they are beautiful. When you're done, I'll show you mine."

I couldn't help but start talking quickly, afraid she'll silence me again. "What do you mean? How long do I write for, and when do I know when you start writing? How do you know this can help me? What if―"

She silenced me again. "You'll know who to write about, Hina-chan."

"And how do I know when I don't have to write anymore?" I pleaded with her for more answers; this simply wasn't enough to go on!

"You'll know when the time is just right. I did." She smiled and pushed me from the doorway gently, signaling that it was time for me to go.

I opened my mouth to say one more thing. "I don't know about all this Sakura, but I trust you…uhh, thank you. I'll leave."

And without another word, I left and shut the door tightly behind me, clutching the journal in my fingers all the way until I got home, and I kept myself in my room all that night, skipping dinner.

* * *

_That's how you came to be my new journal._

_It doesn't seem fitting to call you journal all the time so I'll call you…Sakura. Seems appropriate doesn't it?_

_Anyway, it's late and I have to go to bed, I have a feeling you're going to be causing me a lot of trouble tomorrow._

_Goodnight, Sakura._

_Love, Hinata._

_

* * *

  
_

The last part was supposed to seem like she was writing in the journal, but maybe I didn't make myself clear enough with that. Anyway, this story is going to include everyone and let me just let you guys no something now, it's not an angst fiction, and after Sakura's little issue I'm not gonna mention self-mutilation for a while, because I don't feel comfortable, and I never planned to make Hinata do it, so don't worry. I'm trying a new thing because I think that too many people don't see that Hinata can be a very complicated person to write about and so many people make her shy and write her stuttering all the time, well I'm taking a stand against it and I want everyone to read this that Hinata doesn't have to be shy, she can curse, she can cry, and she can get angry. Just like Naruto, he doesn't always have to be a stupid, loud, obnoxious blonde does he? He's not going to be that here in this fic either, cuz he's going to be seme. Let's explore the possibilities here people!

Right now I'm working on another fic, so it might be awhile until I update again, but I'm looking for a BETA for this story to help me progress it, if you're interested, leave me a review and let me know. Other than that, thank you for reading and please review!


	2. My Naruto

_Beautiful People_

_Chapter 2: My Naruto_

_Beta: None at the moment. Still searching.  
_

…_._

_Dear Sakura,_

_Well, this is the second time I'm writing to you, the first day of my "recovery." I guess I started writing because I was thinking about today and I just got too caught up in my emotions because I had started to pick at my face in the mirror. It's a bad habit I really have to stop doing because I don't even have bad skin, and I've seen girls with bad skin, and I still think they are prettier than I'll ever be. Is that weird?_

_Oh yes, I'm talking about beauty today. I have to start getting serious. Now...the first person I saw today was…oh yeah, it was Naruto-k…Naruto. I had decided to go out for breakfast then attend a family brunch so I stopped at a nice restaurant and I saw Naruto come in with Sasuke. They were only about 4 tables down from me, but they didn't notice I was sitting there, and I wasn't even hiding myself. It must've been the hair…_

_

* * *

  
_

I scanned the menu over quickly; searching for a platter I could eat quickly and cost me little. "I'll just have the okayu with tamagoyaki(1), please."

"Yes, ma'am. Do you want that to include the grated daikon as a side dish?" The perky waitress scribbled incoherent words down on her pad and looked at me expectantly.

I smiled politely. "Yes, please." The waitress nodded and stepped away, returned briefly to set a steaming glass of green tea in front of me before disappearing to other tables again.

I made sure I was seated in the far back of the restaurant, away from any windows. I didn't particularly want to be seen because I didn't want to be interrupted while eating, but I won't mind if someone I know saw me either. Kiba sometimes travels here with Akamaru on their way back from training. It's how I discovered this place.

What I didn't expect was to see Naruto suddenly walk in, cheery and smiling, and I _certainly_ didn't expect to see a grumpy Uchiha tagging behind him, angst and gloom casting dark auras even I could sense, even from afar. Naruto must have a death wish.

I sipped my tea softly, wondering if I should catch Naruto's attention and wave without getting up, or what to say if he noticed me first. I decided to remain stoic and ignore them, but even if I had tried to go back to daydreaming about things I'd love to do, Naruto's voice had already overridden my mind and forced me to catch everything he said.

"Why so grumpy when I compromised with you not to have ramen for breakfast this time?" I couldn't see Naruto's face, only the back of his head, but I could imagine he was frowning because he poked Sasuke in the arm.

I _could_ see Sasuke's face though, and quite clearly because I noticed his eye twitch at the physical contact and the frown of his lips. "I never said I wanted to go out and have breakfast. I never _said_ I wanted to go anywhere."

There was a pause and I couldn't hear much more of their conversation, only watching Sasuke's lips move silently, twitching into happy, smug, and annoyed positions. I would've kept trying but my food had finally come and I forgot all about them once I started eating.

* * *

_Now Sakura,_

_I don't remember much about the part where I stopped listening and began eating. I do remember that the tamagoyaki was really good, and that the tea was delicious. I guess I stopped watching them because Sasuke was smiling a little too often for my taste, and Naruto was laughing a little too often…, and I guess I got really upset because I was ready to order a second helping if only that waitress wasn't so busy returning to Naruto's table every 2 seconds…_

_I have to thank her though. If she hadn't been so busy ignoring me this morning, I would've had to buy bigger pants._

_

* * *

  
_

"I'm getting tired of that waitress ogling you while I'm sitting right here." I perked up, and started taking smaller bites, making myself look as inconspicuous as possible, eavesdropping the way I was. That was Sasuke's voice.

Naruto shrugged. "It happens; I'm more popular than you are now."

I nodded despite myself. It was a fact that more women these days preferred Uzumaki over Uchiha, probably because not all of them realized that he wasn't going to be killed for treason like the rumor had said.

Sasuke snorted, lifting his cup to his lips. "Whoever told _you_ you were attractive is a damn liar." He sipped cautiously while the blond took the invitation to inch his chair closer to the raven.

"It's not good to call yourself a liar, teme." Naruto gave a sly smile that I could only get a glimpse of in my position, all leaned over for a peak. But it didn't matter, I knew what it looked like, the image was burned in my memory, bouncing back to my mind when I caught that flush on Sasuke's cheeks.

* * *

_This was the _worst_ case of déjà vu I have ever had the displeasure of having. _

_But his smiles wer..are beautiful, Sakura. I remember each and every one he's ever given to me. If you ever want to see beauty at its best, you should go see an Uzumaki smile. That's beautiful._

_And since when can I compare myself to a smile like that?_

_

* * *

  
_

It was a shame that I had finished my food too early. Now my choices were to get up, leave, and be seen by the two of them since I'd have to walk past them, or I could stay and watch the Uchiha blush under Naruto's suggestive smiles and touches.

Regarding my own situation, I would prefer the latter. But watching Naruto touch the bottom of Sasuke's chin gently, lifting his head and forcing him to stare back into sapphire orbs rigged with raw emotions…it stabbed at my heartstrings.

I don't have a doubt in my mind anymore that Uzumaki Naruto would now and forever be smitten with the raven before him, now blushing and shyly leaning in to take the blond's lips, untouched dishes on the table completely forgotten. They've done a good job at keeping it secret though. Well, not a _great_ job because obviously I found out, but it was a good job nonetheless.

'_Ugh, what am I still doing here?'_

I was ready to leave. I put my jacket back on and grabbed my equipment pouch, leaving enough money to pay for the meal and even left a couple of dollars for the waitress as a tip, because it must've hurt to see Naruto kiss another guy when she was trying so hard to catch his eye.

* * *

_Even if I couldn't tell you know I think the way that Naruto grinned after the kiss was over… was beautiful. Everything Naruto did was beautiful._

_He did notice me though, trying to exit as quiet as possible. He even made a big scene about it, getting out of his chair to give me a hug, leaving the blushing raven to pout by himself. I guess that Sasuke won't ever be too friendly with _me_ either huh, Sakura._

_

* * *

  
_

"Hina-chan? Hey!" Naruto crowed and scooped me up in a tight hug, and I'm ashamed to have gasped in surprise, the musky smell of Naruto overtook my senses for a moment.

'_Gosh, I remember this smell…'_

"Were you here the whole time?" He said, smiling politely.

I waved about the restaurant casually. "Oh, yeah, I was, pretty far back there. Why, did you guys just get here?" The best I could do was make casual conversation, even if the thing I wanted to do most was give him a slap for treating me like a casual friend just because Sasuke was there. Jerk.

Naruto nodded eagerly, motioning to Sasuke behind him. "Yeah, I was just treating him to some breakfast since the teme doesn't enjoy ramen as much as you do, Hina-chan."

I must've blushed again. "Yeah, that was all you, y'know. Eating ramen everyday can grow on you." I feigned a chuckle.

I could see Sasuke souring as the time passed, but I was enjoying the fact that Naruto's attention was solely on me for a moment, so I kept talking.

"The food is really good here; I come here with Kiba sometimes."

"You too? Akamaru _loves_ the pork here, and their ramen isn't that bad either. Uhh, yeah, so I noticed your hair. I really like it, it's…cute."

'_Liar. You hate short hair on a woman.'_ I thought sourly but forced a smile anyway, touching my hair gently. "Yeah, I needed a new style. Long hair got in the way of training. Sakura's been working on a project at home mostly but I can let her know if you're trying to―"

"Don't you have somewhere to be, _Hinata?_" Sasuke had bit in sharply.

* * *

_And the glare that followed it didn't intimidate me as much as I thought it would, maybe I just got over it, maybe I was just as inwardly angry, not sure. What I really wanted to do was say something both homophobic and rude. Like…like I could call him..._queer.

_Yeah, that would make him think twice before treating me badly, because I know his secret._

…_._

_Hm._

_I don't think that would be a very nice thing to do though, Sakura. Naruto would never appreciate that, since he's so nice and loving and open-minded. The total opposite of me._

_Maybe I'm ugly because I'm inwardly mean…_

...

_Do you think I'm mean, Sakura?_

_

* * *

  
_

I nodded. "Yes, I do have to go. It was nice seeing you two, Naruto." I took a few more steps, smiling back at the radiant blond who sped up my heart with his sweet eyes before giving the raven a bored look.

"Sasuke." As bored as I could muster it. I could tell he would've liked nothing else but to stick out his tongue at me or flip me the bird as I walked out the door. Only when Naruto _wasn't_ around.

* * *

_And can you believe that this all happened early in the morning Sakura? But even with telling you everything I could remember about it, I don't see how this is supposed to help me figure out why Naruto is beautiful._

_I already know he's beautiful. The way he laughs, jokes, and makes faces is beautiful. Naruto is adorable, and I don't think I'll ever stop thinking of him this way. It hurts to talk about him, but I have to keep going. Let's see… his smile is beautiful, his eyes are beautiful…the way he treated me nicely was beautiful, even though Sasuke regarded me poorly, and for whatever reason that could be. _

_He still was polite, and nice, and gentle. He's probably that way with everyone (Sasuke) but it still made me feel nice. I…I don't know Sakura. Is that beautiful? Does the way Naruto can make a person feel good about them beautiful?_

_Is that what you call inner beauty?_

_Do I even _have_ that?_

_I wish you could answer me Sakura. I wish the real Sakura was here, she's been ignoring me, on purpose probably because I have too many questions. Like HOW is this supposed to help me!?_

_I already know that Naruto is everything I couldn't be! I know that for a long time I tried to be like him! But I can't!_

_I can't be like him. I can't be perfect in an imperfect world._

_I can't be beautiful._

_I...I don't want to write anymore. It's late, I'm going to bed._

_Goodnight, Sakura._

_

* * *

  
_

And goodnight to you, my readers. I hope that I didn't build up too much in the first chapter just to have a let down for the second, but if you don't understand what I was trying to aim at in this chapter, then I…_could _explain it, but maybe that would be giving it away? And I see that a lot of people looked at this, and I'm eternally grateful to anyone who would try to read this, but it would also help if you reviewed and let me know you got what I was trying to say. I'm out on a limb here, haha. Partially because I need a BETA. o_o

Okay, I'm done now.

(1) Okayu is rice porridge. Common and plain for people to eat at breakfast in Japan. Tamagoyaki is a type of omelet with different things inside.

Review please~

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	3. His Sasuke

_Beautiful People_

_Chapter 3: His Sasuke_

_Beta: Still searching._

….

_Dear Sakura,_

_I'm pretty pissed right now. Yesterday after I finished talking to you I almost cried myself to sleep because I was confused. Is this good? Is this a good feeling? Should I be satisfied by the fact that something is happening? Or should I be scared? I'm crying, but I don't feel beautiful. In fact, every morning I wake up, I look worse and worse, and it's driving me crazy. I only go outside in the evenings now, and I've stopped taking missions. I know its bothering Sakura and Ino, but I can't help it, I'm not ready. I can't do anything. Just like the way everyone sees me. But today was even worse, and I'll tell you why in two words: Uchiha. Sasuke._

_So here I was this evening, only hours ago, and I was by the training area, sitting out on the grass, thinking about…everything. Nothing. I can't remember all those details, but I know that I was out there pretty late because the sun was near setting when I saw Sasuke strolling by over the bridge, watching the sunset the way I was. And then I thought, 'why is he out here all by himself when he has Naruto?' Selfish to say that? Maybe. I'm starting to realize I'm more spiteful than people give me credit for…_

_But anyway, so I just enjoying the sweet breeze, trying to ignore my thoughts for a little bit of sanity when he looks at me. He already knew I was here before I did. So what's the best reaction to a situation like this? Run._

_And run I did._

_

* * *

  
_

My feet were pounding against the grassy plains as I struggled myself up the steep hill, where solid ground awaited me. I figured that if I could reach the main street and kept running, Sasuke would have to give up sometimes because people would stare. I thought I could get away.

But I was wrong.

"Where do you think you're running off to?" He sneered from behind me and yanked on my wrist, flinging me around to face him. He looked angry, but I didn't care, all I wanted was to go home. I didn't want to face him.

"I didn't get a chance to really talk to you yesterday," he drawls on, ignoring my piercing glares as he talks about our breakfast incident. "Naruto always gets really happy whenever he sees you for some reason."

I paused, and my anger dissipated. "He…he does?"

Sasuke shrugged and released my wrist, watching me rub it sorely in pain. "He talks about you all the time…" There was something faraway in Sasuke's eyes, like he was reminiscing on something as we spoke. It gave me a chance to actually look at Sasuke. He really was beautiful. Onyx eyes, pale skin, and inky black hair. A plump round face, no blemishes, and no marks. Perfection.

_Perfection._

"There's something going on between you two."

"Huh?" It was one of those responses where you hear someone very well, you just don't know how to answer, but you feel like you have to say _something_.

"There's something going on between you two." He repeats slowly, like I'm being an idiot, and it peeves me off.

'_There was,'_ I thought dimly. Sasuke sneers at me, as if I were hiding something from him. It's a shame all the beauty was contradicting itself with all that anger on his face.

* * *

_I understand now Sakura that Sasuke was only distrusting of me because of his relationship between him and Naruto._

_And he has every right to be._

_And while it did thrill me that I was actually a threat to Sasuke, it made me scared that I was all alone with someone who hates my guts in a setting sun on an empty training field. I was scared._

_Not because of what could have happened, but more about what had already happened, between Naruto and I._

_

* * *

  
_

"Tell me what's been going on between you two; you're hiding something from me, aren't you?" It wasn't a question. He had already restrained both my hands should I decide to run away again, and it was clear he wasn't going to let me leave until I gave him a sufficient enough answer.

I blinked slowly. "There's nothing going on. And even if there was, why wouldn't you just ask Naruto yourself?"

He growled at me, shaking my hands along as he ranted and raved. "That's none of your business why, just answer the question! I know you have been lying to me, acting all innocent when all you've been planning to do is steal him away right? Right!?"

My eyes started to water. He was scaring me. "No…no, that's not…"

"Yes it is! You're just jealous! You've always been jealous that you can't be me and its killing you isn't it? You're just some lonely, _pathetic_ girl who can't get over some stupid crush! Why can't you get it through your head that no one wants you, _especially_ not Naruto. And why would he? You're lanky, shy, and stupid, with an ugly haircut to boot. You jealous bitch." He finished with a shove, and I plopped right onto the ground hard, my butt was already beginning to ache. I didn't reply yet, only brought my limbs closer to me and started sniffling. The sun was dimming now, and I couldn't see his face anymore.

He snorted and looked down on me as if I were trash. "You can't even say anything? You're just going to cry?"

"N-no…" My voice was cracking, I was betraying myself. I felt foolish. He was probably right; I was in the way of their relationship and probably causing Sasuke a lot of misguided pain. Naruto didn't want to talk about me because I was ugly, wasn't it? Too ugly and too much of a burden to be brought up as someone Naruto at one point thought was very important. I couldn't hold that title anymore, as bad as I wanted to.

* * *

_I thought about Sakura then. The real Sakura. I wonder if she felt just like I did, real stupid and pathetic for trying to get in the way of something that was bound to happen, because of foolish feelings and emotions. _

_The truth is, I'm not his anymore. As much as I would like to believe in my wildest imagination, I'm not. I'm not his._

_Sasuke is._

_And nothing going to change it, no matter how beautiful I try to become, or how ugly I try to make Sasuke seem, it's not changing._

_Oh…Sakura, it hurts. It hurts real bad._

_

* * *

  
_

Sasuke stopped talking, he shoved his hands in his pockets and turned his back to me, walking away calmly and swiftly, trying to get as far away from me as possible. My cheeks were wet; I was already crying despite that I tried so hard not to. My feelings were hurt. I was hurt and confused. How could somebody who looked so nice and beautiful, be so mean and unkind? How can Naruto have fallen in love with that? Did he only love what Sasuke looked like?

Just how deep can beauty go for a person? For Naruto?

And why is it that even though I'm on the other end, lying star-struck in a field of grass, crying my eyes out, that I'm still alone?

If beauty's only skin deep, does mine stop here?

"You're not beautiful!" I cried out at his retreating figure. "There is _nothing _beautiful about you!"

* * *

_And then I went home. I cried before I started writing to you, and now I'm crying again. It hurts really bad, being in second place compared to that. _

_If I could decide, I would say that Sasuke was the ugly one. Not me._

_But Sasuke has Naruto. So how ugly can he really be?_

_And how destroyed is my concept of beauty if I can sit here and think that I'm the most beautiful person I've met, and still be alone? Why am I still alone?_

_It's because I'm not beautiful. Not inwardly, and certainly not outwardly._

_I'm not beautiful at all. I'm not beautiful because I'm alone. And you're only as beautiful as people see you._

_And who will see me if I'm all alone?_

_Hinata_

_

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_

I'm not going to say much just that this chapter was actually +2500 words but I cut a lot out so I wouldn't overwhelm you with too many of Hinata's rhetorical questions. It gives you a lot to think about huh? Any questions, comments, or thoughts, please review.

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	4. Their Sakura

_Beautiful People_

_Chapter 4: Their Sakura_

_Beta: strawberries and napkins_

….

I got a call from Sakura today. No, not really a call, more her demanding I come and visit her today or else she would drag me there herself. Not that I really complained though. After yesterday, I think talking to Sakura might do me some good; any other person and I might have a serious problem on my hands. So when Neji told me that Sakura wanted me to come over, I got out of bed, and took a long time getting ready.

I was still thinking about yesterday, and if I could make sense of it all.

Was I really the reason Sasuke was having so many issues with his relationship? Was I the reason that their relationship was getting worse?And why wouldn't Naruto tell Sasuke about me? About…us, if you can call it that. I don't; doesn't Naruto see what he was doing to Sasuke? Or was Sasuke hiding it and taking it out on me deliberately?

But what have I done against him! I'm not in his way anymore, they both made sure of that…so why...why am I being tormented still?

And then I couldn't help but wonder then, if Naruto was truly too embarrassed to mention anything about me, or about our relationship, because he was embarrassed or mortified of me. I'm almost sure it was clear to everyone that Naruto and I held romantic feelings for each other…but does he notice that maybe…maybe I still had them?

Was he afraid to approach me now? Am I truly that distressing that I can't be a part of his past?

There were so many questions that I wanted to ask or even say out loud, maybe I'd write them in the journal, but by the time I snapped from my stupor, I had already washed, dressed, and was ready to leave. I looked back over my bed. The journal was still sitting there, and it looked lonely, yet passive, and I couldn't help but think about the anguished words that were inside of it, and maybe inside of me.

I bit my lip and walked back over,picking it up, and ranmy hand down the side of its smooth fibrous front. It held an old paper-like smell, but the pages were bright and pearly. The journal's black ribbon pagemark hung out the bottom of it. It truly was a simplistic and plain journal. A journal that I forgot belonged to me. So I hugged it close to my chest, and walked right out of my room.

It didn't take me long to stroll my way over to Sakura's home, and thank goodness no one I knew was out in the streets so late in the afternoon like I was. I knocked on the door a couple of times but since her parents didn't seem to be home I let myself of the things most important to me is the keys to Sakura's house. There's a really good story as to how I acquired them, but I don't feel like reminiscing now.

I closed the door quietly behind me. The house looked the same; although most homes had contemporary Japanese furniture here, her mother opted for a more western look. I had almost forgotten about the huge mirrors her mother hung up on the walls. I turned and looked at one. My eyes were slightly bloodshot, and my lips were chapped. I haven't been taking care of my hair again, and it lost the smooth sheen it used to have. I ran my hand through it, and then sighed.

_Talking about my appearance wouldn't make me feel any better,_ I thought, and walked away. I placed my journal on the living room café table, when I heard Sakura from upstairs.

"Hina-chan? Hina-chan is that you?" she called downstairs. Her voice was crackled, and dry sounding, as if she had just woken up.

I couldn't help but smile to myself; she probably was still in bed. "Yes, Sakura, I'm coming upstairs now." I took off my shoes and placed them near the door, and then tiptoed my way up the stairs and into her room. The door was creaked open but the room was still fairly dark, although I could still make out her tangled limbed figure in the king sized bed.

She rolled over and gave me a lopsided smile; even with tousled hair she still looked happy and pretty. I smiled back. I was right about the sleeping part. "Hina-chan, how are you?"

I paused shortly before answering. "Fine." _What a safe answer, _I chided myself.

She scrunched her eyebrows together like she was going to say something about it, but I cut her off before she could.

"What is this, Sakura? You wake me up and tell me to get dressed and come over, so I could watch you sleep?" I put a hand on my hip and pretended to be perturbed. She giggled and stuck out her tongue.

"I can't sleep without you watching me." She smiled and patted the seat beside her. "Now, come here and lay with me so we can talk."

I frowned. "My clothes will get wrinkled, and besides I'm not tired." She shrugged her shoulders and patted the bed again.

"Who cares? Those aren't valid reasons, now get over here." I sighed and trudged over to the bed, being careful to slide under the heavy comforter where Sakura wrapped her arms my shoulders and I became enveloped in her body heat.

"You're warm**,**" I murmured and shifted to get comfortable in the bed. She nodded and rested her head against my chest and her pink strands of hair tickled my lips and cheeks as I lay down on her pillows.

"And you're comfy."

I grunted in response. We sat there in silence together, drowned in the dim darkness. I listened to her soft and balanced breathing and wondered if she had fallen asleep against me, but then she started talking again.

"I heard about what happened between you and Sasuke-kun." My eyes widened and I tried to sit up in the bed, but Sakura tightened her arms around my frame, as if she already knew I was going to move.

I narrowed my eyes. "Who told you?"

"Word travels fast when it's about Sasuke."

I couldn't argue with that. "Well…? Are you going to chastise me about it or something?"

Her tiny head shook feverishly. "Oh gods, no. What could I possibly reprimand you about? You haven't done anything wrong, and you should know that."

"Hm," I murmured back, sentences completely forgone with me. She kept talking.

"You know**.**" She drummed her fingers on my stomach. "He isn't usually like this. He's confused."

I didn't say anything and waited for her to continue.

"He's jealous of you, and worried about Naruto."

I snorted softly; the image of a jealous Sasuke was both sarcastically funny, but also confusing. "He has no reason to be jealous of me."

"Doesn't he?" Sakura echoed out softly. "He doesn't know about Naruto's past since he left. No one will tell him much about it, including Naruto. The only person he knows had hooked up with Naruto while he was gone is you, so he's blaming you. But he doesn't know that it's over twenty other girls too. He's confused about this, it's not your fault, and he's just undereducated about his own situation." She spoke softly and I stared at the wall opposite of us blankly, taking in her words.

She had a reason, and it was most likely valid. But it didn't take away the pain of _my _situation. I was still under investigation by Sasuke, and paying for it dearly. And no one was going to tell him about Naruto, because no one wants to see him leave again. In all truth, neither did I. But not for the same reason, Naruto isn't the same when Sasuke's not around. Even when he was with me.

I lowered my eyes and tapped my fingers back against the arm wrapped around my torso. "I suppose," I heaved loudly. "I just want them to be happy."

"I want you to be happy."

"So do I." I feigned a laugh Sakura didn't return. "Why can't I have both?"

She shrugged and snuggled closer to me. I was starting to get warm so I tried to move but she threw her leg over top me, preventing my movement once more, but I didn't complain. She already knew what I was doing. I was trying to avoid talking about it.

"Sometimes life just doesn't yield to its subjects their desires, that doesn't mean it's your fault**,**"she reasoned.

This time I did chuckle for real. "You sound like a poetry book. But that's not what I mean. You know, Naruto didn't tell Sasuke about me."

Her eyebrow went up. "Really?"

I nodded. "Yes, someone else told Sasuke about me, but it wasn't Naruto. Naruto doesn't tell anyone about me. I just can't help thinking…thinking that maybe because he's...ashamed of me…that…" I trailed off and shut my eyes, waving back the tears that threatened to pool in my eyes. Sakura sighed and squeezed my body in a loving gesture.

"He's not ashamed of you. He's afraid of admit to himself, that's his problem. Not yours. You're a lovely and beautiful girl; you don't need Naruto to prove it."

_But I feel like I do, I_ couldn't help but thinking because…even as Sakura said these kind and sweet words to me, I didn't believe them. If Naruto was unashamed of our relationship, wouldn't he have told people? Usually when people hide things it's because of their embarrassed or ashamed or it just doesn't appeal to them to talk about it. Is that it? Am I unappealing?

"There it is again, it's always come back to me being unappealing again. Why am I so…so…so ugly?" I whispered so harshly that Sakura flinched beneath me, and then began drawing soothing circles across my belly, creasing wrinkles in my shirt again to calm me down. She sighed. "You're not ugly, Hinata. But then again, only you can be the judge of that. Naruto can't judge whether you are 'pleasing' enough to talk about, or mention. If you yourself don't find you pleasing, or maybe appealing, how can you expect anyone else to?" Sakura spoke softly.

I wanted to fight against it, but in truth, it made complete sense. But it didn't satisfy me, because I knew that even if I carried myself with more self-worth, nothing would change. Sasuke would continue to blame me for all of his relationship tribulations, and Naruto wouldn't utter my name unless forced. Beautiful or not, it doesn't change reality. I knew that…and yet…

"Being beautiful doesn't rely on my opinion only. It's what others can see in you." I closed my eyes again; the room was starting to spin.

"You're wrong." Sakura whispered so softly I had to then strain to hear it, "Beauty belongs to the person who claims it."

"Who will claim me?"

"I will."

"You can't claim me, you belong to them."

"Them?"

"Naruto…and Sasuke. You already know them, are close to them. You belong to them, and they have claimed you. Even Ino has claimed you. You know you're beautiful. But me…I don't have anyone. No one will want to claim me now…"

Then she didn't say anything, and we laid there in silence until I started crying again. I cried my way to sleep in Sakura's arms.

* * *

When I woke up, I found myself sprawled out across the bed, and covered in a light sweat. I sat up, and saw that Sakura's space was empty. I was about to get out of bed when the door clicked open again and Sakura peered through with a tray of lunch.

"Oh, hey sleepyhead**.**" She giggled and I relaxed back into the bed, propping myself up on a pillow as she placed the food tray on my lap. It was homemade ramen, and not an easy feat.

She walked around the bed and got back in on her side, and watched me, but I didn't start eating right away; I was trying to think of something to say.

She noticed soon. "What is it?"

I stuttered. "N-Nothing, I was just wondering why you h-haven't brought food for yourself." She waved me off. "I already ate, while you slept." She smiled at me softly, and I started blushing, and maybe even pouted a little.

"You could've woken me up."

"I could've."

"Jeez," I sighed and giggled to myself and opened the chopsticks. "Itadakismasu."

Then I started eating; it was spicy, and really tasty. I had almost forgotten that Sakura was a good cook unlike myself. I was halfway finished the bowl once Sakura had stopped staring at me and decided to start another conversation.

"So," she said, averting her eyes for a moment before locking into mine again, "I saw your journal downstairs."

I lowered my chopsticks. "You didn't…read it, did you?" My heart stopped for a moment and I swear I couldn't breathe again until I saw her head shake negatively.

"Of course not, I won't read it until you're ready for me to read it. I told you that."

At this I nodded, I do remember what she said, and with that reassurance I finished my meal quickly. She took the tray downstairs and when she returned she had my journal in hand. She tossed it on my lap.

My face scrunched up in confusion. "Why'd you bring it up here?"

She shrugged, as if the answer were obvious. "Write."

At this point, I was really confused. Did she expect me to write in the journal with her beside me? I thought the journal was a personal thing, now I don't understand her motives…what is Sakura trying to get at?

When I told her what I was thinking, she just smiled and crawled back under the sheets, resting her head on my stomach.

"Do you remember what we talked about earlier?"

"Mm-hm." I was still confused.

She hesitated for a moment, "I was thinking that could help you, you know, to make a good entry. I promise I won't look over anything, I'll turn over. You can just tell me when you're finished."

I didn't say anything. The journal was beginning to feel heavy as I picked it up and scanned it over. It was still so simplistic, yet it meant everything to me in that one moment. I wasn't sure if I could really feel comfortable writing like this, but something about Sakura being beside me calmed my nerves, and before I knew it, she had rolled over and was laying beside me quietly, and I was writing away.

_Dear Sakura,_

_My hands are shaking. Right now, I'm at Sakura's house in her bed. I haven't moved at all today, I feel quite lazy. She's beside me, and she told me to write. This feels weird some, but I kind of like it. Usually when I'm writing I get upset, and maybe I am a little upset. I'm comfortable though, and that's what matters._

_I like being comfortable; I wish I could be that way all the time._

_The first person I'm thinking of right now is Sakura. If I could describe her, I would say she was beautiful. In complete essence, her spirit, her soul, her hard work, her dedication, her compassion, her love. It's all so beautiful, and it's beautiful to see inside of a person. I don't think I could compare myself to that, no, not just yet. Perhaps when...when someday I'm not so depressed and sad. But that's like saying Sasuke will one day come to friendlier terms with me._

_Please note my sarcasm, Sakura._

_But I can't get rolled up into that. What Sasuke did was…hurtful, and mean, and I understand that his beauty isn't on the inside like Sakura's is. His is purely on the outside. At least it is to me. But I know why he did it. He did it because I was a threat, and in some ways, I suppose I still am, even if I don't feel like it. Sakura helped me realize that, I had to think about it again, and it makes sense._

_If I was Sasuke, I'd be angry with the person who was in the way of Naruto-kun and I. I would've done anything. I actually _have_ done anything. But that's a different story. But I would've done it in justice, in justification…maybe. I wouldn't tackle a person, that's what I mean. And it's partially why I don't understand why Naruto chose him…or why he still refuses to talk about me…_

_Ah, there I go again. I can't stay off the topic! It's always on my mind. Deep in the back of it though. There are more important things, like how tonight I won't have to sleep by myself. Or think about the inevitable._

_Sakura tells me that beauty belongs to the one who claims it._

_I can't claim her. Naruto has. Sasuke has. They are her friends, they have something Sakura and I don't. The relationship is different, I can't claim a soul comparing to that._

_But I don't have to worry about claiming anyone as beautiful._

_I'm already with someone beautiful. Hopefully her beauty will rub off on me, and someone will claim me too._

_Hinata_

I snapped the book shut and tucked it away under my pillow as quietly as I could, but by Sakura's head flinching I could tell she noticed anyway.

"Hina-chan? Are you finished?" Sakura's voice was muffled beneath her pillow.

I nodded even though she couldn't see me and tucked the journal away under the pillow, lifting up the comforter. My clothes were wrinkled, and clung to my skin uncomfortably, but it didn't matter. I was tired, and I was vaguely happy. There were no mirrors in this room to waver me this time.

I slid back underneath the sheets, clicked off the bedside lamps Sakura had on, and snuggled in deeper into the bed heated with out bodies. "You sure Ino-chan won't mind me sleeping in her spot?" I giggled.

Sakura laughed and turned over, snuggling back into my torso, wrapping her arms around me in a caring gesture, which I returned.

"I think this one time she'll let it slide."

I nodded again, and things got quiet. My eyelids lowered, and my heartbeat slowed.

"Hina-chan?"

"Hm?" I was almost detached from reality that I almost didn't catch what she said, but when I heard it echo through my ears, I felt so happy, and yet so empty at the same time…

"You are beautiful Hina-chan, you've always been beautiful…"

* * *

Okay, so, I had my beta go over this with me, I made a bunch of mistakes so I thank thank thank her for fixing this over for me.

I just wanted to make it clear for everyone, everything I mention about Ino was a hint of an SakuxIno relationship. Why did I make Sakura a lesbian you ask?

Well what was I supposed to do, pair her up with Lee or something? Forget **that**. But I'll explain why in later chapters, and don't worry, this isn't a yuri fiction, and in no way and I going to make Hinata a lesbian either, so don't even worry about asking that.

SO. As an apology for all the angst, I give you some HinaxSaku friendship time. I think Hinata needs it, because after all that's happened to her, she needs someone to fall back on when things get rough, I couldn't have her going through this by herself. It wouldn't be right you know? Everyone needs a friend, after all. Look at me rambling about nothing..

But this doesn't mean that Hinata's problems are over, they are very far from, actually. Read and find out.


	5. And Her Ino

_Beautiful People_

_Chapter 5: Her Ino_

_Beta: beta'd by strawberries and napkins_

….

It was the sunlight that woke me up. I lifted my head gently, but a heavy breathing object stopped me. Sakura's head had fallen from my shoulder down to my belly, effectively preventing me from leaving the room like I had originally planned. I was careful to wake her; she looked so peaceful and pretty, all that rosette pink hair matching the color of her sheets.

I shook her as gently as I could and whispered, "Sakura, wake up. Sakura."

I waited patiently until her nose twitched and her eyes peeked themselves open to me. A slow smile graced her sleepy-looking face.

"Good morning, Hina-chan."

Almost too tempting to reply, but her face was too close to mine, and I was wary of my morning breath, so I nodded instead. She had already understood my lack of vocal greetings and moved off my body, stretching in the bed, and giving me a peck on the cheek. It isn't the first time Sakura had shown affection closely like this, but she's my best friend, and it doesn't faze me anymore. So I didn't say anything.

She yawned. "I'm skipping breakfast since I ate a lot last night. You might want to make yourself presentable." Then I watched her hop of the bed, straighten her sleepwear and then move to the task of rearranging her side of the bed. I tossed the comforter off me and winced. She was right; my clothes were rumpled, wrinkled, and completely ruined. But as I too yanked myself out of the warm bed and into the cool room, her words provoked a question in me.

"Why do I need to make myself presentable?" She raised an eyebrow and looked me up and down in response so I added onto my question, "I mean, besides the obvious reason."

She hummed for a moment and straightened the pillows together before she answered me. "Ino's visiting today."

That caught me off guard. "Ino's coming? Why didn't you tell me?" She shrugged and walked over to my side of the bed to tidy it as I was too confused to finish what I was doing. I don't want to make it seem like I don't like Ino, I do like Ino, and she's one of my closest friends. It's just…she always acts weird when she finds me and Sakura in her house alone together ever since they started dating. And the whole key incident didn't help the situation, but I really don't want to recall it now, maybe I will later in the journal tonight.

"You know where your stuff is, right? Extra clothes and everything?"

I nodded. Sakura and I shared everything. We always had extras of things at each other's house in case of a situation like this, much to Ino's chagrin. Sometimes I imagine that Ino would be responsible if Sakura and I ever drifted apart, much like Sasuke in the way of Naruto and I. Or maybe, I'm getting my issues backwards.

My mind snapped back to reality. The bed was made, and Sakura bent over, putting on some socks. I made my move then and started for the washroom. She called after me.

"Don't be frightened by Ino, Hina-chan. She loves you, and so do I."

I didn't respond, only closed the door behind me. As much as it would've brought me surprising pleasure just to hear someone say that to me, right now, it wasn't enough to raise my spirits. Maybe it was because it wasn't completely true, or maybe because it wasn't the person I wanted to say it to me…

_No._ I shook my head. _Now isn't the time._

_

* * *

  
_

I showered, dried, cleaned, dressed and now I was sitting on Sakura's couch, fiddling with a cup of hot tea while Sakura and Ino chatted with their tea cups and candies. They looked so comfortable with each other that it was hard to believe that they were together. I remember that when I first found out, I had been happy. Sakura had seemed pretty down and out about Sasuke leaving and not even Naruto's constant love and protection could bring her out of her slump.

I had failed her as a friend then too, I didn't know how to deal with emotionally sick people, much less my best friend. But where I lacked, Ino came in and protected her, and before we all knew it, they had fallen in love. I remember how supportive everyone was, especially Naruto, but during that time he was more withdrawn from us, well, from me, mostly. And I was with him then.

_Ow._ I squeezed the warm cup between my hands._ Just thinking about makes me nervous and jumpy, and now my heart can't stop racing_…

That mean it's time to start paying attention again, I leaned back in the chair and faced the two of them. Ino was talking.

"Oh and Saku-chan, you would not believe who I saw today," she smiled mischievously and sipped her cup.

"Who?"

"Naruto was at the shop today." I almost choked on a drink I hadn't even sipped yet. His name is like a poison to me. I looked at Ino; she was looking at me, waiting for me to respond.

So I swallowed my stutter and followed up on the conversation. "So he was at the flower shop picking up some flowers for Sasuke? That's nice."

"Nope, that's not it at all."

Sakura shook her head. "What do you mean, 'that's not it at all'? Why else would he be at the flower shop, to talk to you or something?" Sakura snorted and even I had to laugh at that one. You see, about a week before Sasuke suddenly showed up, Naruto and Ino got into this heated argument over Sakura's well-being again and they haven't spoken since. It's obvious that Naruto and Ino love each other and are very close, but when you have two blonds in an argumentwith each other, well, it's hard to convince either one to think clearly.

Ino scowled and popped a piece of Sakura's chocolate in her mouth, chewed and then swallowed before she continued. "He was meeting someone."

This caught my attention, and I sat up quickly. "Who was he meeting?"

She smirked at me. "You should know already." I sank back into my seat, suddenly feeling uncomfortable with how much Ino knew about me. I didn't say anything in return, so Sakura tried to defend me, but I could already tell there wasn't much to be said in return. So I just changed the subject.

"How long?"

"An hour."

"Out front?"

"Out in the back, by the greenhouse. You know the usual spot." Ino made an irritating face that made my emotions swell up with some resentment.

I didn't respond immediately, and thought over my options of rebuttal as I pretend to be completely occupied with my drink. Sakura frowned at was doing this to me on purpose, because Ino knew more about me than Sakura did, and it hasn't been the first time she's leaked information to get back at me. And maybe I should mention this now; Naruto isn't the only person Ino has fought about Sakura's well-being…

What I couldn't figure out was why she was doing this. To make me uncomfortable? Well, it was already working, and I don't even think she'd gotten started yet.

She gave me a fake smile and threw her arm over my shoulder, and then the other one over Sakura, bringing the both of us closer to her. Sakura and I were able to carefully place our glasses away to keep them out of the way. I noticed she smelled almost too heavily of jasmine and roses, it was like she dived into a bed of flowers.

"I'm glad you two are here," she said slowly, "because I heard about what Sasuke did. He's a real dick; I hope you two know that. If I ever see that bastard, I'd kick his ass for you."

I almost laughed. As if I didn't know already that Ino was on Sasuke's side because she hated Naruto and wasn't too fond of me. But it didn't stop Sakura from buying into it.

The pinkette hugged her girlfriend tightly and pecked her cheek. "I know you would, Ino-chan, we both would, because we love Hina-chan a lot."

Ino smiled slowly, facing the ceiling, but I didn't miss the devious glint of her eyes. "Of course we do, Saku-chan…"

That was enough for me. There was so much sarcasm in that sentence that I was even surprised a love-stricken Sakura didn't pick it up. But then again, she was always would never bother me.

What does bother me, however, is Ino's closeness. I slipped from under her arm, and stood up, brushing my clothes of invisible lint as I stood there facing the two of them, trying to think of a polite way to get out of this conversation, and hopefully, out of the house.

_I think I've had enough embarrassment for one day, _my mind supplied for me.

"Thank you Ino, I appreciate that."

"Do you?" She took her arm away from Sakura and leaned forward in her seat. The cups of tea we had placed away were probably already getting cold, and not from the increasingly chilling vibes she was giving me.

I opened my mouth to speak**, **but she cut me off.

"Of course, it'll be hell of a lot harder to defend you if I didn't really know what happened…" Her eyes grew steely and bore into mine as if she was digging for an answer I could not give her.

Sakura was as stunned as I was, maybe even more so. She hit Ino on the arm, mouth agape. "Don't say things like that! You and I both know that Sasuke's a dick who can't control himself."

"No," Ino sighed and finally took her eyes off me when I didn't answer in time, she laid back. "He can't control Naruto."

Then I felt something get stuck in my throat, and not because his name was uttered. Ino was playing on a dangerous line between unraveling everything and keeping it safe, and she was doing it on purpose.

And so I tried to be quick in changing the subject, but Ino had sparked and interest in Sakura, and she beat me to the response. "What do you mean he can't control Naruto?"

Ino rubbed her face in false thinking. She was toying with me, and it was working. My hands were starting to sweat and I felt itchy all over, with just me standing there awkwardly, as my life was put on display. I felt so ashamed.

"We both know that Sasuke's a control freak and likes to be in the know right?"

Sakura nodded.

"Imagine a mission where Sasuke had absolutely no control over what was happening and he couldn't make a move without it being directly ordered for him to do. Seems like something a little difficult right?"

Ino barely spared me a glance as she talked to Sakura as if I were no longer standing there, not even Sakura bothered looking away, it must've been too interesting for her. "I understand that Ino, but what does that have to do with this situation?"

This time Ino cracked a slow smile and spoke loudly, taunting me with every word dripping with her own poisonous venom, and I couldn't do a thing. "That's the situation he's in now. Naruto's hiding something, and he won't budge, disabling Sasuke from making a move forward in their relationship, and Sasuke has no control over what may or may not happen, because he doesn't really _know _about the situation. Now picture there was someone else who knew about it, but chose to ignore it altogether…"

Her eyes gazed over to me softly with a deep gaze, and then Sakura looked at me too, albeit more confused. "I dunno. Who do you think would know something and not tell anyone, _Hina-chan?"_

That was enough for me, I was out of here, and I made a hurried excuse as I grabbed the pair of Sakura's keys on the table, and my jacket on the dining room chair.

"Not sure. Anyway, Sakura, I have to go, Neji is probably very worried and I have some chores to take care of." I didn't bother to look up from the ground as I spoke, but I could tell Sakura's face was probably scrunched up in confusion again.

"Oh…alright." She stood and brushed herself off. "Let me go grab something really quick. Stay here."

I started to protest but Sakura bolted up the stairs, taking three at a time. There I was left with Ino, who was smirking so hard her lips were beginning to rise up and disappear. The stare was unnerving, but I refused to speak as I stepped into my shoes and prepared to leave.

She started speaking again. "I hope you'll think about what I said; you can't just go around blaming things on other people, like you aren't at fault."

"I haven't done any of that," I mumbled, but inside I was getting angry. Just who does she think she is to be chastising me on a relationship I no longer have with either Naruto or Sasuke? What does she know about them, about _me,_ more than I do!?

She stood and began to move over where I stood, and got up right close to my face, so close I could feel her breath tickle at my skin. "What do you want from me?" I managed to force out.

Ino's wide smirk settled back into a deep frown, and she spoke with a whisper so Sakura wouldn't be able to hear. "I want you to stay away from Naruto. You're the one that's keeping Naruto from living out his life with Sasuke; you're still in the way. So get out of it. And I believehim, you _are _always in the way. I mean, look at you. You're here now aren't you? This is _my _girlfriend's house and yet you come here more often than I do. You think Sakura wants to hear about every little problem you have? Well she doesn't, and maybe she's just being nice, but I'm not going to be. Not anymore."

If I said I was surprised by this, I'd be lying, so my face betrayed no emotion. I always knew Ino had contempt for me somewhere in her heart, and this is when she finally decided to act on it, except she wasn't just talking about herself anymore. She was defending Sasuke and in a way, I think, defending Naruto…?

"I have _never _interfered with Naruto and Sasuke's relationship." I bit out, and felt the anger boil in my chest, but at the same time I felt like crying. Why was Ino doing this to me? Why was I being blamed again?

Or was I doing something I just couldn't see as an issue?

She opened her mouth for a probably vicious rebuttal, but then footsteps could be heard and Ino backed away from me almost as quickly as she came and tried to greet Sakura at the stairs with a kiss but Sakura purposely moved out the way of Ino's lips, leaving a confused blonde. Sakura walked towards me, with something dark in her hands. My journal.

"Ah…I guess I almost forgot it." I took it from her open palms. "Thanks, Sakura."

She giggled and scratched the back of her head. "Sorry it took me awhile. I forgot where you might've put it last night."

Ino chose to cut in. "What did you just say that was?"

Sakura spun on the girl, hands on her hips. "A journal, Ino-chan. This is Hinata's journal." The slowly slipping smile from the blonde's face made me almost as happy as knowing that Sakura wasn't _completely _oblivious to what Ino was doing. She smiled.

"A j-journal?" Ino was stuttering.

"It's just like you said, right Ino? Beauty is all about the actions, not the thoughts that define a person." She turned on her stunned girlfriend and embraced me although I didn't hug back.

She whispered in my ear. "I'll handle her. Go home, Hina-chan."

"But-but, wait, Hinata…" Ino's hand was outstretched, as if she were trying to grab it away from me, I backed away.

And then I left there so quickly I don't remember how I got home.

* * *

_Dear Sakura,_

_After all that's happened, this is what I took from it:_

'_Beauty is all about the actions, not the thoughts. These are the things that define a person, and make them beautiful.'_

_Define a person...could I define Ino?_

_I love Ino, and she knows it. She was there for me when I had no one, and I owe her a lot more than what I can give her, but this…this part of Ino I've never seen before. Since when have I become so disgusting that she doesn't even want me around anymore?_

_Maybe she was right; beauty comes from the actions of a person, not the thoughts. And all this time I've been concerning myself with the thought that Ino cared for me, but maybe she doesn't…_

_And since we're on the subject,_

_What does that really mean? And for that reason, why would Ino tell Sakura something like that, like she knew about what the journal's purpose was for. I'm not putting any pieces together here, Sakura…_

_Ugh, what do I do now? Everything's falling apart. I get a minute of peace, and a day of hell. I'm not even sad right now. I'm more…confused. Intrigued, almost. Like I want to know how much Ino really knows about Sasuke, Naruto, and I. And why is she defending them when she doesn't like Naruto at all?_

_When did things become so complicated? Sometimes I just feel like―_

_

* * *

  
_

Someone was knocking at my door. For a second, my heart sped up and I was afraid of someone seeing me writing in this, but then I had to think to myself…why was I so worried?

The knocking came back. I shoved the journal underneath my pillow. "Yes? Come in."

"It's me." Neji, my cousin, I hadn't spoken to him in a while.

This day was getting more and more complicated. "Is there something I can help you with?"

Then there was a silence. I waited patiently.

"Meet me at three o'clock. The Hokage Tower." I waited for more, but nothing came, so I assumed he left just as quickly as he came. I dug out my journal and pen again.

* * *

―_Oh sorry, that was my cousin Neji. I know I don't talk about him much, considering all the things that have happened involving our relationship. And he definitely avoided me when I was with Naruto, but I understand why, and I didn't complain too much about it._

_But now…now I feel like this is an opportunity to close a door between us. He knows I care for him, it's just….hard to be around someone like him. I feel like he still doesn't see me as someone worthy enough to be a relative._

_I wonder if I'm even wrong for saying that, Sakura. But it's really how I feel!_

_Anyway, he told me to meet him at three, at the Hokage Tower. I don't know why, but I'm coming. I have too, if Ino does succeed in separating Sakura and I, then I'll be all alone again…and I don't want to be alone anymore!_

_Maybe that's why…nevermind._

_This is an opportunity, and I've learned that you should always take advantages of them, right?_

_Hinata_

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I hope you liked it!

Please review!

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	6. And Neji Who Belongs to Something Higher

_Beautiful People_

_Chapter 6: And Neji Who Belongs to Something Higher._

_Beta: beta'd by strawberries and napkins_

….

The next morning was a blur. I did everything I was supposed to, paid everyone their respect in the house, and tucked away my journal once I was completely assured Neji wouldn't look for it in that place. It wasn't as if I didn't trust him, heck, he was the only person in this entire city I trust (besides Sakura) nowadays. But something part of me warned that even if I trusted them, no one should ever touch the journal besides me. It was part of me now, and every time I looked at it, I feel like it was looking right back at me. The mirror I was afraid to hold up to myself.

Once I started thinking though, just sitting on my bed and staring, I remembered that Neji wasn't going to come to my room and that I was supposed to meet him, from what I could remember from yesterday.

'_The Hokage Tower. Three o' clock.'_

Well, crap. My clock read 3:30.

I bolted as fast as I could, ran out of my home and into the heart of Konoha. Left, right. Then another left. Two rights. Then I figured if I dived into this alleyway, I could reach the Hokage Tower quickly. I did. As soon as I was out, I saw him. He was sitting in front of the building, staring at something that wasn't there. The wind was blowing, his hair was tied loosely, and strands flew freely around his face, and there was the same word that crossed my mind, yet again.

It took my awhile before I moved again; I snapped a twig and caught his attention. He didn't jump or flinch, and I thought for a moment that maybe he already knew I was watching him in the shadows. He patted the seat beside him. I sat down and stared at our surroundings. There wasn't much to see, a few trees, an empty street, some civilians. We didn't talk at first.

"You've been avoiding me."

"No," I answered quickly; it was the truth.

He didn't immediately ask another question. The wind picked up again behind us, and this time my hair fluttered along with his. I felt at peace, I felt good. We sit in silence, and I was looking up at the afternoon sun when he spoke again.

"Have you eaten yet?" he said to me. I shook my head negatively. He pulled out the wrapped bentos that lay beside his feet, and I think he almost smiled at me.

"Let's go eat then."

* * *

We moved to the grassier part of Konoha, full of the calm elderly citizens of Konoha. There was a park nearby, full of bustling children, but Neji managed to find us a place where we could eat in peace and I wondered if he had memorized where to go before we even did this. We didn't talk as we ate, and I was surprised how good the food was Neji prepared. The silence was welcome and comfortable. I began to feel awkward when Neji finished before me; he seemed perfectly content sitting and staring off into the distance, but I couldn't help to think that he was waiting for me to finish before he said anything.

I was right.

As soon as I put down the bento he made, Neji started with his questions.

"Why didn't you come home yesterday?"

Simple question, I had my answer. "I was at Sakura's house. We were just hanging out and before I knew it, it was too late and I slept over." He nodded.

"Then why'd you come home yesterday afternoon?"

My hands curled into fists. Yes, I still remembered Ino and her attempt at ruining my life, but I wasn't ready to openly talk about it.

So I stayed with a safe answer. "I…well, Ino came over and…"

"Ah," he murmured. When the wind picked up and began rustling the trees and making the birds sing with displeasure, pushed his hair back.

I sighed and leaned my back against the tree we sat under. Although I had a feeling that Neji was only getting started with his questions and ideas, I couldn't help but feel relaxed around him. What my cousin probably didn't know about me is that not only do I respect him; I also need him around me. Things wouldn't be right if he weren't in the house, and just with him offering to give me advice and comfort were enough to keep the shreds of sanity I now cling to in desperation.

"How are Sakura and Ino?" he asked me.

"They are doing fine."

"Hm." He placed his hands on his lap. "And what about you, Hinata. Are you doing fine?"

I opened my mouth, but he stopped me. His eyes were trained on the ground as he spoke. "Honestly. Are you _really _okay?"

He made me take my time answering this one. "I've...I've been better." I had to smile despite myself; I didn't want him to believe that I wasn't okay. I was okay, just not in the way I should be.

"When will you decide to tell me about it?" He still wasn't looking at me.

"I---"

"Why do you insist on keeping things from me?" There was a tinge of anger to his voice, but I would not blame him.

He must be frustrated, all those times I've neglected to talk to him, ignored him as if he were unavailable to me, and shut myself in a hole I could've easily dug myself out of. And then I felt guilty, when I didn't want to be. He always had a way of manipulating my emotions, bringing out the things I wanted to ignore, in the least amount of words.

There wasn't much of a reply that I could give to him anymore. I looked around. The children were a far distance off, playing in the grass with giggles and laughter. There were couples who sat and relaxed in each others company. I watched as a girl held out her lap for her boyfriend, who reluctantly rested his head on her lap.

I smiled and brushed away the crumbs from my own lap, and looked at Neji. "Here."

He looked down, and then up at me again with a humorous look on his face. "Here, what?"

"My lap, come and lay." I smiled. He didn't.

"If I do, will you tell me?" I nodded. He still looked reluctant, but I knew he'd comply, and he did. Before I realized, his head was on my lap, and his eyes had closed. All of a sudden I could watch his chest rise and fall. I could feel his heartbeat, and it brought back memories of a time when I'd done this…

But in order to tell him, I had to push that though away. I told him everything, I told him about my encounter with Naruto and Sasuke, my encounter with Sasuke in a less friendly way, to the comfortable evening with Sakura, and the harsh reality wake up from Ino. Somehow, I was able to carefully tread around the information about the journal, but there wasn't much you could keep from Neji.

"You're keeping a journal now…because of Sakura, am I right?"

"…Y-yes."

His eyes weren't open, but I wish they were, so I could stare at eyes that looked like mine. "In this journal," he continued**,** "what is it helping you with?"

I decided to be honest with him. "I hope to find out the meaning of beauty again. I've lost my way."

It hurt to be this honest.

"The meaning of beauty…" he murmured. While he thought to himself, I allowed myself to stroke the ends of his chocolate-colored hair that had spilled over my lap. Truly, I knew such beautiful people. My hair touching became a little bolder as I drifted off into thinking, but Neji didn't oppose to it as he usually would, and he was very touchy about his hair.

"Would you like to hear what I think?" he asked.

I nodded eagerly. "Very much so."

"I think…beauty is not something that can be easily defined. The mind can manipulate the idea of beauty, something that is constantly changing, based on looks or personality."

He opened his eyes and looked back into mine. It was the first time I've seen something like me in a long time.

"Beauty is in spirit."

I didn't understand, so I told him that.

"Have you ever felt that, when you look at a person, sometimes you see right past how they look, because you've already been subjected to that idea of that beauty? And then you don't focus on their personality anymore, because you've resolved to accept both pros and cons of them, and your idea of beauty no longer fits that description. And so you are finally able to look into that person's soul and you see something so… overwhelming."

His eyes had fluttered shut again, and a wind began to dance around us. I was caught between his words, because I was imagining everyone I knew, and how I wasn't yet able to tell if they were beautiful, I could not yet see that deeply. I couldn't see as deep as he could.

"Souls have no look, no personality. No positive, no negative, nothing to compensate with. They just are. You see them, and they will tell you if they are beautiful or not. And then you'll never have to judge it yourself, because beauty was not meant to be judged, it was meant to be."

I didn't say anything. My eyes were watering with tears, because although I couldn't say if I agreed or not, a big part of me wanted to say yes, say 'yes Neji, this is what I'm looking for.' But I couldn't.

Because I still don't know _what_ I'm looking for.

I waited until the thought of crying passed over me before I considered opening my mouth to speak.

"Neji, I--"

"Hina-chan? Neji?" Again, my thoughts were interrupted. But by a person I no longer wanted to see. I turned slowly; Neji removed his head from my lap. We stared blankly, openly, and in my case, mouth agape.

There was Naruto, in all of his calm glory. He was in the park as well, but on the path walk, and probably only walking through. This was coincidence.

"I, uh, hi. I didn't think I'd see you guys here."

I was still speechless. Neji wasn't. "Hello, Naruto-kun."

But Naruto wasn't looking at Neji, he was looking at me, and I could tell he was nervous, by that anxious smile on his face, and the way he kept shifting from foot to foot, the lack of speech was unnerving him. So I gave a smile as real as I could.

"Hey, Naruto…kun. How are you?"

"Oh me? I'm doing great, just getting some fresh air. I've actually been looking for you, I've been meaning to talk to you for a while and I just wanted to say that--"

"Naruto-kun, as you can already see, Hinata and I were busy," Neji cut Naruto off sharply. His eyes spoke of cold and anger.

Naruto looked ready to respond, but relented. "Ah, you're right. Sorry, I guess this is a bad time. I still want to talk though. Meet me in two days**.**" He had started walking away once Neji stood. "At Ichiraku!"

And then as soon as he had come, he was gone. I forgot to speak, so I must've looked dumb as I stared upwards at a towering Neji. He chuckled. "Your foolish affections." He held come his hand.

I took it. "I suppose you could say that. I just…oh, Neji, your hair." I pointed to it. It had finally come loose from the band that kept it neat and swung freely on his back and shoulders. He shrugged.

"I'm in a good mood today. Now," he said, smiled at me. "Shall we return home?"

"Yes." I smiled back. The sun was finally beginning to set. "Let's go home."

* * *

We arrived at the front gate of the Hyuuga Estate, but there was another person to meet us. This one I was more aware of.

It was Kiba, my teammate and friend. It had been a while since I've spoken to him too, I suppose. I looked to Neji who pointed at the door.

"I'll be inside, make it quick." And then he left us to our privacy.

Kiba stood, hands clenched together, he didn't immediately start talking, so I did.

"If this is about my disappearance, I apologize. I'll be in soon tomorrow, I promise."

He shook his head. "No, it isn't about that."

I opened my mouth, but he stopped me. "I heard about everything from Ino. Sasuke's a real jerk for doing that, I hope you know. I'm on your side Hinata."

I smiled. "Thank you, Kiba-kun."

He started blushing, and his eyes dropped down to the ground for a moment, and then I knew why he came. "I just…I know things have been rough for you, for me too. You've lost the people you leaned on."

_Have I? Have I lost the people I once leaned on?_

"I want to be there for you."

_No, you don't. I'm more trouble than you could ever imagine._

"I want to be that person for you, Hinata. Let _me_ treat you the way you should be treated." He took a step forward, and I took one back.

"N-No…No, Kiba…you don't want me." I shook my head and began to brush off his comments, fighting hard within myself to not let me emotions become involved.

I opened up the gate, and stepped inside. He didn't move.

"I like you, Hinata. I can't just ignore that. I want to show you that, meet me at the Konoha Gardens, two days from now, and I'll show you."

_Two days…_

"I won't give up, Hinata," he called after me as I closed the gate behind me and began walking off.

_Yes you will, Kiba-kun. They all do._

_

* * *

  
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_Dear Sakura,_

_I don't know what to say right now. I'm in my room, I'm tired, and my head is swimming. I've spent the day with Neji, and he told me a little bit about his idea of beauty. It was so nice to spend time with him out in the park. Just him and I. To listen to his idea…well, it's been awhile since I've done that, hasn't it?_

_He tells me beauty comes from the soul, but I cannot pierce any soul. My eyes, my eyes that can see through a human, cannot see through a soul. How ironic, huh?_

_Then we see Naruto. Naruto…who says he wants to see me…who tells me to meet him at Ichiraku in two days time. I don't understand him. He avoids me, and now he expects me to follow him anywhere. I want to be mad, but we both knew I wouldn't be. He was too sincere, and I want to follow him…I still want to follow him anywhere…_

_And then there's Kiba. Sweet, innocent, Kiba, who was just as sincere. He claims he will capture my heart, yet I don't know if I can give him one._

_I don't know where mine is._

_I'm so confused! I'm so lost…I'm so torn…_

_I don't understand, and I have a very bad feeling I'm going to be used…_

_Hinata_

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_Don't wanna ruin the ending. 'Please review,' in my quiet whisper. xD_

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	7. But can a Stranger give better answers?

_Beautiful People_

_Chapter 7: But can a stranger give you better answers?_

_Beta: beta'd by strawberries and napkins_

….

_Mornings are dull,_ I decided. Sitting around thinking was uneventful, and I clearly had too much to think about. Neji was out, he refused to tell me what for, but that he'll spend time with me tonight, and that was enough for me. Lately, I've been less expectant of things. I'm not saying I think Neji won't keep his promise, he will. I just feel like I should've fought for more, instead of settling.

Because sitting out here is _painful._

I left the house, in the baggiest pants I had on, and walked. About a mile, I suspected, because I ended back up in the Konoha Market District. The people were lively, selling and buying such meaningless things, their personalities the opposite of me. I didn't feel like doing much, and I didn't want to buy anything. But as I walked down the crowded road on my lonesome, merchants were shoving all types of food at me, which my stomach was grumbling fiercely. In embarrassment, I stumbled into the nearest store. Looking up, I realized I was in another sweet house.

"Sweets," I mumbled to myself and sat down in a booth. I checked my pockets, I didn't have a lot of money with me, so I had to choose something cheap, but I already knew what I wanted.

"Mango Parfait," I said when the waitress appeared. The service was fast, but when she set the dessert in front me of me, I grimaced in disgust, the ice cream was already melting and the mangoes were soggy and swimming in the pool of vanilla ice cream. I pushed it away from me. What a waste. But as I put the money for it on the table, and began to slide out of the seat, someone slid into the seat across from me. I blinked a few times. She was fair-skinned, and sprinkled with dirt. Her hair was full, thick and darker than anything I've seen, kept in a slack ponytail that barely reached her shoulders. And her eyes were the same shade of darkness, too. Although her skin was imperfect, she was still pretty.

She grinned toothily. "I will trade you this apple for that," she pointed to the melting parfait and held out the large apple in her other hand. I nodded and took the apple, but didn't bite. On the contrary, my stranger had already pulled the parfait close to her, and shoved in at least two spoonfuls before she started talking again.

"You must live around here," she said, mouth full. "Because you look funny. Do your eyes do that all the time?"

I wanted to giggle, but I just nodded instead. She knew nothing of my bloodline. She swallowed. "Thought so. You Konoha people are weird, me, I think I'm pretty normal. Only time I ever need to be here, is to sell apples. I love apples, but you Konoha people sure act like you don't need 'em."

"You must love mangoes too," I said as she ate another spoonful of ice cream, and she laughed. Her eating habits weren't as bad as I would've guessed, aside from talking with her mouth full. I was still in shock, one moment I was lamenting that I was alone, and now I've met a complete stranger who was in no way shy about introducing herself. By the looks of her clothing, she must live on the outskirts of some nation, in the places that still farm for a living. The apple still sat in my lap, untouched.

She raised an eyebrow. "What? You don't like apples neither?" I jerked. Her voice was thick and deep, and reminded me of chocolate.

"No, that's not it," I lied. I hated apples. Hm…maybe she did have a point in her stereotype.

The girl shrugged and spooned up a soggy mango to her lips. "Food here is good," she murmured. "Nothing like this over there."

I sat forward. "If you don't mind me asking, where do you live?"

"None of ya business." She answered curtly that had me taken aback. I sat back in my seat, with nothing else to say.

_She's so…strange!_

She ate, and I watched her, fingering the apple in my lap. There was shrilling laughter behind me, and I turned around and saw three other kunoichi in another booth, who were looking over and pointing with hushed voices. I rolled my eyes.

"You know them?" I jumped again and returned my attention to the girl in front of me, finally finishing my snack. I nodded.

"I asked them for their food too, I said, 'give me those dangos for this here apple?' and you know what they said, 'shoo! Get away from us!' Like I'm some dog, or something. I'm no dog, I'm sure of that."

_She's not very literate, _I noted, but I sympathized with her. I knew them, all three of them. Busty girls with no ninja skill. The kind of girls that Naruto attract, and he's had all three of them, I knew them well. Yes, I knew them well.

"You seem distracted," the girl noted. I shook my head. "Nothing…I'm just, thinking."

"'Bout?"

"It's okay; I don't feel like talking about it."

She shifted her eyes and muttered, "You Konohas never want to talk. So different from us."

I didn't answer.

"It's probably a boy; all girls are troubled by boys." She said with a smirk.

I frowned. "What makes you think it's a boy?"

"Because you're too pretty to be alone by yourself like this, that much I'm sure of." She grinned at me. I blushed in embarrassment.

I wanted to return the compliment, but for some reason I'm not aware of, I didn't. She was still staring at me, so I changed the subject. "What's you name?"

"You don't need to know that."

…_Well, I guess I don't anymore. _"Would you like me to order you something else?" I tried. She shook her head and stretched, yawning deep.

"Nope, it's time for me to leave anyway, have to harass you people to buy my apples." She stood up and slid out of the booth, but as she walked past me, I shouted for her to wait.

"Hold on!" I cried, and then searched frantically for an excuse while she stared at me, arms crossed, in annoyance.

"I, uh, I'd like to buy some apples…please?"

* * *

You know, Neji's smirking face is starting to piss me off. I haven't even made it to my room without him following me with those, those…_leering _eyes of his!

"What's your deal?" I grumbled, pushing past him. He followed after me.

"Why apples?"

"Because I felt like apples today."

"You hate apples."

"Well, I changed my mind." I blushed, and kept my head down as I trudged the five pound bag of lumpy-looking apples behind me. He scooped them out of my hand and held them up, examining them. I crossed my arms over my chest.

I entered my room and attempted to shut the door behind me but Neji managed to slip himself in. _Well, fine, _I thought to myself. I guess I could use the company. I dropped the apples beside my bed with a loud 'thunk', and crawled on my bed in exhaustion. He sat on the edge of my bed and stared at me.

My face went hot. "What do you want?"

"I need someone to brush my hair 100 times for me."

I groaned. "100 times?"

He nodded and held out the brush concealed in his other hand, which I did not notice. "Yes, 100 times."

* * *

Although it was tedious, I was starting to enjoy it, sitting here just brushing his hair carefully and I was a bit jealous at the way it shone even in the dim lamp light of my room. The sky had already turned dark, the signs of nighttime, but I wasn't ready to sleep. All I wanted to do was comb his hair and forget about my day.

_54, 55, 56…_

"You left today."

"Yes."

_57, 58, 59, 60. 61…_

"Why?"

_Sixty…two?_

I don't think I should lie to him…

"I…I was trying to find Naruto."

I could feel his back tense at the mention of his name. I resumed.

_63, 64, 65, 66._

He didn't say anything, and I thought maybe he was trying to ask me why I was looking for him, but he already knew why. He understood me.

"And did you find him?"

"No."

_67, 68, 69._

'_Heh, it used to be inconsiderate of him to ask me so many questions of me. Now he_ needs_ to ever since…'_

_Seventy._

Neji stroked my leg absently as I combed through, his head was down and low, and for a moment I thought he had fallen asleep. But he didn't, he was just thinking, like he _always _is.

_71, 72, 73!_

"Why do you still bother with him?" His voice was torn into a strangled whisper that threatened me to be careful with my answer. This time, I would not lie. I stopped brushing and wrapped my arms around his torso, then laid my head on his back, breathing in the deep scent of mint from his hair.

"I love him." I did not notice my own tears.

He didn't answer me so I continued. "I love him…so much, and from it I only get pain…" I wonder still if what I said was truth.

He patted my leg. "Stop running from it then."

"It follows me."

"And that's what life is, Hinata. Pain is just an unfortunate compromise, if you're looking for something. What are you looking for?"

_How do I answer you?_

"Hinata, what are you―"

_Please, no more._

"I used to have hair like yours. I used to have really nice hair, before all this…"I whispered and buried my head in his hair. I listened to his heart beat, and lost another tear, because his heart was not the one I remembered.

He nodded. "You have beautiful hair."

I sniffled, and unstuck his hair from my cheeks as I sat up again. Wiped my face, and picked up the brush. I lost count…

"Seventy four," he said.

_You still make me smile, Neji._

"Sorry I cried…" I sniffled.

_75, 76, 77, 78, 79._

"Sometimes you need to cry, don't you? Don't be ashamed."

_80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87…_

"Neji."

"Hm?"

"I don't regret it."

"Mm."

_88, 89, 90. 91, 92, 93, 94, 95._

_What do you call that feeling when something forces you to say stuff you don't even yourself understand?_ "I don't regret any of it."

Neji inhaled sharply. "All these years…and you're still just as foolish." Even from the back of his head, I could feel his smile.

_96, 97._

I smiled too.

"What will you do now?" He murmured.

I'll always want my hair to shine like his, and shine like Sasuke's, I'd promise myself that.

"Eat an apple and do some writing."

_98, 99…_

"But you hate apples."

"I can change."

_100._

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* * *

  
_

Even after shooing Neji out of my room, and preparing myself for a resting I didn't need, I still had nothing to say when I opened Sakura and she greeted with the deep smell of blank pages. I took a bite of the apple in my left hand and did not make a face. The taste was tangy at first, but then became sweet. An imperfect apple, and yet still as tasty.

_I know what to write about now. _I grabbed my pen.

_Dear Sakura, _

_Today I've learned something important about myself. I've learned that it's not completely hopeless, my situation I mean. The truth can only set you free to a point, the rest I'll have to do myself. And that's okay. I have Sakura, and Neji, and you. I will face my problems, and when I do, I hope I'll have the same faith and courage of a certain stranger. A stranger with an imperfect beauty, if there is such a thing. If I could meet her again, I'll tell her that. I'll tell her that I'm still searching for beauty in myself, but I saw it an imperfect beauty in you._

_And that can broaden my search some, right?_

_Tomorrow I have many problems to face, but for tonight Sakura, I'll dream about me and my hair._

_Hinata._

_

* * *

  
_

_What to say here, I feel like I was all over the place, but I was trying to expose more of Hinata's feelings, so hopefully, I did just that. And sorry for throwing in some random character, but I couldn't just go down the list of available Naruto characters, could I? No, that'd be boring and predictable, and I like to think of myself and Hinata as neither of these things. :p_

_Enough with me, please review!_


	8. Yet I Never Left Him

_Beautiful People_

_Chapter 8: Yet I Never Left Him._

_Beta: beta'd by strawberries and napkins_

"_Naruto."_

_The bed underneath them creaked in response. His body was heavy, slick with sweat, and held the musky smell that she could only recognize as being Naruto. My Naruto._

"_Naruto," I whispered again in pain, blinked back the tears that had already slid down my cheeks but my eyes were facing the ceiling, strangely. I don't want to look at him, I couldn't imagine his face._

_His body grew even heavier, if possible. His hands were clammy, but they were gentle, so I adhered to them. I gasped, he groaned._

_The old springs beneath the bed were breaking under our weight, our awkward motions. It broke underneath us even more, if possible._

"_Please," he whispered in my ear, and kissed me again. It tasted of passion and intimacy and I thought that he and I could get no closer than this; this was all I could give him._

_His fingers clutched the sheets beside me, "Please, say my name again."_

"_N-Naruto," I squeaked out. A ripple of some sort of pleasure ripped through me, and I was able to moan for the first time. "Naruto," I said again, with more confidence and let lust thicken the sound of my own voice._

_His body seemed to react to it before his own lips. "D-Don't leave me, Hinata."_

_I wrapped my arms around his neck, buried my nose deep in the smell that was both intoxicating and pungent at the same time. _

"_Never. I'll never leave you."_

Then I awoke. My heart was pounding, and my heads were wet with sweat. I waited for noise, in case I might have screamed. Nothing. At least, nothing anyone heard anyway. I was screaming but not because it wasn't the dream that had left me so unsettled and embarrassed.

It's because it wasn't a dream. It was a memory.

* * *

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

I laughed despite myself. If I told him the truth, if I honestly told him that I had no idea what I was doing or what to expect, he wouldn't let my out my own room door. I know he was only looking out for me, but honestly, isn't it a bit too late to do that? I was beside myself, and opted not to answer him. He scowled, but I continued to fix my appearance and ignore his lingering gazes.

Then I set down my brush, turned around to leave, but as expected Neji blocked my way.

I sighed. "Neji, please. You've become difficult."

"And you stubborn."

Could I argue with him there? "I've already made my decision Neji, its okay."

His eyes didn't even flicker.

"I'll be okay." I pressed further, and lightly touched his shoulder for emphasis, and he relented and stepped aside.

I smiled at him as quickly as I could and left without looking back. That would just be too painful, wouldn't it? And I have to do this on my own.

No one else will.

* * *

_Dear Sakura,_

_I wonder if at this point it's okay for me to think that 'no one else will.' I'm getting a bit apathetic about this, because it's true. You see that don't you? And yes, while I do realize that Neji and I have grown closer from all this, I refuse to rely on him. I refuse to rely on anyone for anything, especially answers._

_That's why I went to find Naruto._

_Sometimes I wonder if it was the right thing to do, if I'm just still be played for a fool, controlled by some force that keeps bringing me back to the beginning of the question without an answer._

_That made me angry. _

_I was angry when I found Naruto._

_I was angry when I found Naruto with _him.

* * *

Finding Naruto was easy; he was right where he said he would be, because he doesn't break promises like that. He probably would've stood there waiting for me whether I had shown up or not.

What I did _not _expect, was the sour-faced Uchiha beside him. I squeaked and hid behind the nearest thing which happened to be a cart. Was I afraid of him?

Of course not.

* * *

_Sakura, I lied. I'm deathly afraid of him, and not just because of his violent nature, if you can catch my drift._

_

* * *

  
_

"Hnn," Naruto whined and checked his hand watch and then scratched his head. Looked both ways for any sigh of me, and then went back to grumbling. This must've repeated about three times before Sasuke blew up.

He hit Naruto over the head but not hard. It was…playful, if you could call it that. Naruto winced anyway. "Stop doing that, it's annoying."

"You didn't have to show up, you know. No one asked you to come." Naruto shot back and rolled his eyes, checking his watch yet again.

I swore to myself. I had killed over fifteen minutes hiding behind this darn cart that could be moved at any minute. How pathetic was I?

* * *

_I'm pretty sure this morning I had already had it in my mind that today was not going to work out well for me, and so far, it isn't. But I didn't cry yet, and that was a _big _plus. And even the dulling throb in my chest was much less than it was say, about a week ago. Never did I think that I might actually be _over _Naruto, because it's so obvious, I'm not. I don't think I'll ever be. But I do think that my deep sadness is being replaced by something._

_I think it might be rage._

_

* * *

  
_

"Jeez, where is she? I thought she'd be here by now, she's never this late." Naruto checked the streets again.

_Over here! _If only I could shout to him without the fear of potential embarrassment and shame, and maybe even another confrontation. All things I do not need. Not now, and not ever.

Sasuke scowled and brush stands of his hair away from his damp face. They were bother beginning to perspire, which means that they were out here waiting for me way before I had even considered showing up. But as pleasantly surprised that could make me, I definitely didn't think that Sasuke was waiting for me with any good intention in mind. Probably only to watch me around him.

* * *

_It's wrong of me to be slightly angry and jealous that Sasuke was thinking farther ahead then I was, distrusting me so quickly._

_But then at the same, I don't trust myself either._

_No, wait. I _do _trust myself around Naruto now; I wouldn't do something like that. I may be confused and maybe even personally distressed, but I'm not selfish._

…

_I take that back. I'm very selfish, Sakura._

_Very jealous._

_

* * *

  
_

Naruto managed to slink an arm around the Uchiha's waist and pull him closer, much to the raven's annoyance.

"Tired of waiting for her? She's not coming." Sasuke said, scowling, but it all for naught because the boy was blushing. All Naruto did was nuzzle his face in his hair, and Sasuke's face was a steaming red.

Now who's pathetic.

I made a laugh through my lips and then instantly regretted it as I ducked low behind the wooden contraption. They didn't catch me, I'm sure of that, but just to be on the safe side I'll keep my head down for anther moment or two and then I'll look again.

* * *

_There's a lot of things I wish I could take back Sakura, and looking back up was one of them. How in the world were the two of them arguing on whether or not_ I _would show my face, and now they're kissing as if they wouldn't see each other for a very long time._

_It's as if the whole world could look at it and keep moving on with their lives, just accept their relationship for what it was and move on. Why could everyone do that so easily?_

_Why can't I?_

_Why can't I just be another one in the crowd, who just looks up at them, and then looks down and scurried off to do something more important, instead of hiding behind here not only because I was afraid to approach the two of them, I was afraid to do it and admit that I had seen their intimacy._

_Oh, that would just make Sasuke all the smugger._

_And I'll be damned if I'll let him get something like this on me._

_

* * *

  
_

More kissing. I ducked my head back under until I couldn't hear anything suspicious anymore. I looked up, and they were done. Sasuke's face had taken enough torture and Naruto seemed pleased by it,

"You're right; she won't even want to see me. Sorry for having you wait with me, it was a lost cause anyway. Jeez, I hate when you're right." He slid his hand and laced his fingers with Sasuke, who flinched but didn't reject.

He smirked. "I always am." And then Naruto began tugging the blond away from Ichiraku and I got to see his last quick parting glance as if he were still trying hard to see if I had shown up.

But in reality, I didn't, did I?

I stood up, deeming it safe. Watched their backs, and then in some type of dramatic slow-motion, I watched Sasuke look back.

Look back in _my _direction.

He knew I was here!

_He knew I was here all along!_

"Sasuke!" I called after him dramatically, and I know he must've heard me, but pulled Naruto along like it was nothing.

Like _I _was nothing.

And that means, everything…everything that he said, and did, it was all on purpose? He was trying to hurt me?

Will I let him hurt me again?

* * *

_But this isn't my fault! I had planned to go see Naruto all along! Our conversation was going to go something like this:_

"_Hey, Hina-chan, I'm glad you could make it."_

_Then I would say something like, "Yes Naruto, I'm here."_

_He would notice my face. I had practiced this. I'd be looking down, my face twisted in self-remorse. He'd ask me what's wrong and then I'd look at him and say,_

_say…_

_Just what would I say?_

'_I love you?'_

'_I hate you?'_

'_How could you?'_

'_How _dare_ you?'_

_So many things, that now I'm thinking about it. Sasuke did me a favor. I wasn't ready for what I was about to do and probably just end up making myself even more depressed and resentful and angry. It would be a mess; I could just be digging myself an even bigger grave._

_Gosh. There's something wrong with me, isn't there? There are some things I can't even talk to Neji about, and this is one of them. I didn't want to see his face right now, or be held…anything. I don't need it._

_I'm not a child._

_But I sure do feel like one. And that's okay, everyone feels like that sometimes, right?_

_I really wish you could talk back to me, Sakura. I need another voice. _

_That's it. I've decided I'm not staying at home tonight. I need Sakura. The real Sakura. And I know it's really late and all and she's probably fast asleep, but she won't mind._

_I won't take you with me. Stay safe until I get back._

_Hinata_

* * *

Aren't you glad Hinata didn't get courage then and confront them? What a total dramatic mess it would've been, and awkward too. When I did this, I definitely had more than a few random memories pop up about awkward situations where I've done more awkward things then hide behind something and pray not to be seen. :p

What's gonna happen next? Hinata's leaving in the middle of the night to see Sakura to get something she's not even sure of, please review and see how it'll turn out!


	9. Are You Mine, Sakura?

Beautiful People

Chapter 9: Are You Mine, Sakura?

Beta: beta'd by strawberries and napkins

….

_A/N: This chapter happens to be a bit AU, I didn't intend for it, but since I added a gun to it, it just happened. Don't mind it._

Okay, so maybe escaping from my warm bed in the middle of the night in order to find some condolence during what in my opinion in the biggest thunderstorm Konoha had ever experienced might not be the best idea.

But what was wrong with just crawling in Neji's bed for the night? He'd probably baby me the same, too. But then I had already answered my question. I didn't want to be babied, I just wanted a friend, and maybe what Neji was wasn't what I was looking for in a friend.

Maybe that was just my problem, and it didn't matter anyway, I was already at her front door knocking like there was a monster behind me.

Oh, yeah. The key.

I remembered. As I fumbled with it being tucked deep inside my shirt, connected to a necklace I always wore with me now, I remembered how I got the key in the first place.

_My chest hurt, I was probably running around in circles at this rate; my ankle was broken and judging by the pain a few of my ribs were broken, but my fingers were clenched tightly around the very thing I was getting beaten for, and I refused to let go. No, I wouldn't let go, not for these liars. I was doing this for Naruto._

"_Get back here you bitch, there's nowhere else to hide!" Voices behind me, they were getting closer. Shoot, they were right. Where else could I go?_

_I was panting; I looked around, and recognized my surroundings. I was near Sakura's home. If I could get there, she could save me!_

_Oh man, I think I was bleeding all over the ground and I prayed my feet wouldn't give in just yet, I have to make to Sakura's house first. "You bastards, you're not getting anything until you pay me first!" I shouted without turning around and dived into an alleyway, the shortcut I knew that would put me just inches away from her doorstep. But I knew they were following me, and closing in._

_I hopped the fence and tread silently through the grassy lawn, and unto her porch. One knock._

"_Sakura, open up, its Hinata. Hurry!"_

_Nothing. I was getting frustrated. Two knocks, harder. "SAKURA, IT'S HINATA, PLEASE!"_

_My voice was giving away where I was. They shouted for me, and I started crying out of fear and in my own disbelief I can't believe it took me this long to start fearing the very thing I was getting myself in to._

_I was banging frantically now, shouting (and) screaming. "Sakura, Sakura please, help me! Sakura!"_

_Then the door opened, she pulled me in. But it was almost too late, the men behind me had caught up to me, and one of them was able to grab at my shirt to pull me away. With a yank, I was thrown inside and splashed blood all over her carpet. _

_My eyes were swimming, but I could still see the men trying to push their way into Sakura's house, and how she, barely clothed in the tiniest nightgown, fended three men off. One of them pulled a knife and slashed her arm. She yelled and fired._

"_S-Sakura!" I screamed, fearing that she had been shot, but she wasn't, the man who knifed her now held his chest in pain and the other two men backed away from her. She held her gun out in front of her, unmoving, daring them to take another step._

_They retreated. "This isn't over; you tell Naruto this isn't over!"_

"_Fuck you!" Sakura snarled and slammed the door behind her. She immediately dropped the gun and scrambled me into her arms, and even though it hurt so badly and I was so ashamed to be marring her nightgown because I knew how much it had cost her, I was thankful at the same time._

_She was crying. I was crying. But she shouldn't be crying, and I made her cry. "S-Sakura…"_

"_Why? Why do you let him do this to you?"_

_I bowed my head. "It wasn't supposed to happen this way; Naruto had a mission to do so I said I could help him…"_

"_Help him?" She spat. "Is this what you call help? Crying on my floor in a pool of your own blood in the middle of the night?"_

"_I know, I'm sorry Sakura," I cried._

_She was fighting not to cry too. "No more," she begged. "This has to stop, Hina-chan. I can't do this anymore, I-I shot someone…"_

_She was right. We couldn't do this anymore. "I know, it's enough. I'm done with this, I promise."_

_Sakura smiled despite herself and took a necklace off of her, and put it over my head. I frowned. "What---?"_

"_Key to my house. If I hadn't come sooner you could've been dead. Let's make sure that doesn't happen next time," she said. I stared down at it with fuzzy vision._

"_There won't be a next time." I assured her and she chuckled through her tears._

"_Mm. L-Let's clean you up now."_

_Only thing is, I lied. That wasn't the last time, was it?_

I was inside, shivering. I stood, waited and watched as her bedroom light flicked on, she scrambled to clothe herself and climbed down the stairs in pink fuzzy slippers. She wasn't even surprised to see me completely soaked and shivering. I told her that.

"I've seen you in worse condition," she pointed out and embraced me anyway, and I found out how cold I was really was.

She tightened her hold. "You used the key, didn't you?"

"Mm."

"You remember when I gave you that key?"

I attempted to laugh. "You're too late, I already had the flashback." She released me with a pout.

"Tired, aren't you?"

I nodded. Sakura sighed and looped an arm around my waist, pulling me upstairs. "Then let's get you undressed, and under some sheets before you catch a cold. Whatever it is I'm sure you can tell me in the morning."

My god, this is why I needed her so much. This might be the only time I truly smiled in such a long time.

"So, you went to see Naruto, but he was with Sasuke, and since you couldn't take having to face them both together, you hid behind a cart for what could have been hours on end, only to realize that Sasuke knew you were there the whole time?" Sakura reasoned.

I nodded and then winced. The way she said it made it seem so terribly awful and embarrassing.

And…her barking laughter didn't make it any less unbearable for me.

"Shut up, already!" I whined and shoveled another spoonful of ice cream down. Ice cream for breakfast was one of the best ideas Sakura's come up with for a long time.

She was coughing and spluttering for a while. "Sorry, sorry. It's just…so weird. I mean, why did you come to see me, wouldn't Neji have sufficed?"

I rolled my eyes. "Neji's not…what I was looking for." She nodded.

"I get it, I get it. I mean, Neji's not exactly my first choice in things like comfort either, but he's like me too. I mean, we both just want you to be happy."

She did have a point. But something like this, it just…I don't want to drag anyone else in it, and since Sakura's been waist-deep in my issues for such a long time, to me it just makes sense to do it this way. Maybe I'm just making it too complicated.

Sakura grumbled when she ate, she always does, and it was distracting my inner thoughts. "So, yeah, that's why I came."

"You mean, that's why you came in the middle of the night," she remarked while scraping the last bits of ice cream stuck to the walls of the container we shared.

I snorted despite myself. "Yeah, that's why."

"And do you feel any better?"

Did I feel any better? Do I feel any better?

The words were coagulating in my throat. "N-…well, yea-, um… I don't…know really."

She raised an eyebrow and leaned back in the couch. "What do you know? What were you expecting when you decided to come here?"

Too many questions.

"I dunno, I mean, while I was going over the day in that journal, I just felt so exposed and humiliated, I mean, it was bad enough that I completely left Kiba so that I could talk to Naruto, but he was already with Sasuke. Sometimes I forget that, and maybe I'm still being dumb. I'm not afraid of Sasuke…"

That's right. I'm not afraid of Sasuke.

"Oh?" Sakura remarked absently, trying to look as unamused as she could. What a bad liar I was.

But I kept going anyway. "No, I'm afraid, of what he thinks of me."

"Hmm. Sounds like you didn't need me after all."

It was almost funny, except, I just didn't feel like laughing. I shrugged, unwilling to say how much I really did need Sakura, and at the same time deathly afraid of maybe I was making it up, and I didn't need anything, I just needed to time to think. Seems logical, I'm sitting in someone else's house chewing on dough and talking about the very thing I expected her to lay out for me.

Would it be bad of me to say that…?

She wrapped her arms around me and let me sink into Sakura who smelled like peaches and winter rain, or so her shampoo proclaims. Everytime I get hugged, it feels like the first time all over again. I remember Neji's hugs, and he always smelled like soap and his arms were lean but strong and they'd wrap around my torso like he was afraid to let go. I remember Ino's hugs were loose, and she smelled like a bath full of strawberries, and she never hugged me tightly, like I was a doll ready to break.

And I remember Naruto's hugs, they were suffocating, like I was drowning in musk and sweat and love, and they were tight, but good.

I still like Sakura's hugs better though.

"Penny for your thoughts?" She broke my thoughts, again. But her face was staring up at the ceiling.

I snorted. "Wondering where your girlfriend is when you're cuddling up to me."

She whacked me over the head with a pillow and released me. I missed the warmth.

For a moment, I think we were about to have a pillow fight, but as soon as I got ready to toss once of the throw pillows back at her, there was a knock at the door.

Well, more than a knock, a couple knocks. Actually, a lot of knocks. A lot of frequent…angry knocks.

Sakura glanced back between me and the door, and at first I had the gull to inhale sharply. Just because someone was about to break down her door, doesn't mean I'm the cause of it.

Well, usually it does mean the cause of it. And the way Sakura's legs moved of her own accord and drifted to the door like a ghost. She cracked it open an inch. Murmuring. My palms were beginning to sweat, and nothing had even happened yet.

"_Sakura, Sakura please, help me! Sakura!"_

I shook my head. No. That kind of stuff won't happen to me anymore. I sat, probably looking dumb when Sakura closed the door and stared down at me. It's a shame I'm really bad at reading eyes and faces, I have no idea what she's going to say.

Her voice starts off slow, gentle. "Was Naruto the only person you saw yesterday?" Even an idiot like myself can see the look in her eyes now, she's hinting at something I should've picked up on hours ago.

Oh shit. Kiba.

"Y-yeah…" Damnit, now I sound like a total asshole, complaining about Naruto when I left Kiba waiting for what could have been hours. What is wrong with me!?

She nodded. Once, then twice. "Did you bring your journal?"

"No."

That might be the billionth mistake I've made in the past 24 hours.

"Oh," she laughs, but it's so clearly a fake. "It's a shame; I have a feeling you're gonna need it."

She was right. When I stepped out barefoot and clad in a huge sweater I loaned from Sakura onto the cold pavement of her porch, I saw the anger melt away from Kiba's face.

I shivered, but it wasn't cold. His eyes were warm, but not comforting. So I started the conversation, "So, how'd you find out I was here?"

"I came by to talk to you at your home, but no one's seen you. I figured you'd be here." Kiba shrugged, and looked down at the ground, playing with his toe, almost shyly. My face flushed, and my eyes squinted, as if I were trying to see beyond this, beyond him. But that's not true. I just wanted to be over with, I wanted this to just go by and I wouldn't have to say…

"Hinata…"

I wouldn't have to say…

"Why didn't you show up?"

But I have to, don't I?

I have to be honest…"I-I went to see Naruto…instead."

His face was that of extreme sympathy, but then it dissipated when he rolled his eyes, swore and then threw his hands up in the air. I flinched.

"Goddamnit, Hinata, I don't understand you. After all that, all this, you still think he cares about you? That he'll suddenly wake up and realize he should've been with you?"

His words stung. I almost wanted to laugh it off, but I couldn't bear to hold his anger-filled gaze and let my head droop down to the pavement. I'd let him rant, he deserved to.

Kiba's words were crammed together and stuttered, like words wouldn't be enough. "I just—I don't believe this. I don't believe you. You sit and you act like you're the victim here, you mope around all day and hang around Sakura as if she's gonna help you, and then when you finally have an opportunity to piece your life back together, you'd throw it away for the very same person who threw you away!"

…Threw me...away?

He laughed, but it's a cold and sarcastic laugh that made me shut my eyes and wish him away with everything I have, so that he can just condemn me to hell like everyone else and get on with his life.

"You know, I used to defend you, throughout all of this, everything, I was always on your side. But now I get it, you don't want to be saved, you'd rather stay up in your little unhappy corner and be sad and miserable and pray that Naruto will come back again. It's…not right."

I should've laughed. Not right? He meant to say pathetic. And when he stopped talking to let his entire words sink in, it didn't take a genius to spell out the thing he wanted to say to me.

I'm glad Naruto left you.

Heh. Everybody seems to feel that way now.

I wanted to glare at him, and shout and defend myself, but I have nothing to defend myself over; I was alone, and pathetic, and yeah, maybe I was happy being sad.

I wanted to be ugly, because I didn't want to be pretty, and still be alone.

There was nothing else to say, he tried to talk again, but fortunately Sakura yanked the front door wide open and pulled me inside. She threw him such a fierce glare that all the contempt in his eyes towards me turned sober quick.

"Enough. You've said what you had to now get away from my home or I'll put Tsunade-sama's teaching to good use." I've seen that snarl on her a million times, but it's still as scary to me as it was to Kiba, who hurried off without another word.

She closed to the door and leaned her back against it, cowering her head so low enough that I couldn't see her eyes behind her bangs. I wanted to comfort her, and it's ironic, because right now I wasn't sure I was the one that needed comforting. I still felt numb, couldn't get over the guy who was so sweet and wanted to be with me could say such hurtful things.

But it's not like I didn't give him reason too, I'm sure it must've hurt him to wait there for me when he knew I wasn't coming, and wasn't going to come because of Naruto at that. I bet he didn't know that I actually didn't get to be with Naruto at all, I doubt anyone's told him that yet.

Even still, knowing all that, I didn't want to feel it, not now. Not when Sakura's biting her lip and her fists are coiled so tightly they were turning white. But I didn't know what to do; standing here awkwardly wasn't going to solve my problems though. I reached out and touched her shoulder.

In a flurry, she pulled me into such a tight and suffocating embrace, my first thought was to break away until the smell of peaches sank in. Then as awkwardly I could I hugged her back, but I couldn't tell if she was crying.

"I'm sorry."

I feigned a laugh. "Idiot, why are you sorry?"

"I heard everything, but I didn't come sooner. I didn't save you from that, I didn't protect you because…"

Because you wanted me to hear that, didn't you? You wanted me to hear for myself what I was doing to people; you just didn't want to do it yourself. But its okay Sakura, I'm not mad. See? I was never mad.

She sniffled. "You must hate me."

"I'll never hate you." I meant that, it sounded sincere.

Her arm settled down to my waist then, and in my awkwardness I could only wrap my arms around her neck, because she was leaning against the door so tightly my fingers would grow numb. It was awkward, but it was nice. I liked it.

Her head was buried into my shoulder, and she mumbled as she spoke. "I'm sorry; I haven't been truthful to you. I told you I was going to protect you, from all this, but I'm scared too."

"That makes two of us." I couldn't stop myself from talking.

I felt an atmosphere change, like the kind in movies where the music suddenly changes tempo, where Sakura's heart beat which was moving steadily now raced with anxiousness, and her hands were tracing small patterns against my hips and back, and I couldn't remove her head from my shoulder.

"I'm so jealous of him..."

"H-huh?"

To say the least, I was afraid of what was going to happen next. Her head raised, but her eyes were fluttered shut, and almost like slow motion I was watching her lips pucker slightly and move in, move in to kiss me.

Kiss me?

I placed a firm grip back on her, and averted my gaze. "Sakura…"

She released me. She was crying. "All this time, all this time I was doing this for you. Kiba's right, you do deserve better than what you're settling for, but I'm still in second place!"

I didn't say anything, and I think that's what killed her the most. But how could it? I'm not a lesbian; I'm not attracted to Sakura. So how could she ever be attracted to me?

All this time?

_Hey, Hina-chan, let's go to sleep together!_

No.

_Wash my back for me, Hina-chan._

No way…

_I'll protect you always, Hina-chan!_

All this time, Sakura?

_Hina-chan, I love you!_

"Sakura, that's not—"I tried to speak, but she ran upstairs, and part of me thought she expected me to follow her. But I can't, not now. It's like I've just broken two hearts in one day, and no one's noticed my own heart except me.

I put on my shoes. It was a bad idea to come here. I was going to say goodbye to Sakura, but then her telephone rang. I let it go for five rings before I realized Sakura wasn't going to pick it up upstairs, so I answered it, and prayed to the gods it wasn't Ino.

"H-Hello?"

"Hinata? Is that you?" Neji? Then it hit me. No one knew where I was yet, did they?

My day is just getting better and better.

"Uh, y-yeah, it's me, I'm just leaving Sakura's now, I'm sorry I left. You see what happened was—"

Neji interrupted me. "It doesn't matter what I think. Your father's looking for you; you have to come home now."

I gulped. "My…father?"

In the back of my mind I imagined Neji nodded along, with sadness in his eyes, some sort of sympathy for me.

"Yes. It's seems…he's found out about a few things we've been keeping a secret."

I blinked twice, then slammed the phone down and bolted out of Sakura's house as fast as my feet could travel. There were only two people my father could've used to found out anything about my issues and one of those people are going to be too busy with a pinkette.

The other, was waiting for me at home.


	10. Because Only I Can Change Me

_Beautiful People_

_Chapter 10: Because Only I Can Change Me_

_Beta: beta'd by strawberries and napkins_

_Dear Sakura,_

_This is so unfair! My handwriting seems pretty sloppy right now, but that's okay. I need to be sloppy right now, to be angry, and to be sad. All at once, because no one else can handle me. No one else can handle me._

_I'm so angry right now. I can tell you, when I got home to see my father, I expected him to rant and rave. Neji was nowhere in sight when I walked to my father's corridors. I knocked twice._

"_Come in," he said to me. I slid the door open, stepped inside and tried not to marvel at the things I haven't seen since I was a young child. The room was spacious, so I tried to put a good amount of distance between us. He had stared at me with this blank, and…almost cold face. Just thinking about now makes me shiver._

_My head was bowed the whole time; I didn't want to look at him then. He asked me why I've been skipping meals; I told him that I've been feeling ill. He asked me why I haven't been taking missions. I told him that I did not feel my skills were of "adequate" measures to take more missions._

_I wanted to tell him that I'm an emotional wreck, but I'll save the one for later._

_Then he cleared his throat and said in his deepest voice, filled with contempt of some kind. "You've left the premises last night without notifying anyone. Not Neji, Hanabi, or me."_

_I started to apologize, but he kept going like I wasn't saying anything. He said that I've been violating my freedom rules, and that I would be punished for my bold actions. I think then he was looking at my hair. Some part of me wanted to argue that my hair has been cut this way for weeks, and he hasn't bothered to notice, but I bit my tongue._

_Then he starts talking some more, __and I wasn't really paying attention__ to anything he says until he said that he sought to Neji for information on my "well-being"._

_In other words__, __Sakura, he told Neji to tell on me._

_I tried for the defense first, argued that if he needed to know something he should've come to me first, and not Neji. I was talking so much because I was afraid of what he was going to say that I didn't even realize I'd been hit until I was sprawled out on the floor and looking up into my father's angry eyes._

_

* * *

  
_

"You're a lying daughter, _my _lying daughter**,**" he spat angrily, and flecks of saliva were flung unto my face, but I did nothing to remove it. I scrambled to sit up again, and my cheek was burning. I was sure it was probably a stinging red.

"This entire time you've been lying to your family, dating a demon, and…and…selling drugs?" His voice turned into a harsh whisper. My heart broke. The worst thing in the world, to have my secret out and hanging for the entire world to see. I felt scared, ashamed, and completely worthless.

He was snarling like an animal at me. My own father couldn't bear to look at me. "How long?"

"How long what?" I murmured, with my head bowed in respect. My father didn't answer right away so I assumed he meant how long have I been dating Naruto and not telling him about it. "About five months."

He nearly jumped out of his seat again. "You're a disgrace. If anyone found out about this there wouldn't be a chance in hell you'd get to rule over the Hyuuga clan. You're a liar and a crook, and until you've learned your lesson I'm sending you away."

I shot up from my seat. "Sending me away? Father, it was a long time ago!"

"No, you _want _it to be a long time ago. It's as real and as serious to you as it is to me, hearing it five months later. Selfish child, you have no respect. Call it an assignment if you will. I have notified Tsunade-sama of your departure and you will leave immediately and pack only the essentials. A partner will be awaiting you at the gate with the mission scroll." He sounded hurt. For a split second I could've sworn I saw something like sadness in his eyes, before they hardened over and I couldn't see anything.

My eyes began to water. "But―"

He turned his head away from me, and shook it like a person would do, disgusted with what they saw.

I walked out of there briskly with my head hung low. It was over for me.

* * *

_Thinking about it right now, I've started crying, and now I've gotten your pages all wet. God, I feel so stupid. It wasn't something that everyone was supposed to know, and it wasn't a full time thing, I only did it when I had to, when I needed to. Noone else was supposed to find out about it. But now that my father knows, I don't know what to say anymore. The news could've spread, or he could've kept it quiet._

_No one will look at me the same again. I'm panicking. Damnit, I think I've been crying a bit too loudly. I'll have to get quiet. Hold on._

…_._

_Okay, I had to wipe my face. Sakura, to be honest, I didn't think that he would never have found out. He probably would have, and he probably would've gotten angry. Any parent would get angry finding out their child sold drugs at one point in their lives. I'm not even that surprised when he told me he was sending me away, because that's what my father did. When he was angry with you, he either beat you or sent you away. This isn't a mission; this is just a way for him to be rid of me until he's ready to see me again._

_I can accept that though. Because this is my fault. What I couldn't accept was the look in his eyes, the hateful and spiteful look that made my skin crawl and made me want to _die…

* * *

I packed, and I did it slowly so I can savor any time that maybe Neji might show up and apologize? But even after everything was packed and all my equipment was prepared and I changed into more suitable clothes, he still hadn't knocked on my door.

I started to cry. Everything was going wrong; Kiba hated me, Sakura loves me too much, and Sasuke and Naruto are pretending like I don't even exist. Kiba said that I was making excuses because I didn't want to accept that Naruto left me because of me.

Well, I wish he had known the truth, and maybe he wouldn't have blamed me. But now that I'm wiping my eyes and I'm staring at my face in my bathroom mirror, maybe _I_ should be blaming me. Sasuke would never let Naruto see him with his eyes puffy, hair in disarray, and looking as pale as a ghost. I looked like that often, and I still do now. I look so…ugly!

I smashed that mirror with my fist, and kept punching it. It's my fault that I tried to save him, my fault I didn't just turn lesbian and have been happy, it's my fault I trusted someone who was only trying to get ahead, my fault, my fault, my fault!

The stinging of my bleeding knuckles didn't even stop me, I kept going until someone grabbed me, but I already knew who it was. I was thrashing in Neji's strong grip. There was no way in hell I was going to make it easy on him, not like he did to me.

* * *

_He's such a liar! I can't believe I trusted him, Sakura. Sometimes, I still can't believe what just happened. Everything was going great, and now, things have come to a complete halt. He went on and on about how he was scared of where I was, and that when he went to my father looking for me, he was trapped by him. That he had to tell what was going on._

_I gave him a well-deserved slap. Then I said 'you didn't have to tell him everything.' We argued some more, about everything. I must've lost my mind because when I grabbed my traveling bag, and turned around my whole room was trashed. And he was just standing there, mirroring the swelling cheek. I told him I hated him. He said that I _didn't _that I was just angry, and that h__e'd__ be waiting for when I get back._

_His eyes looked remorseful. But he's not sorry, he's sorry that I have to leave because of what he's done. I know that he isn't sorry he told on me. He probably wanted to do it, wanted to hurt me. Just like everyone else does. Right? So I left without saying anything else, right out the door. And no one said goodbye to me._

_I tried to hurry, but t was a bit difficult to bandage my hand while jogging, considering I spent so much time arguing with Neji or something that wasn't going to change, it was past noon. Some part of me was pretty upset that the sun wasn't setting anytime soon because if I looked as bad as I felt, well then…I think we all get the idea._

_Oh, this is the best part, Sakura. My mission partner?_

_Uchiha Sasuke._

_Yeah, you heard me. Well, you saw what I wrote. The Uchiha Sasuke, waiting for me at the gate with the deepest scowl on his face which turned into a snarl when he saw me. Yeah, buddy. I didn't expect you see you either._

_

* * *

  
_

"Are you kidding me?" he said and looked around like people were supposed to jump out of the bushes and yell 'surprise'. He looked me up and down with disgust and now I realize that I really care about what he thinks of me. Stupid, I know. But I did care, and I cared so much that I started trying to straighten out my hair when he looked down to dig into his travel bag. He tossed a scroll at me. Oh yeah, the mission description. I started reading it out loud.

"Mission Rank, B. Undercover rouge ninjas stolen ANBU documents of criminal believed to be traveling with them. No other identity known except one is Kekkei Genkai user."

I looked up at him, dumbfounded. "Why did they make us a double-team then?" He shrugged his shoulders, obviously ready to get moving.

"Because we're Kekkei Genkai users."

I wasn't done though. I wrapped up the scroll and handed it back to him. "Why not Neji then?"

"Because _your _father requested that it you take the mission." My face must've changed because all of a sudden he smirked at me, like he had already known my answer before he even asked the question.

I bowed my head, and pushed past him. "Let's go already, we're losing daylight." I started moving, but I could feel his presence behind me, dark and disturbing. My stomach coiled in disgust. How much more of this could I take?

* * *

_We only made about thirty miles heading eastward, even with our chakra boosts. I guess we were both pretty tired, which is leaving me to believe that something happened between him and Naruto which is why he accepted the job in the first place. I could tell, because if everything was fine then he wouldn't have willingly accepted to chase some baddies all across the Konoha forest, and willingly done it with me._

_He wanted something from me, something that I'm not sure I could give him. I mean, look at me, an ugly mess laying less than four feet from the one who took my happiness away. Even looking at him now, all coiled up tightly beneath his sleeping bag; when he was sleeping he looked almost…peaceful. He even snores softly._

_Oh god, Sakura. Kill me now. How was I ever supposed to compare to that? I snore like a cow. No wonder Naruto left me. And now that fact is going to be waving in front of my face for however long this takes, and no one even wants me to come back._

_I've never felt so _alone_._

_Hinata_

_

* * *

_

_So as too not ruin the angsty moment, I'll quietly ask you the reader to review this chapter._

_V_

_V_

_V_


	11. And I Cannot Change the Past

Beautiful People

Chapter 11: But I Cannot Change the Past

Beta: beta'd by strawberries and napkins

...

_Dear Sakura,_

_This is infuriating! I can't do this, how can Naruto do it! All he does it nitpick and comment on every single thing that I do!! Like, 'hurry up, you're slowing us down' or 'I can still sense your chakra, manage it better before you get us killed.' And I don't even want to talk about his snide comments about my messy hair or that I didn't set up camp properly. At the same time, I want to punch him and yell at him, but at the same time, I feel like crying. He hates me so much, and I can't even defend myself. Could this trip have gotten any longer?_

_But at the same time, I'm ashamed to have said that I'm relieved to be out of Konoha since there were so many things running around my head, and while granted I'll have to deal with these in the company of Uchiha, I get more time to think. And I need to think, because thinking keeps me from crying. Thinking keeps me from starting a pointless argument with Sasuke in which he'll probably win anyway, so what's the point in that? But I can tell he wants me to, he wants me to get mad so I'll say something I'll regret. What is he expecting, a confession, some hidden truths, Naruto's past? No way. My plan is to get away Sakura; all I need to do is get away for awhile._

_

* * *

  
_

Great, it's time for a break and I'm so happy for it because we've been moving since morning without rests or breakfast. Our job was simple, catch a few thieves who infiltrated our database and stole some blueprints for a few machines and headed through the forest and into the outskirts of Konoha, most of the farming is done there. I couldn't even help but think about that girl I met in the parlor, and where she would be there. I asked Sasuke what he thought the people were like there but he gave me a look so I gave up on talking to him.

That was about seven hours ago. Now we're planning on resting, because honestly, these thieves are amateurs at everything. The traps were mediocre, and they failed trying to run us around the forest in circles because Sasuke's smarter than that. They couldn't fool my eyes either, because they had a hard time covering up chakra tracks after setting up a trap so I knew where they were heading. But they managed to cover a lot of ground before we were on their track so I guess I'm still wondering what their abilities are.

I looked around for any signs. Sasuke wasn't around, almost insisted that he'd go out for firewood and that I set up the tiny camp and a few ninja traps around our area. We were hiding out on the rocky embankment of the forest, near the irrigation river. It was simple work, incredibly easy and I'm getting frustrated because I'm bored. Even my talking to myself wasn't satisfying me enough. I guess I wanted to get Sasuke to talk as much as he wanted me to talk too, and now we're just seeing who will crack first.

But let me tell you, Sasuke's good at this game. I doubt I'll make it far.

For now however, I chose to relax while he worked. Whatever. I peeled off my stinky shoes and sat by the nearby stream, dipping my feet in and I moaned out loud. My feet ached so badly from running and all of a sudden I felt very sweaty and sticky. Don't worry though, he'll point it out to me eventually I bet.

As I played around in the water a bit, I started thinking about Sakura. We used to go skinny dipping at night all the time when I couldn't sleep. Even thinking about it now doesn't bother me, the fact that she's into me is really flattering and I'm still praying God will change his mind and make me a happy lesbian. But I just can't, and when I get back I will tell her that. But I'm staying her friend, because she's my best friend and I need her. I'm always going to need her, whether she loves me or not won't change that.

I just wished I could've said that then.

Then I thought about Neji, and wanted to get angry but I couldn't. When people say they were only looking out for your best interest, it's usually bullshit. But Neji doesn't bullshit, so I know it must've been difficult for him to talk about my past like that. Even I'm not comfortable doing that yet. And technically it's not a "past"; it's what happened awhile ago when I was in a bad relationship. So I made a few bad choices that impact the way I act now, I never thought it would be permanent. And I never figured that I could wake up and be sad. You can't _wake up_ and be sad. But that's me. I wake up, and I feel sad.

I buried my toes in the sandy gravel below the water. It feels really good, so much so that I still feel like I don't deserve it.

"Is this your idea of keeping watch?"

Oh shit, he's back. I jumped and opened my mouth, but he didn't even regard what I was going to say and started arranging the firewood, and then lit it. I wanted to ask why, the sun hadn't set yet and it was still plenty warm but I won't because I'm not starting an argument. So I sighed and plucked my wet feet out of the water, but I won't put my shoes on just yet because I hate when the gravel on my shoes mixes with my damp feet. It's the most uncomfortable way when you're trying to keep up with Sasuke.

I made my way over to him, took a faraway seat, and explained where the traps where and how to avoid them, all the clues I found. I'll let him do the rest, since it shouldn't take us long to get the blueprints back and go back home.

Home, to Konoha. I shivered unconsciously.

"The water feels pretty good, if you're tired…" I trailed off, because now he's staring at me intently like he's trying to see if I'm messing with him, but I wasn't.

He snorted. "I would, but you can't seem to be able of keeping watch anyway." Oh god, I want to claw his eyes out. I averted my gaze.

"I'll keep watch this time, if you want to―"

"I don't."

"Okay, fine." Jeez, I get he has a problem with me but now it's just getting ridiculous. Will it stay this way throughout the entire trip?

He left me by the fire and took my sebon needles to go fishing. I wanted to remind him that there probably wouldn't be fish in the stream, but it's just like Sasuke's nature to miraculously fish out of an irrigation stream. They were pretty fair-sized too. I'm glad I didn't say anything. Instead, I curled up by the fire and wrapped my arms around my knees. Times like this, when I'm not thinking and I'm not talking, I'd be crying. I don't even know why I cry anymore, but I want to real bad. I want to cry because I'm thinking about how unfair it is for Naruto to be with something like _that._

I want to cry because I don't see why I couldn't measure up to that. So instead I closed my eyes and laid on my back, ignoring anything that wasn't the sky.

Mm, the fish smells good; I'm actually pretty hungry since―

"The trap!" I jumped up to my feet, Sasuke was quick on his too and I took the lead into the shrub. This trap was chakra activation, good for crossing ninjas, or chakra inscribed letters incase they're communicating with each other somehow. There was also a regular bear trap, just in case.

I activated my Byakugan and rushed in, without thinking. It was a dumb mistake.

"Slow down," Sasuke called out from behind me, and instinctively I stopped, but it was too late because they set up a counter trap, and I was caught in it. In an instant, I was dodging all types of kunai and shuriken, but I could see it. The chakra signature was facing south and was enough for me to say it was a person's, so I kept going. Sasuke was already protecting me.

I was searching for another sign, anything. But before I knew it, I was being yanked upwards into the tree by the very bear trap I had set for another person and I wanted to slap myself when I saw the incredulous look on Sasuke's face, like he couldn't believe what I couldn't believe. I was being really foolish. Lucky for me though, he saved me, but it did its damage and my left foot took a good scraping.

He cut it swiftly and caught me in his arms when I fell; staring at me like I was the dumbest person he's ever seen. Now I know why Naruto gets angry at him all the time, the look he's giving me is grating on my nerves, but my foot throbbing and bleeding was calling a bit louder. I smiled wistfully and thanked him.

He shook his head, but didn't let me go. Sasuke was carrying me back. I was thankful.

But I've never wanted to cry more than I've wanted to cry right then. I was being so stupid, and I was ashamed that he saved me.

That he _had _to save me.

* * *

The rest of the evening was pretty awkward, I insisted on treating myself even though he kept calling me and idiot up and down for even attempting that, but I'm not sure if I regret doing it. My foot is fine, a bit sore, but some resting overnight and I should be fine tomorrow. The point is I got the chakra signatures, and we know that there are four of them, but only two are users. I don't regret seeing the look on Sasuke's face when I read off the information. That was the highlight of my day. Oh, well, that and the fish. That was pretty tasty too.

After that, I told Sasuke that I'd take watch first so he could get some early sleep and for once I'm glad he didn't have any kind of weird remark to say to me. It was pretty obvious he was overexerting himself and when I went back inside to fetch my journal, he had already fallen asleep without even taking his shoes off or tucking in. So I was careful, and I did it for him. I don't know why, I guess…maybe I'm just hoping that a good favor will come my way if I'm nice to him. Maybe it already did, considering that I haven't lost a foot today.

I couldn't even thank him, it was too hard. But now I do feel a bit guilty and I doubt that someone will come by if I sat by him and wrote in my journal for awhile, besides, my foot was still shooting pain up my leg. So I did, but I had to be very quiet.

* * *

_Oh, gosh. I had almost forgotten that I started writing to you early this morning, trying to catch my peace before Sasuke woke up but he's an early bird. And not a morning person. Naruto was a great morning person…_

_Gah. I'm doing it again; thinking about beautiful Naruto is, in everything. Looking at Sasuke makes me think that he doesn't deserve being around someone who is so outstandingly beautiful. But when Sasuke sleeps…_

_My god, when Sasuke is sleeping he looks like an angel sent from Earth and every detail going on in his head is on his face and it's breathtaking. Sometimes even the most despicable of people can be beautiful, I'm learning. Ugly is only an adjective, and I think I've been using it on the wrong people. Maybe I should stop using it on Sasuke and use it on me, since it probably accurately describes my situation, the way I handle my friends…_

_My _relationships…

_I keep thinking about it because Sasuke in front of me, like a constant reminder that you get sick of. But I won't do anything against him because tonight he saved me, even if it wasn't completely heroic or anything. He didn't have to save me._

_Oh my god. He didn't _have_ to save me._

_He _wanted_ to save me._

_My ears are ringing, and now my ears are burning and I know I want to cry now, because I'm such an idiot and my personality is disgusting or trying to get angry at Sasuke when he saved my life. I wish that I wasn't so stupid that I'd have fallen for my own trick. I feel sick. Sick with myself. Even calling myself every name in the book won't save me from this. Am I going to die ignorant and alone?_

_Please, god. Don't let me die ignorant and alone. I'm losing everything except my life._

_Shit, I'm starting to cry. This entry wasn't supposed to be long anyway, I just wanted to tell you that although Sasuke is unknowingly suffocating me, he's useful and I'm thankful for him. So thankful. Even if it's information he wants, because I know he wants to learn about what Naruto and I do, or did, and what was going on when he wasn't here. How Naruto was. Why he is the way he is now. I don't have the courage I need, and I honestly believe that I'm envious of Sasuke and I'm fighting with myself not to want to hate him. I should hate him, if he hadn't have come back my sacrifices would've meant something, that my beauty wouldn't have been fictional._

_But I'm lying. Sasuke's perfect, and I mean that the way perfect is supposed to be applied to a person._

_There are so many things that I want from myself, and I don't think I can find my own closure. It's deeper than Sasuke and I, Sakura and I, Neji and I, and probably not even Naruto and I._

_It's about me. Only I can change me. But I'll never be able to change the past._

_Hinata_

_

* * *

  
_

By then, I couldn't move until I had stopped crying, so I tried to be as silent as possible and let out as many tears as my eyes would allow before I would leave. I was staring hard at my journal, and I missed Sakura so much. I miss her so much, I do. I'm thinking that she has what I need, and maybe that's why I was so drawn to her.

It's all my thoughts anyway. I started to move, tucked my journal away in my hiding spot and almost left but then I felt the squeeze of warm fingers around my wrist.

"Sasu―" I cut myself short and looked at him, but he wasn't awake. There was a gleam of sweat on his forehead and his eyebrows were knit together. He was blushing, but I can't tell if it was some erotic dream or some nightmare. The image of Naruto and Sasuke rubbing together, touching, kissing, and all in passion under a few sheets was enough to make my stomach swim and I tried to snatch my arm away but his grip tightened.

"Naruto, Naruto, Naruto…" I stopped fighting. His murmurs were slick and heavy, and now I'm almost sure he's imagining lots of things I don't want to picture myself.

"Beautiful, so beautiful. Save you…let me…you…I will…" Oh god, my heart sank. Who was he talking about?

Me?

Or is it still Naruto?

But why do I wish it was me he was talking about? I waited until he stopped chanting Naruto's name and the broken sentences died. Then his grip loosened again and I was careful to pry my fingers out this time and I managed to crawl out of there, but not before he left me a parting gift.

"You…tell me…naruto…why…need you…" He rolled over in his sheet and I could feel the tension rise out of my chest because he had fallen back into a deep sleep.

I wonder if he missed Naruto the way I missed Sakura.

I wonder if he needed something he didn't have either, and now I'm wondering if the word perfect could ever be applied to anyone.

But definitely not to people like me.

* * *

It really took a lot to do this, because while I was writing it, I didn't have much inspiration so I had to bring back some old memories of broken friendships and while I wrote this I even started to cry alittle, so my hopes are that I've put some life into Hinata's character. Thank you very much for reading and please review.


	12. But Trust Me, Sasuke

Beautiful People

Chapter 12: Somehow I'll Trust You'll Make Me, Sasuke

Beta: beta'd by strawberries and napkins

...

Sasuke had the early morning shift, so when he was shaking my shoulder for me to wake up, it took me a moment to realize that it was too bright outside for it to have been at least five in the morning. He had let me sleep in, and yet when I was about to mention it, he sent me a silent glare that shut me up.

I suppose this is his way of being nice to me, so for the sake of us at least getting along, I didn't say anything.

When we traveled we hardly ever took more than ten-minute breaks, so I doubted that I'd have any time to write in my journal. But the sun was bright, the air was clear, and I could tell we were getting closer to our targets because their techniques were getting sloppier. Their tracks were becoming easier and easier to spot, so it probably meant that we were gaining the distance we had lost.

When I told Sasuke this, he merely grunted at me, but then he made the mistake of stepping too hard on a weak branch and began skyrocketing downwards fast, and without a sound. I stepped down as fast I could, and caught him in my arms right before he hit the ground.

Wow…he's so…light. I blinked and almost marveled at how tiny his body really was for a boy.

And he had his eyes pressed tight together, and it took him a moment to stop bracing for the fall that didn't come. When he opened his eyes and saw me looking over him, I might have imagined he was blushing when he snatched himself right out of my arms.

"Are you alright?" I murmured and reached out to touch him and I guess it was too soon because he slapped my hand away.

He growled back at me. "Don't touch me. I'm fine."

"Why do you always have to be such a jerk? I was trying to help you!" I snapped and cradled my stinging arm. My eyes began to sting, but I could tell I wasn't about to cry. I was feeling the beginning of something dangerous, like my body was already warning me to disable the conflict, but I couldn't stop.

"Ever since this whole thing started you've been acting like an asshole and I haven't even done anything, just grow up! And while we're at it, you need to stop being so mean to me just because I've dated Naruto before you!"

I could see his body tense and his teeth were clenching behind his jaw. My heart stopped. I was really doing this.

"Whatever happened between Naruto and I is between us! Not you! So stop acting like a baby and get over the fact that what we had was spec-"

_Ouch._

He slapped me across my left cheek so hard that my body even moved along with the swing. It hurt badly, but I wasn't crying. I turned back at him and glared. He wasn't even scowling. He looked impassive, like it was nothing.

"Don't you ever try to compare me to Naruto and you, you're nothing." He was growling at me and his eyes seemed to glow dangerously in the sunlight. In the middle of the forest ground, it seemed dumb to fight like this. I put my good hand to my stinging cheek and the anger swarmed right through my heart.

I activated my Byakugan. "That'll be the last time you'll hit me and get away with it."

Then I pounced, and tackled him by the torso, effectively knocking the wind out of him and hurriedly hit two points in his arms, disabling them long enough for me to return the favor by slapping his cheek. He winced and kicked me in the stomach, sending me on my back. He pulled out a kunai, so I did the same.

We took turns, biting, scratching, and using our weapons, our Kekkai Genkai. It was like a real fight. I could feel myself bruising but I wasn't bleeding yet. It was the same for him, and yet a part of me was so satisfied seeing the purpling tinge underneath his eye.

My footwork was quicker than his, and as soon as I was able to trip him with my feet, I pounced on his body, sending him crashing down on his back. With my kunai raised above his head, he recognized his defeat. I had finally won.

"So," he snarled at me with a hard stare, "what the hell are you waiting for?"

I paused, and I kept staring right into his bottomless eyes, searching for something, anything. But I couldn't find it. No fear, no doubt, not even anger. There was no encouragement for me to finish, and nothing inside of me wanted this.

"I…"

"What? Shouldn't you be mad? I took Naruto from you, didn't I? You're alone now, you're unhappy."

He's right. I am alone, and I am unhappy. I should want to hurt him, and make him feel the same way I do but…

But…

"It's not your fault…that I'm like this..." I whispered, and I slumped right against his chest and cried, kunai totally forgotten. I think, for the first time, I was crying for someone other than myself. And I'm not saying that Sasuke deserves my pity. But I know it's not easy being with Naruto, and I haven't been making it any easier. But I don't know how to tell him that. But when I felt his limp arms around my shoulders, I could tell that he'll be patient enough for me.

"Get off me before you drip snot on my clothes…" he murmured and I nodded and lifted myself off of him.

He waited until I got my wits together and then grabbed my arm, and together we walked silently at the bottom of the forest until the end of it, and I had to gasp at the fact that we were less than a mile away from this old village, where even in late afternoon was almost completely deserted. There were grain fields everywhere.

"Stay at an i-inn for the night?" I offered, and for the first time, Sasuke had nodded his head limply and started moving.

* * *

My Byakugan had worked well, and I had already grown accustomed to the chakra signature. They were definitely in the town, but it was late, and Sasuke and I were clearly exhausted. I thanked Sakura for the few lessons she had given me in medical jutsu, because it was enough to heal both Sasuke and I. But I was tired and it was hard to crawl into the cot and wait patiently for Sasuke to fall asleep before I began to write.

I imagined what I would've written, about the fight and how somehow I feel closer to Sasuke than I've ever felt closer to anyone, maybe even Sakura. Because even though Sakura went through my troubles with me, Sasuke was experiencing them now, so we understand each other. Even though it hasn't been said, we understand.

But the funny part is, I didn't get a chance to write that day at all because Sasuke had reverted back to his dream-talking, and grabbed my loose hand, holding it close. I couldn't tell if he was imagining Naruto, or Sakura, or even me, but he needed support.

So I intertwined our fingers together and finally allowed myself to go to sleep because, honestly, I needed the support too.

* * *

Sorry, I kinda finished this in a rush, so if you find any mistakes, drop a review and let me know so I can fix it, ahaha. Sorry if I've been updating late, midterms have yet again knocked my off my usual, and I just got kicked out of my home, so I'm moving in with my grandma. Give me time, I'll update, I swear! Oh and please, don't yell at me, this is still a yaoi, there will be NO SASUHINA. Uh, yeah, so please review!


	13. And Let Me Make You

Beautiful People

Chapter 13: So Let Me Make You

Beta: beta'd by strawberries and napkins

...

I didn't sleep well and had a bad dream. Well, not exactly a bad dream, but I had envision that I was being tied down in a chair and forced to watch Naruto and Sasuke fool around on the same bed, in the same room that I recognized too well. The dream was so startlingly real that when I woke up and found that our fingers were still entwined with each other, my body jerked instinctively, and then I woke him up.

"Sorry, I just didn't—"

Sasuke snatched his hand away as he sat up, but I didn't miss the warmth. I sat up, yawned, and then stretched out my sore limbs, watching Sasuke gather his clothing and supplies and leave the room, probably to use the bathhouse. That was fine, because I wanted to write in my journal for a minute. I waited until I couldn't hear his footsteps, and then I leaned over and grabbed my bag, searching for the tiny leathery book. It felt cold between my fingers and the smell of old paper tickled my nose, but I was glad to be writing again.

* * *

_Dear Sakura,_

_This may or may not be our fourth day that we've been traveling together and recently things between Sasuke and I have become more…manageable. Granted, we did have to pound some sense into each other, but I believe that through Naruto we'll just have to learn to live with each other. Of course, we're not holding hands and picking flowers but he's not too mean to my anymore, and that much I can deal with. I'm not even all that comfortable with him yet, because I can still feel the questions coming. He'll ask me about Naruto when he wasn't here, the other people involved, the things he did back and forth, and probably what I had to do with them. People always seem to overreact, but I don't. It's just something that happened, and it's in the past. What's so wrong with that?_

_And besides that, I'm still feeling my inferiority complex when it comes to Sasuke. Even while dreaming, I was having these crazy images of him bent over and Naruto--_

_

* * *

  
_

The door swung open suddenly, and a half naked and dripping wet Sasuke paraded inside, not even giving me enough time to shut my journal close and shield it with the sleeves of my sleeping gown. It didn't get past him though, because he raised his eyebrow at my suspicious behavior, but thankfully he didn't say anything about it.

Instead, I waited until he came inside and was bent over his bag looking for his clothing so I could stash the journal away again. Then I turned to him.

"Should I leave the room?"

"Doesn't matter."

He had already stripped himself of his bathrobe, and I found myself averting my gaze because I didn't want to look anyway. But while him not being bothered with me watching him be naked did bother me, because, I was still a girl wasn't I? Still, he was right because I wasn't interested in any part of Sasuke, and for once I'm sure that feeling was mutual.

"I overheard some information. The thieves are planning to sell the scroll for money." I couldn't see whether he was finished already, I could only hear the sound of Velcro strapping various hidden weapons to his body.

I frowned. "They went through all that trouble to steal it and they weren't going to use it themselves?"

There was more shuffling behind me and waited until it stopped before I deemed it safe to turn around again. It was. He was already rolling up our futons.

"It doesn't matter. Today is one of their busiest market days, and it ends by sundown. That's how much time we have to find them before we lose it for good."

I could feel my heart race at the challenge, and recognized the mischievous glint in Sasuke's onyx eyes. For the first time, I actually think we were able to bond over something. I smiled and gathered my things.

"Give me ten minutes and then we'll get moving."

Busy was an understatement to how crowded the market streets were and it wasn't even midday. But it was extremely interesting and saddening at the same time. This whole town was in shambles, and the people's clothing were very old and worn-looking. Everyone was tan, on every inch of their bodies and I could tell it was affecting Sasuke when I caught him gazing too long at a small tan, blonde child.

I had to admit it too, I was thinking about Naruto a lot. But it was really funny to watch all the girls stop and stare at Sasuke's pale, alabaster white skin and perfect face while he was walking beside me. I did start to get self-conscious of the looks the girls were throwing me so I suddenly felt the need to start talking.

"So…have you, sent word of your condition to Naruto?" I mentally kicked myself for including Naruto in the sentence.

He shot me an annoyed look that almost said he was going to retort with something rhetorical like 'Have you?' but then he get sighed loudly. "I don't send reports until the mission is done. He knows that."

I nodded numbly as we continued to walk on; all the while I kept my eyes peeled for anyone who looked shady or mysterious, and more specifically, the chakra we had run into in the forest. But there was nothing, nothing but monotone civilians and the everlasting call of different items to buy.

Sasuke was sneaking glances at me as we walked. "…You don't have to avoid talking about Naruto like you're afraid."

"I'm not afraid…of you." I rolled my eyes when he nudged me with his elbow in the arm.

"Then don't act like it."

I smiled and opened my mouth to say something but the rumble of my belly cut me off. I blushed when Sasuke smirked and avoided his gaze, marching myself to the nearest stand covered with ruby-glowing apples.

"How many?" The older woman smiled at me, but I could barely see her over the apples. I glanced back at Sasuke who was impatiently waiting for me.

"Two." I dug around in my pocket for some change. Then it hit me. "These apples, where do they come from?"

She gave me a confused look so I tried again. "I mean, where are they grown, are they grown here locally?" She nodded and pointed to the west. "There's an apple tree grove on the outskirts, we get good discounts here." I nodded vigorously and snatched two apples from the top, tossing some coins her way in thanks.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at my overexcited behavior when I skipped back towards him. "What are you doing?"

I tossed the apple into his hands, and he bit into it gently. "The apple grove, we're going to the apple grove. That's where we'll find them, I know it."

"How?" His voice was muffled.

"Because these apples are fresh, meaning they've just been delivered here, so those people have gone back to the grove! They wouldn't sell our secrets out in the open like this, they'd have to do it where no one would be around."

Sasuke didn't look the least bit convinced. "And how would you know about this?"

I flinched and had to bite down into my apple hard just to avoid the rampant flashbacks, but hopefully he didn't ask any other questions as I chewed and swallowed.

"Just trust me, Sasuke. I have a good feeling about this."

"You better," he growled at me, showing me aside as we started weaving through the mass of people." I don't have any more time to waste on your dumb ideas."

Moving quickly, we soon reached a plane covered with apple trees that were as tall as Sasuke and I. We couldn't find any no other people around, so we camped up in their tool shed, waiting for someone to come by. I knew that they were come though; before the sun went down I knew that someone would be here, so I just kept reassuring Sasuke of my plan.

He fell asleep quickly once we switched shifts, but I was so afraid that he'd wake up that I must've been listening for signs for at least twenty minutes. But when I was sure, I grabbed his hand to relax him and began writing again.

* * *

_--Oh, sorry about the delay. The last sentence was ridiculous anyway; I was just being paranoid again. I'll admit it; I'm still incredibly jealous of Sasuke and even a bit star-stuck by him. I dunno Sakura, I'm just so thankful that he's not my enemy anymore that it's making me a bit hopeful about coming back to Konoha. It's one less thing to worry about,(semi-colon) of couse, I'll have to face Naruto and once and for all clear all of our hardships, but I don't think I can do that if I'm still in love with him. I doubt I'll ever not be in love with him, but even if it's a bit less I'll be able to do it. Then there's Sakura, who I still want to keep as a best friend. She's the only one I can depend on, that shouldn't change because she has feelings for me. I…feel like there are too many things going on at once sometimes. There's still Ino who hates me, and Neji who I can't even bear to look at. Why is it always me!?_

_And thinking about this along with waiting for a bunch of amateur thieves to show up while waiting around in this dirty shed isn't helping. Neither is Sasuke's sleeping habit of holding hands. It's cute; really, I just don't think he knows that he does it. But I know why he does it. He does it because I remind him of Naruto, and not in the physical sense, but because he and I understand each other through our feelings for Naruto, I think he confuses me for him sometimes._

_I have a bad feeling about that, Sakura. I'm waiting for him to confront me for information so badly it's making my skin crawl. I once remembered a saying that when you're waiting for something bad to happen the way I am, it means that you want it to happen. I just want this mission to end, I don't want that to happen._

_I don't want to explain why I know that these thieves are apple farmers, and why I know they're gonna make the trade in the most barren area when its still light out._

_I really don't wanna do that._

_Hinata_

* * *

I shut the book at the exact moment Sasuke's eyes fluttered open.

"Tired?" I teased gently, but his eyes were focused on my journal that I was clenching in my free hand.

"What's that?" The tone of his voice didn't sound right, and my heart dropped to my stomach at the thought that he may not have been sleeping like I thought he was.  
"Nothing." I said quickly and then raised our entwined hands for him to see. "You wanna explain this?"

He blushed and shoved my hand away, rolling over so he wouldn't have to face me. I sighed happily, glad that for a second at least the attention had been diverted long enough for me to stock it away. The orange sun was setting a beautiful orange glow, and my stomach twisted.

Because I had a feeling that Sasuke would avoid me for only a little while longer.

* * *

Now the mission has taken a new turn, putting Hinata all by herself to complete the rest of it alone! And now, Beautiful People has now become a weekly update thanks to my completed story 7 Deadly Sins. All of my free time is dedicated to you, my lovely readers!

Thanks for reading and please review!


	14. Count my Disbelief

Beautiful People

Chapter 14: Count my Disbelief

Beta: beta'd by strawberries and napkins

...

My dreams were like a cloudless sky, empty and filling. I couldn't feel anything; I was floating in my own dream space like I could stay there forever and ever. But then something twisted in my gut, like a sharp knife that dragged me down from the sky and into reality.

I jumped awake, heaving and looked around. We were still in the barn, hiding out, and it was early morning. The rush of blood was pounding in my ears as I placed a hand over my heart to stop the thumping, I searched frantically for Sasuke. Then I reached for my journal.

It wasn't there.

Panicking, I scrambled out of my sleeping bag and turned the corner, trying to be as light as possible while freaking out, and then, yeah, I found Sasuke.

He was reading my journal. He flinched and snapped the book closed, holding my gaze. Originally, I had always pictured myself tackling whoever I caught reading it and tearing them to bits, but I could just stand there and he was staring right back at me trying really hard not to look guilty.

"Why?" It wasn't a question. The sound of my dead voice even make me flinch, I sounded incredibly harsh.

No, I sounded betrayed.

"I…needed to know. What was Naruto doing before I came that was so bad?" He narrowed his eyes, whispering, as if we still had some common ground to speak on.

I raised my hand calmly, and then brought it quickly across his face effectively knocking my journal out of his hands from the force. His eyes were wide in surprise when he turned back around, placing a hand to his burning cheek.

We glared at each other and then he hit me, effectively starting our fighting all over again, rolling around in dirt, grass, and hay. He hit me really hard in the face and just when I was about to return the favor, someone came in the barn.

Immediately, Sasuke restrained me using his legs and put his dirty hand over my mouth as we waited expectantly, trying to blend in our surroundings on the barn's balcony.

I bit Sasuke's finger hard and smirked at his hiss, and then with a careful foot I was able to draw in my journal again, and then Sasuke and I fought over it some more, quietly rustling around.

"Get off, Uchiha." I growled warningly and shoved him in the ribs. He shoved me back, I just don't think he calculated how hard he did it because before I could keep up I had tumbled off the edge of the balcony and fell on my back.

The stranger gasped and immediately ran to my side. I groaned as my head spun wildly but then I realized what had just happened and forced myself to sit up with eyes open. I had been caught.

"Konoha girl?" The voice murmured beside me. I blinked my eyes open and then tilted my head. It was the girl who ate my parfait a while ago. I had figured she might be living in the same place as this, but why was she in this old barn?

She scratched her head. "Wha-what were ya doing up there? Did ya come for the apples?"

I panicked and looked at Sasuke who shot me a warning glare not to tell her that he was up there too. For the sake of the mission, I didn't. So instead I turned around and nodded.

"Someone told me you were selling them here…" I murmured, averting my gaze and gripped my journal that fell a few inches away from me.

She grabbed my hand and forcefully pulled me to my wobbling feet. "Merchants of the shop, I knew it. Well, don't just stand there, I'll gives ya a tour, sound good?" She hummed with a lax smile and pulled me out of the barn by my wrist. I turned and gave Sasuke the angriest glare I could.

He smirked right back at me and it made me regret that I didn't just blow our cover as a whole. I was still mad about the journal though, but it didn't matter now; my part of the mission was still on.

* * *

Her tour was pretty boring. She told me her name was Lia, and that she had inherited the farm, and her family's apple business, after her father died. The area was incredibly peaceful, with quiet grazing cows and horses, noisy chickens, and apple trees as far as I could see.

We sat underneath a tree once the afternoon sun started heating up the surroundings. I was anxious that Sasuke was going to show up and do something stupid, but even with my Byakugan, I wasn't able to find him. I wondered if he had abandoned me here, but as mad as he could've been, I was sure he wouldn't risk the mission.

She didn't say anything for a while and just stared at me, making me pretty nervous. I didn't get a chance to brush my teeth, change clothes, or even fix my hair. I must've looked a mess.

Then she laughed. "What's that in ya hand?"

I blushed and pushed my journal out of sight. "Oh, that's nothing."

"I have one too," she said suddenly, completely capturing my attention. "A journal, right?"

I nodded slowly. "Yeah…I used to write in it a lot, not so much anymore. Other things became more important." Her eyes got this faraway look that I recognize only because I had seen it a million times.

"Your name's Hinata, right?" I nodded again. "What do you write about?"

"Stuff," I said automatically, not liking the way the conversation was going. I opened my mouth to say something, but the screeching of a bird made us both jump. A large gray bird expanded its huge wings and flew off the tree we sat under and into the cloudless sky.

She laughed again and then sighed, curling her legs up and resting her head on her knees. "Hey, Hinata…have ya ever felt…oh jeez, well, what I mean is...have you ever felt...ugly..sometimes?"

My heart stopped. I didn't say anything and we just stared at each other. I didn't know why she would possibly feel ugly. Thick hair, tan skin and an acne-scarred face…it doesn't make a person ugly. I wanted to tell her it's what's on the inside that can make a person ugly. Secrets, lies, pasts…

I stopped myself and we finally broke eye contact. I don't think I had to say anything for her to understand. She reminded me a lot of Sakura, who I realized I missed a lot.

"Lia…" I started to say, and then my senses went off. I could feel Sasuke hiding out in the tree above us. The first thing I felt is relief, and then a lot of annoyance because it took him so long to show up. Lia looked confused at my prolonged silence. I wish I could continue, but I wasn't going to. Not if Sasuke was around to hear it. So I shook my head.

She laughs, but it is empty and bitter sounding. "You ain't here for my apples, huh?" I didn't say anything and kept my head down. Something poked me in the arm.

I looked up. It's the scroll. "Wha-?"

"Here. Take it and leave, alright?" Her voice is empty and cold, nothing like it had sounded before. The leaves rustle above us, probably Sasuke debating on whether or not to make his entrance. He disguised his chakra, and I couldn't feel him anymore. I sigh and took the scroll, reading the cover.

It was a learning scroll for a four-man self-destructing bomb. That's…suicide, isn't it? Immediately, my mind thought about Konoha, but I didn't think Lia herself was planning some kind of terrorist attack on Konoha. She didn't even look like a ninja, which left me incredibly confused.

When I was about to say something, she started talking but she wasn't talking to me. It felt as if she's talking to me almost…indirectly, like she's looking through me.

"You know, self-beauty is able to be replenished, like one of Mother Nature's gifts, like a tree, or the wind. You can bring it back if you feel like it went away. If something's troubling you, then fix it." She whispers, and I don't say anything because I'm trying to soak in the words, her meaning, and what's she saying.

I think she knows more about me than I do, at this point. I look down at the scroll for some type of answer or hint, and curiously begin to peel at the seal. Something happens, and I scream.

This pungent, black gas pours out of the scroll and cuts off my air supply, suffocating me in a matter of minutes. Everything's gone, in a black puff cloud. I scream again because I can't see anything anymore. I activate my Byakugan but I still can't see. Lia screams and I hear the clashing of metal and before I know it I'm being lifted into the air. I'm gasping to clear my lungs of the smell, but the world is still dark to me. I have no idea what happened to Lia, but I still wasn't inclined to blame her just yet.

"Shit, what the hell would you do that for?" Sasuke swears and wraps his arm around my waist, lifting us both out of there.

I can feel us moving swiftly through something and instinctively I grasp onto Sasuke's arm with my free hand, scared of what I couldn't see. It's the first time I noticed that I still had the scroll clenched tightly between my fingers.

"I can't see," I say over the loud whipping wind. He curses angrily again and grips me tighter. Sasuke begins to slow down, and gradually I can catch my breath and calmly think of how I'm going to get out of this, if I can get out of this.

"It's okay," he says, after a long while, "I've got you."

I sigh. For once, I think I can actually believe him.

* * *

The mission's not over yet, please review and keep checking back for more! Thank you for your support!


	15. Then Add Up Our Strength

Beautiful People

Chapter 15: Then Add Up Our Strength

Beta: beta'd by strawberries and napkins

...

My other senses feel heightened. I can't see anything but blackness, but I can feel the fabric of Sasuke's shirt, I can smell the fresh air that is rapidly filling my nostrils, and I can hear the rustling of the trees as we pass by. I'm jostling back and forth between Sasuke's arms as he carries me, but when I tell him not to travel too far he doesn't respond.

It's frightening not to know where we are. How can I trust Sasuke when not only hours ago he was reading my private journal for information?

The truth is, I can't. But I'm not able to fair much better on my own, so I'll leave it alone for now. My mind starts to wander again and I start to think about what Lia said about being beautiful. Truthfully, her perspective doesn't surprise me because I could have imagined Neji saying the same thing, but it didn't make it less meaningful.

She was right though. I had lots of problems, with lots of people. Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, Neji, Ino, Kiba…they all have their issues that intertwine with mine like a giant bow knot. I know that eventually I'm going to have to fix it and start from the beginning if I ever want to believe that beautiful is a word I can describe to myself.

On the inside...the outside…it's all the same isn't it? Beautiful. It bothers me that I don't truly understand what that means. There's beauty all around me, but I can't even see it. Both metaphorically and literally, I guess.

We finally slow down and Sasuke gently lays me against what I think might be a rock or a log. The sound of rushing water brings back images of the embankment and now I'm angry because he took us so far back that we're halfway back to Konoha.

He places a hand to my forehead suddenly, and I jump. "Your eyes still hurt?" He said with what I think could be a hint of worry.

"I still can't see anything. What was that?" I rub at my eyes painfully and imagine them swollen and red-looking.

"Possibly tear gas. It won't last long." He murmurs and pulls his hand away. I nod and cover my eyes with one hand, remembering the healing jutsu lessons from Sakura as I try them on myself. Immediately, the sensation engulfs my pain and I get a few seconds of relief. It almost feels like the darkness went away, but when I blink and see nothing, I sigh. No, the darkness just went from black to gray.

For the first time since the incident I realize that I'm still clutching my journal. When I pull it to my chest I can hear Sasuke snort and I want to roll my eyes once he speaks.

"That book means that much to you?" I can't figure out what his expression may look like but I'm guessing he's scowling at me.

I snort. "You shouldn't be sounding so arrogant considering you had your nose in my book only hours ago."

He doesn't say anything for a while, and the rushing sound of water makes my stomach crawl with butterflies. I feel vulnerable, weak, and dying to get anywhere else.

"Is everything in it…true?" His voice is hoarse.

I wish I could glare. "Depends on how much you read." I snap, and pull the book closer to me, repeating the process of healing my eyes. It gets easier to blink now, and the burning pain has dulled down to almost nothing. I hope that this won't last long, because I'd rather be talking about our failed mission rather than the contents of my journal.

"Up to your stay with Sakura." I'm imagining Sasuke's eyes avoiding my gaze although I couldn't have seen it anyway. He sounds too doubtful. "Did it really bother you that much, our…"

I sigh. "Not now, Sasuke. We have to deal with the mission first." There is another awkward silence, and then Sasuke breathes harshly through his nose and finally gives up our conversation about my journal. Honestly, I don't think he even has a right to force me to talk about myself.

And when did we even become close enough to talk about things like my self-esteem? These are the kind of things I'd do with Sakura, but definitely not Sasuke. I don't trust him.

He starts to talk again and my mind begins to wander once I close my blind eyes. The other senses…taste, feel, hear, smell...they are overpowering and I wonder what it would be like to be blind permanently. I can paint the picture of where we are all by myself, but it makes my head swim and my stomach boil. I get lightheaded and I can feel myself kneel forward and for safety I toss my journal aside. Sasuke catches me in time, but it's too late.

I heave until I can taste the stomach acid at the base of my throat. It burns, and it hurts in a good way. My vision begins to clear until I can see Sasuke, only in a blurry fashion. I can't tell if he looks pissed or genuinely concerned about my current condition. I don't even have the decency to blush as I try to wipe away any flecks of vomit on the corners of my mouth.

"You should start to get better now," he murmurs in my ear as he helps me upright, but my body feels too heavy. I collapse against the rocky support, gasping for air as Sasuke tries to repeat what he was saying. I'm listening this time, that the scroll was a copy of the original, and directions for Lia to find them. Sasuke did a bit of snooping in Lia's home. The real guy behind it is her brother, and a few penniless men wanting to make a difference, even if they have to take their own lives.

Apparently, Lia's brother hates Konoha, but she doesn't. I'm not sure if Lia knew that trap would've hurt me, but it's pointless to think about it now.

I mention my thoughts to Sasuke who shrugs and reiterates my point. "It doesn't matter. Heal yourself again," he commands. I nod limply and repeat the healing of my eyes, and it gets better. The blur actually goes away and for the first time I can clearly see Sasuke, the crystal-blue river, and the rock I'm leaning against.

I guess I started grinning like an idiot because I can see the corners of Sasuke's mouth twitch upwards. It's enough to make me to tackle him in all of my happiness and excitement, but he stops me halfway.

"Don't do that. You smell." He growled, but I couldn't feel any malice in the sentence. I keep smiling.

"I can actually see you, you grumpy—wait! Sasuke, S-Sasuke, stop that!" He tosses me over his shoulder and while I'm banging my fists against his back he keeps walking and eventually tosses me into the river with a deep chuckle. It was sudden and random, but just what I needed.

I go straight down, and the feeling of rushing water against my dirty fingers and face is so relieving that I'm not even mad. I close my eyes and do a little spin under the water before I come back up with a smile. Sasuke is avoiding my gaze, but I think he might have been smiling too.

For fun, I splash some water in his direction. "Your turn." He pauses for a second, and then he dives in too, only it's gracefully and I feel myself gasp as I watch the raven splice through the water smoothly like he was some type of Poseidon God all the way to where I was. With a strong arm wrapped my floating legs, he pulls me back down under the current.

I can see Sasuke's amused face clearly through all of the bubbles, and it's so nice that I wonder why he doesn't show it more often.

* * *

It's midday, close to sunset when Sasuke and I are finally done with our aquatic battles. He discards of his wet shirt to dry and advises me to do the same, but I don't. It doesn't matter how comfortable Sasuke is around me because he knows I'm not interested in him sexually. I just tell him that I'm not quite as bold as he is.

Instead, I lie on my back and create a big wet puddle in the mushy grass and let the sun do its work, drying my clothes. I close my eyes, and then Sasuke lays down on the opposite of me and makes a loud grunting sound once he gets comfortable. The top of our wet heads are touching and it reminds me of a time when Sakura and I had once done the same thing at a bathhouse…

My eyes widen. I think...that it dawned on me why Sasuke was being so…un-Sasuke like, because he probably read about my relationship with Sakura and I. I'm sure that I've never written about the particular scene of us at the bathhouse but what I do know is that Sasuke is trying to replace her for my sake.

If that's the case, then he lied. He might have read farther that that, and this just re-establishing the fact that Uchiha Sasuke is _untrustworthy._

My heart flutters in the bad way. I don't know if he's sympathizing with me, or empathizing with me, or maybe I just got the whole thing backwards. My emotions are conflicted; I don't know whether to be happy or aggravated.

But the more I think about it, the worse the feelings in my chest and stomach grow. So it comes out, "Stop trying to replace Sakura already." My voice is weak, but there's a resounding tremor in it that makes Sasuke pause before responding.

"I'm not replacing anyone." He gives an extra snort to make me believe him, but of course, I don't. I sit up and open my mouth to speak, but I stop. There's a light, dusting pink across his cheeks that makes all the anger in my heart dissipate. He doesn't have to say anything else. We both know that he was just looking out for me…again. Maybe he wasn't trying to take Sakura's place for my sake; maybe he was just being Sasuke. I smiled.

It must be embarrassing for him, to try to comfort me but it was nice. And then I understood a bit better why Naruto might have been so crazily in love with him.

* * *

I should've known that nothing as good as that would've lasted long. Fortunately, the mission isn't over yet but it looks like our time together is. The directions say that the plotting team is planning to split up. One team is heading to the west Konoha gate, the other to the east.

Sasuke will take the east gate, and I'll be heading to the west. Of course, he doesn't tell me about this until we're too close to splitting up for me to protest. Nighttime has fallen over the forest, and I'm still damp, still cold. All of our supplies were left behind, and all I have is the journal, and soon, not even Sasuke anymore.

The moon is half-full, partially illuminating the path that we walked deliberately slowly. I was sad somehow, this time I finally think that maybe Sasuke and I were getting somewhere. If that had lasted any longer, I might have been come clean and told him what he wanted to know about so badly.

But I know there will be other times for that. The fork in the road grinds our trek to a stop.

I look at him and he looks back at me. His face is expressionless, but it doesn't stop my stomach from churning and my eyes to grow dry. I tackle him into a hug. He grunts loudly, and his body is stiff. I don't expect him to hug me back and he doesn't, I just hold him until he relaxes and his chin rests in my tousled hair. It's the first time I notice how tall he is compared to me.

"B-Baka.." he mutters. I hug his lean frame tightly, and only for a second do I wish he were Sakura instead because the spicy smell of musk and water fills my senses. No, this is Sasuke. I was satisfied with Sasuke.

My voice is low. "I think…there is something I can learn from Lia, from all of this." I feel him exhale harshly into my hair.

"There probably is. Just try not to kill yourself before you figure it out," he smirks and I pull away with a wispy smile. His lips twitch.

"Right back at you! Someone needs to take care of Naruto, and don't forget, you and I still have business." I do my best not to hug him again and we finally part ways. Sasuke goes left. I go right.

After a few steps, I stop and listen to Sasuke's light trekking sounds until he's too far away and I know that it'll be the last time that I'll see of Sasuke until this mission was over.

I know I can manage on my own even without his support. Besides, there _was_ something I need to learn from all of this.

* * *

Now the mission has taken a new turn, putting Hinata all by herself to complete the rest of it alone! And now, Beautiful People has now become a weekly update thanks to my completed story _7 Deadly Sins. _All of my free time is dedicated to you, my lovely readers!

Thanks for reading and please review!


	16. Share My Power With You

Beautiful People

Chapter 16: Share My Power With You

Beta: beta'd by strawberries and napkins

...

I moved all through the night, running from something, anything. It felt like someone was trying to capture me. For once throughout this whole trip, I was scared and more than willing to be cradled in Sasuke's arms. I wished I had my hair to hide behind. All these things I was thinking about, but I know that none of these things would save me, help me, or give me any guidance. In fact, I feel like they are hindering me. I'm traveling on the ground-level, just to keep safe, but it isn't enough.

I've tripped on loose tree branches countless times, because I can't see in the dark, and the sounds of hissing snakes and chirping cicadas are frightening. It's funny, because I've never noticed those things when I was with Sasuke, I was too busy hating him or being jealous or something that included him. It's a stretch to say that I actually miss him. But I've been on solo missions before…

It would be better if I could just admit I miss his company.

The moon is full tonight, but even that isn't helping me see. My eyes still slightly burn. every now and again. My chakra is low, and I know I need to rest. Konoha is very close, although I no longer have my compass or map. It's just something you can feel, when your hometown is this close. I miss the company of the city. I miss everyone's company, actually. It's times like these when you're alone and anything can happen that you miss the people you couldn't stand before. Suddenly, it's not so safe to stay down here, I can hear a low growl of press a bit of chakra into my feet, and head upwards.

I stop and nestle myself on a tree branch, hang one leg over the side and just spend time admiring mother nature and the nightly breeze, trying to calm my pulsating heartbeat. The only thing I have with me is my journal for this kind of thing. But really…for once, no one's holding me responsible for anything, I could blow up and start crying and no one would remember it except the trees. Having so many people watch you because of one mistake is stressful; no wonder I'm like this.

No, wait. It's not right for me to be blaming anyone right? It's not their fault that I'm in the middle of the forest without any inclination of direction or time except that its nighttime. I have no idea just who I'm looking for, why they're doing this, and what Sasuke and I could possibly do about it. This is something that we should've reported to Tsunade-sama the moment we found out it involved Konoha.

But then I remember Sasuke's determined face and I take it back.

I nestle my head between the tree leaves, and try to get comfortable. It's the first time I've ever missed having something as lumpy as a sleeping bag. I wonder how Sasuke's fairing, if he already made it to Konoha, or he stuck somewhere—

"God, enough already," I moaned out, cocking my head to the side in exasperation. The journal in my lap slides to the right and instinctively I reach out and grab it from falling over. The fall down here is high, extremely high and I wonder how I was even able to make it this far. I squint, but I can't see the bottom. My eyes are focusing in and out; it's scaring me a lot. I open up the journal, and the smell of old pages calm me. The pen is lodged tightly in between the next bare pages, but the uncapped pen has marred the pages with stray marks.

I sigh. "I can hardly see but…" The pen feels right in my hands.

_Dear Sakura,_

_I may or may not be a few miles away from Konoha. My head is throbbing, and I can't see a thing, they burn so bad. I'm confused, I'm angry and I can't stop wondering about what Sasuke is doing and it's driving me insane. It makes me feel like some type of stalker but I know that the reason is because I've become more than dependent on him…I do that to everyone. What kind of Hyuuga is taught to depend on everyone? That's not how I was raised. At all. It sounds hard to believe, even coming from me. Don't believe me?_

_I depend on everyone. Like Sakura, she's the reason I have this journal in the first place! I've been depending on her for support, love, and attention, everything that I wasn't getting. She…really means a lot to me, so much so that when she wants a bit more out of me, like love, and I can't give it back. I mean, it makes sense to want to give love back to the person who gave me love in the first place, right? Even if I wasn't a lesbian, the least I could do was show her a bit of love. It makes me sick; it bothers me to the point of infuriation._

_I feel selfish and mean that I've run away from her when she needed me the most. I couldn't even give her a straight answer, and yet, here I am, writing in a book named after her, wishing she were here._

_And then there's Neji, right? The one who was 'looking' out for me? God, those words make me sick. He's the reason I'm lying on a thick tree branch, hoping no one evil out here will find me. I hate him, I honestly hate that he brings the best out of me when I want to feel my worst. He's like a parent who keeps telling an ugly kid she's beautiful. It's ridiculous, but I feel like as soon as I get home, home to my warm bed, that I'm going to apologize, because I need him. I need him so much that it makes me hate myself._

_Sasuke, I don't even want to talk about. I've had enough of him because I don't know how to feel about him. We've fought twice, he's even looked in my journal…but at the same time, he's saved me. He was kind, accepting and even willing to put away our differences so that this mission would work. By far, I don't want to let him down. But…I feel like I already am._

_Naruto…Naruto, my blond-haired angel who holds all the hopes and dreams I've ever had? The one I'm still in love with even though he barely acknowledges me existence? It's stupid; it's his entire fault I'm like this. Skinny, nearly bald, half-blind, all alone, weak…out of my mind…!_

I stop writing, and realize that I'm panting and my heart is pounding. I'm angry, I can feel my anger coil like heated wires inside of my belly. The writing is sloppy; the script makes then entry look sloppy. Disgusting. Ugly.

"Enough!" I shout and in a bout of rage, I tossed the journal, and the pen over the branch. I gasped. I can't see it, and only in a few seconds do I hear the thud. "Oh god…oh god…if I never get that back…"

I'm leaning over the edge, squinting, trying to hear something, anything. The chirping sounds of cicadas are gone. I can't hear any animals, it's like the world is waiting to see what I'm going to do next.

"I'm…so…stupid…" I sniffle and then using my hands, I flip over the branch until my entire body is hanging limply by my hands. My body is swinging back and forth, and I can't see the ground…much less the damn journal. The other branches are out of reach.

For a second, the image of myself letting go of the branch flashes through my mind. Surely, the fall wouldn't be enough to kill me, but it would be enough to put me to sleep for a good long while.

And that's what I think when I peel my fingers off the hard bark one by one…what I need, is a good, long sleep…

The wind only whips angrily at my face for a few seconds and I regret my decision to let go in the first place. Of course, I don't want to die; I'm just running away again…

I hit something hard. Something warm, tight, and hard. I feel arms, and the image of Sasuke comes to mind. I'm being saved again; by a stranger who thinks probably thinks I'm crazy.

"Don't…" I start to say, but I don't finish because the scent of sweat and spices invades my nostrils.

"Hey, Hina-chan, didn't I teach you about aerobic flips? You could've died there!" His voice is deep and rumbles throughout his chest and into my ears. It's the sweetest sound I've ever heard.

"Naruto…" I breathe, amazed. His eyes are the only thing I can see clearly, all blue and sparkly. "But...my journal…"

"I got ya, Hina-chan. We're close to Konoha, so no worries, alright? Relax a bit." He snuggles me a bit closer into his chest so he doesn't hear me snort angrily.

"Yeah…everyone seems to be taking better care of me than I am…" Nevertheless, I am thankful. For him, and his boyfriend.

* * *

Crazy? Confusing? Spectacular? None of those things? Review and tell me how you feel!


	17. Fight My Battles

Beautiful People

Chapter 17: Fight My Battles

Beta: beta'd by strawberries and napkins

...

Naruto did most of the talking, while I just clung to the musky smell of his shirt and closed my eyes as we flew. It was embarrassing, but the only thing I was thinking about was whether Naruto was aware that I was nearly trying to commit suicide or if he was just avoiding the subject.

"Hina-chan, don't fall asleep on me now." Naruto chuckled and his laugh vibrated through his ribcage and into my ear. I didn't know how much I missed it until I heard it again. Where had all my progress gone? I had reverted right back to being obsessed. But I just couldn't…stop…

"I'm not falling asleep. I was fine…why are you here?" I mumbled, finally struggling to be free of his grasp. I looked down, although it was still dark, in midnight hour mostly, and the ground was so far from us. Naruto was moving too quickly, I couldn't move. I didn't…want to move.

He darted quickly to the left, avoiding a large branch. "You should know. Sasuke cares a lot more about you than you or he would like to realize." He laughs then at my seemingly comical expression. Flashes of Sasuke's smile and the taste of clean water invade my thoughts, and make me blush. It has taken me awhile to recognize how much I care about Sasuke, I still don't know if I do. After all, he did get away with Naruto.

My voice broke for a second. "W-Where is Sasuke? He sent you?"

Naruto didn't immediately answer me. Instead he carried me forward until we suddenly went down, down, down to the bottom of the forest. In front of the gates of Konoha. My heart sank down into my stomach as he set me down to my feet, but held me steady with his warm hands. My knees were already shaking, the height of the doors were extremely intimidating.

Isn't this where I wanted to be? Why do I feel so terrible?

_Dear Sakura—_

_No, wait. I don't have that anymore._

"Sasuke's battling on the east, fighting pretty hard too. He sent me to go get you since he made it here first…" I snapped my head around to face him and opened my mouth, but he wouldn't let me speak.

"Don't get all defensive, Hina-chan. I actually wanted to see you too— I've heard some things…" His sparkling blue eyes dart from left to right, avoiding my gaze. My body quakes violently—I start coughing.

My lungs burn and ache. I want a bath. "You see me, don't you? I'm here. Now, the mission."

"Actually—" Naruto cuts in again, scratching his head with a mischievous grin. It's so sexy. "That's another reason. After this whole thing blew up into a 'protect konoha' thing, Tsunade-obaa-chan assigned me." He held both arms out, as if he was selling himself to me. "I'm here to help you. You want help, don't you?"

_Yes._ "No."

"But—it's only if you really need it." His eyes rake over my appearance with discomfort. "You…need it, don't you?" His echo rings throughout the forest, making it sound less and less like a question.

_Yes!_ "No, I can handle this myself."

"Maybe I could just be here to guide you, fill you in on the background so you know what to do, you know? It's only just in case, alright Hina-chan?

_Yes!!_

_Dear Sakura, now I don't—_

Instead, I stopped. I shook my head negatively; smoothed over my clothes with my hand. I pulled out a kunai, and examined my face in the reflection. I don't trust my eyes around Naruto anymore. "I won't need your help, I just want to finish this and get it over with. Follow me, we're heading for the east gate."

* * *

It felt good to have the wind in my hair, but the place was a wreck. I could feel and see the impacts of both the enemies and Sasuke's chakra, with trees and overturned dirt scattered all over the place. Naruto whistled appreciatively.

The closer we got, the louder the sounds of fighting got. Other ninjas had joined in, and now I could see that our "enemies" were more than just a few confused men. There were tons of them, no doubt probably ranging from the thirty-to-fifty. My heart raced as we spend along, towards the large gates.

"Looks like my impressive talking skills won't work this time." Naruto chuckled from behind me. I shrugged and moved a bit faster, hopped on a branch and twisted my body, springing right into action. I had landed myself a spot right in the center of the action.

It was horrendous. Gruesome. They were actually…self-destructing themselves. This one mission that was just supposed to be retrieving a scroll had turned into an all-out battle against a couple of psycho killers. These men were literally trying to attach themselves to anything, trees, rocks, Konoha ninjas, and blowing themselves up.

My eyes widened. This must've been their Kekkei Genkai. Which means that Lia's 'special ability' was self-explosion. Which also means that Lia doesn't just have one brother, she has many.

Naruto came close behind me and pulled me away just in time before one of them had the chance to grab me. He shielded me from the bright light, but I could see it anyway. Their chakra was literally ignitable…flammable chakra. I gasped.

"You alright?" Naruto wheezed, stunned to say anything else. The arm around my stomach tightened protectively. I whimpered in response and closed my eyes when one of the men—our enemy—exploded against a tree and sent his limbs flying everywhere.

They weren't really causing Konoha any damage, our ninja were way too good to get caught by them, but they were destroying everything with their screams, shouts, and fiery anger. I didn't feel anything; I just wanted the noise to stop.

"I said, are you alright?" Naruto breathed hastily in my ear, like he was considering taking me away from all this. As if I couldn't handle it.

"Yeah," I said, pushing his hand away and took a step forward, stomping out the flames on the ground. The warmth singed my skin. "This is my mission, after all, right?" I turn to him briefly and flash a weak smile. He gave me a thumbs-up, and I know that he had no intention of helping me. I was glad for that.

Two of them rushed at me, chakra pulsating at a rapid rate. It was moving through their system so fast that I wondered why they hadn't dropped dead just from the exhaustion, but I see it now. They moved very slow in my eyes. Extremely slow.

It made things easy.

I changed my stance, tensed my body and watched as the world changed around me, manipulating my own chakra as my hands moved close to my body, and yet wildly. They kept coming, more, more, and more of them. I could see it, their chakra lapping up their anger, and how just a graceful touch of my hand to their skin cut, sliced, and silenced them.

They crumbled to the ground in groups of five, ten against my jutsu. Their jutsu wasn't a match for the Gentle Fist at all. I was careful, and touched everyone twice, making sure that they couldn't rebuild the disconnection of their chakra paths.

Five more. I jutted my palm upwards, cut three paths that surrounded his liver, one that entwined around his heart. He gasped, coughed blood and fell to his knees. So did his friends.

Three more. My hands flew outwards. Despite the situation, it felt good to be in control. I couldn't even see Naruto, nor was I concerned with him. This was my moment, wasn't it?

Two more. I found out the hard way that they were also able to ignite things around them, like my jacket for example. I took them down quickly and then tossed my jacket aside just as the flames began licking at my skin. I grimaced in pain, but shook it off.

"You okay, Hina-chan? Got it all out huh? I swear, I never get tired of watching that Gentle Fist style from either you or Neji, it's pretty amazing!" Naruto shouted from behind me, with a lopsided grin. He didn't have his jacket either. I smiled and nodded, taking a look around me. The flames all around us highlighted his tan skin and blond hair nicely, even though he was stepping over both dead and unconscious bodies.

I rubbed my arm awkwardly. I really did take it out on them.

Someone gripped me by the shoulder tightly. I flinched and spun around. It was only a masked ANBU member who nodded at me. "We'll take care of the rest. Good work."

Naruto and I looked around him, watching the other members with impressive water and earth jutsu as they put out the flames and cleaned up the scattered bodies and limbs.

He held his hand out. "The scroll…" the question was left open and Naruto and I exchanged frantic glances. I had totally forgotten, and it wasn't in my possession when I was coming back here…

"Delivered to the Hokage," a silken voice came from behind us. We all turned to look up the tree at a dirt-smudged yet satisfied Uchiha whose eyes locked on mine. He gave me a nod of approval.

"Sasuke!" Naruto chirped excitedly as the raven jumped down nonchalantly. Naruto tackled him full-force, planting the wettest kiss I've ever seen. I half-expected Sasuke to shove Naruto away and say something…Sasuke-esque, but instead he leaned slightly into Naruto's arms and kissed him back.

I rolled my eyes and turned back around with a weak smile to the faceless ANBU who I was sure was a bit creeped out watching them make-out. My smile got a bit bigger.

"Mission complete."

* * *

Thanks to everyone who has been sticking around and reviewing these chapters, I love all the support! I hope you enjoyed and please review!


	18. I'm Free for Tuesday

Beautiful People

Chapter 18: I'm Free for Tuesday.

Beta: strawberries and napkins

…

I stand there proudly, shoulder-to-shoulder with Sasuke as we give Tsunade a detailed description of our trip. On Sasuke's left, is Naruto. On my right is my father. He doesn't look pleased or displaced. Rather, a display of careful neutrality is painted on his face. It's the only way I can describe his face. When it's over, he nods to the Hokage, shakes hands firmly with Sasuke, and then Naruto. Then he brushes by me, softly.

It takes a few seconds for it to sink in.

"Well done," he voice is rings in my ear. I don't break down and cry like I had always imagined I would, but my knees shake so badly that Sasuke wraps his arm around me to support me.

Tsunade smiles. "Seems like this mission has brought even more mush and joy than expected." She rolls her eyes. Naruto folds his arm over his chest and smiles. They share a mutual glance, and then she waves us out.

I'm happy, and embarrassed at the same time. Being around Sasuke brings out that type of stuff in me. But I get the urge to hug him again, so I do.

"Hey, hey. I saw him first now, Hina-chan," Naruto jokes and it makes me release him quickly. Sasuke's face is still impassive, possibly annoyed, but I can't stop blushing.

They kiss. The uneasy feeling in my belly rings loudly, rattling my bones. Then weakens, eventually fading away. I smile at them, and I know I'll be okay.

"So, where are you going today, Hina-chan?" Naruto grins sheepishly. I shrug and wave them both goodbye.

Sasuke mouths the words 'Soon'. I shiver, and nod as quickly as I can. Out of the building, and out of their lives. Temporarily, I think.

* * *

Father beat me home, of course. But I'm relieved; I don't feel like talking about my travels again. For the first time, I realize how long it's been since I've had my bed, my shower, and the luxuries of my home—

I catch a whiff of heavenly spices. Food, I think desperately. I haven't eaten anything in over two days. Still, I'm determined to make it to my bed for a nap first. I only get three steps down the hall before the room of my door opens, and Neji pokes his head out. Casual, calm, as if I had never left in the first place.

"Hungry? I have meat buns." He points to inside my room. At first, I want to yell at him for having food inside of my room, but then my stomach growls loudly. He laughs at my blush. I nod and follow him inside.

The room is fixed, and redecorated with more sparkly and girly items. The sheets of my bed were changed from their boring gray to a pristine white with printed red roses. It's pretty, I think, as I run my fingers across the bed. My body aches. I'm so tired.

He holds out a meat bun wrapped in colorful paper. They're the meat buns from my favorite restaurant. I smile when I accept one, and then we both sit on the edge of my bed, shoulder-to-shoulder, silent as we eat.

It tastes amazing; my stomach craves it so badly that I can hardly think. I stuff more in my mouth than I can chew, and so it goes down roughly, but I'm satisfied. The spicy taste of pepper and onions drive me crazy. I don't think I've ever devoured anything so quickly.

I finish first. "Thank you…" I say, awkwardly, and then close my mouth before a rush of things comes out. He nods, swallows, and then pats my back soothingly with a faint smile.

A shaky sigh falls out my mouth. "I missed you," I start, my eyes searching for his reaction. When he doesn't say anything, I continue. "Before—well, before all that, I was…well, I still am, pretty confused, and I took it out on you. I'm sorry."

I look at him. He looks back at me, expectantly, like I was supposed to be saying something else. God, how infuriating! But at the same time I want to smile.

"I think…this whole trip, with Sasuke…it helped me a bit, you know. This whole thing is bigger than me. I get it. I want to get better."

I stare at him with pleading eyes, repeating myself. "I want to get better. So…help me, get better…" Then I can't take it anymore, and I collapse onto Neji's shoulder, crying out the tears I should've when I realized for the first time that I was wrong and that I had lost. I had lost Naruto.

But I think I gained something much, much more precious in his stead.

"You'll be fine, Hinata. You don't need me." He pats my back again, wipes the streak of tears from my eyes. "But I'm not going anywhere, so relax."

He smiles at me. I smile back. Then I do, I relax. But I relaxed far too much, because I don't remember anything after that.

* * *

"Hey."

Something brushes against my face, and I swat it away angrily. These sheets feel like cold silk, so soft and warm…I didn't want it to end. But it came again, and again.

"Heeey." The voice chuckled, and a hand's relentless attacks on my face were too aggravating. I opened my eyes, and opened my mouth ready to chastise Neji for waking me up from my much-needed rest. Only it didn't come.

Only it wasn't Neji. It was Naruto.

I suppressed a scream, nearly flying out of my bed in surprise. Thoughts and images of times where Naruto and I shared a bed pounded at my subconscious relentlessly. I pushed them away, and straightened my clothing. Then that surprised me too; I wasn't wearing my clothing, only my pajamas. I gently brushed the skin on my arm. No grime, no dirt. I was clean.

"Neji sure did you a favor, huh? You were asleep all day." He pointed to the window, clearly showing the crescent moon and faraway stars, showing me how much time has actually gone by since I finally got home. A whole day.

I blushed, and reminded myself to thank Neji later. Right now, I had to deal with Naruto.

"H-How…how did you get in here?"

"Broke in."

He laughed, but I didn't. It may sound like a joke to you now, but actually there were times when Naruto has broken into my room just to see me, for various reasons. I guess the thought of that amused him more than it did me. I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Alright, alright," he said, putting up his hands in surrender. "Neji stepped out and asked if I can watch over you in case you woke up or something. Sasuke's got his check-in meetings so I was all alone." He faked a pout. "I've been watching you sleep for the past two hours."

"Oh." My heart sinks, and then rises again. I'm not sure how to respond…or what to feel about it.

"Hey, listen, Hina-chan—"

"Hinata." I break in suddenly. He blinks and my brain finally catches up to what I just said, but it's too late to stop it now, right? So I keep going. "I want you to start calling me Hinata."

He gives me one of those mature looks. The kind an impressed father would give his son, and now I'm wondering if he was just waiting for me to sever all of our ties together. Well, of course he did. I'm the only one who hasn't caught up yet.

"Hinata," he says again, giving me a pointed look. "I was thinking…since you're back and all, that we should have a little get-together. You know, a party. Just to celebrate each other, you know how long it's been since the Rookie 9 has hung out." Another hollow laugh, but I like his intentions.

"You…want me to come?" I point to myself, hesitant. Confused.

He nods. "For Saturday. Do you…think you can make it?"

There's this awkward silence that prolongs my fears as I hear the sliding doors open and close, and heavy footsteps come my way. It's now or never.

"Yes. I'd love to."

He smiles at me, sizes me up, and then takes a chance—he gives me a hug. I hug him back, not regretting my decision at all. Neji comes in, giving Naruto a glowering look.

I've never been so relived to see Neji still being overprotective of me. I smile. "He was just leaving."

"Heck, yeah. See ya Neji, see ya Hina…ta." He salutes us both, and leaves through the open door, closing it behind him. Neji looks back, and then looks at me, expectantly. Waiting for the details, as always.

I shrug. "Just another challenge." There's a wicked gleam in my eyes, playful and such. But I really did see it as a challenge. I had four people to make up with before Saturday comes and we're all gathered. It's only Tuesday, last I checked.

Neji returns the smug grin. "You think you can handle it?"

Anticipation starts bubbling in my stomach. "Definitely."

* * *

Sorry for the late update, I've fallen ill again, you know, seasons changing and whatever…hope you liked the chapter! Please review!


	19. Cornered on Wednesday

Beautiful People

Chapter 19: Cornered on Wednesday.

Beta: strawberries and napkins

…

I'm so excited I can barely stand; I'm dancing around the room trying on several pieces of clothing that last month I would've rather slit my throat than wear. I'm excited I guess, too excited. But the more I think about it, the happier I get because _finally _I can confront Sakura and get my best friend back.

I pause and relish in the funny feeling I get when I say that. _Best friend._

Of course, the possibility of her still being upset with me for rejecting her feelings might come back up, but what was I supposed to do? She was in a relationship, and in my mind I was technically still in a relationship with Naruto.

I sigh, and then tackle my hair full-force with a brush and hairspray and then top it all of with a simple faux-diamond clip. Perfect.

"The last time I saw you smile was six months ago**,**" Neji says to me, as he looks me up and down, checking my outfit. I look at myself over again too, after being clean and re-dressed for the first time in probably over a week. My clothes are simple, fitted shirt, loose pants. Then I decide to wear the ninja sandals with a heel that Sakura bought for me a while ago.

I give him a pointed look. "Support?"

"All I have to give you." He steps aside, out of my way. I take my first steps out into the hallway, and then I pause.

I take a shaky breath. "…Neji?"

"Yeah?"

"Tell Dad I said thanks for revamping my room…for me?"

He pats my shoulder twice. "Sure."

* * *

It takes me over fifteen minutes to get to Sakura's 'shared' apartment with Ino because I stopped to talk to Shino and Tenten. Then I passed by Ichiraku Ramen and so of course I run into Naruto and Sasuke.

We shared a three-person hug. Well, I tackled Sasuke because I needed more support and Naruto didn't want to feel left out. When I tell them that I'm headed over to Sakura's house they both seem to freeze for a millisecond.

Then Naruto whistles and says, "You look good, Hina-chan."

Sasuke feeds me his deep gaze until he's sure I got some message. I didn't want to question it, so I nodded at him slightly, and then quickly took my exit.

What he was trying to tell me, I don't know. I just hope it's not another thing that'll be throwing me off my mission because I desperately need her again. But when I get there, I'm unprepared for what I'm seeing. The front door is wide open, and the front of her home is littered with boxes.

Lots. Lots of boxes.

Then my breath hitches. Okay, either moving in or moving out. Then I see Ino walking out of the wide open door. Her hair was in a messy bun, and she looked exhausted. When our eyes met, I waited. Then she waved softly, almost shyly. I jumped at the chance, and hurried to the front.

She crosses her arms like she's waiting for me to say something. So I look around. "Hey Ino."

"Hey." Her eyes are still steely.

"Is uh, is Sakura home? I kinda need to speak with her."

She glares at me, but I won't back down. I refuse to. When she doesn't say anything for a while, I repeat myself.

"Mission," she says simply. My heart sinks. I was prepared to do this, but it looks like it won't happen for a while. At first, I want to turn away and just go home. But then I see the way Ino's eyes sink to the ground, and I realize that Sakura's absence was no mistake.

So I gently squeeze her arm. She flinches, but meets my eyes.

"Ino…you wanna talk?"

She shrugs, and flushes a little. Then her eyes scan our surroundings and she says, "I can't. I'm packing…duh."

I laugh despite myself, and it brings a small smile out of her. "Need any help?"

"Sure, you can start here," she says, and then she leads me back into the house and up the stairs, into the guest bedroom. I'm surprised, actually, because I always thought that she would be sleeping in Sakura's room…with Sakura. But then my mind recalls images of me sleeping in Sakura's bed, and suddenly I feel guilty.

"Are you…and Sakura…?" I trail off, not knowing what I want to say next. I shift from foot to foot and Ino doesn't immediately respond to me as she heaves a smaller box and tackles it into my hands.

I falter for a second and then straighten my posture to hold it tightly. "Ino…?"

"We broke up," she says was so nonchalantly that I stare her down until she relents and tries it again. "Well, she and I…we're having some problems so I thought it 'd be best if I moved out…for the time being."

I shift the box's weight, a bit uncomfortable. And to think that I dressed up all nicely for this. "But you two haven't broken up yet…right?"

"Yes…no…god, why do you ask so many questions? I don't know!" She's frustrated with me by the way she glares. She turns on me, and I follow her back out and we settle some boxes onto a cart, headed by a strong looking horse. Every time we go back and forth and the cart piles up higher and higher, the more depressed Ino's face gets.

I don't think Sakura knows that Ino is trying to leave.

But I don't want to say anything just yet, so I follow her along and keep up my observations. She looks so different than before when I left, and I think this may have been what Sasuke was trying to warn me about. I know that she and Sasuke were still rather close to each other the way Sakura and I are, but I'm too muddled to figure it out.

Too many things are happening at one time! I heave another box onto the back of the cart, and then I slump down on the cart myself, leaning on one box. "Why do you have so much stuff?" I moaned, annoyed that I had started sweating through my clothing.

"Jealous, much?" She says, and pushes her nose up in the air. Then we both start to laugh. My body jiggles too much, and then my arm pushes into something sharp, making me hiss and draw away.

"God, what is in this lumpy thing?" The box was uncovered, and there were tons of miscellaneous objects in the box.

I pull out the thing that poked me. An old, leathery, and sharp-edged book. "What is that?"

"Oh that old thing?" She takes a look at it and then shrugs. "That's my journal."

* * *

Enjoy my poorly constructed cliff-hanger, I'm incredibly tired. Thank you for all those reviewing and hopefully you enjoyed the chapter!


	20. Courageous on Thursday

Beautiful People

Chapter 20: Courageous on Thursday.

Beta: strawberries and napkins

"What?"

She rolled her eyes at me. "I said, 'that's my journal'. What's the big deal?" She gives me this pathetic look and takes a deep breath. Then she smirks at me.

"Well? Sakura had to get the idea from someone, didn't she? It was actually only for fun—you know, something to do after Sasuke left." Then her eyes dart from left to right, like she was looking for someone. I do the same, but I'm not sure what's she looking for either.

Then I look down at my hands, where the book is. It's much nicer than mine; a deep navy blue instead of black and it's embroidered with lily patterns. Looking at it made my stomach queasy—to think that my journal could be in the hands of anybody right now. And I had just abandoned it.

I shook my head solemnly. "What did you write about?"

She tapped her chin. "Oh, you know, normal stuff. Sasuke's disappearance, all you guys, Naruto's 'thing'…" She trailed off when my face suddenly contorted at the mention. Cautious, she laughed and waved her hand dismissively. "It was more of a diary than a journal, you know?"

Ino sighed and started twirling her hair around one finger. "I kinda just decided when I found out about Sakura that maybe since it was helping me out, it could help her out too. With…yeah. It's kinda what brought us together." I recognize the starry look in her eye.

"You love her still, don't you?" It wasn't really a question. She nodded and then gathered up her limbs, resting her chin on her knees.

I patted her on shoulder. "I'm really sorry, Ino. Honestly, I am. I came her because I was hoping that I could fix this and somehow—"

"Honestly, Hinata," she said in a flat tone, "haven't you learned to stop meddling in other people's relationships?"

I shrunk back, hurt. She glanced at me through the corner of her eyes and then the boxes that surrounded us, as if she were calculating something. Then she got up like nothing was wrong and led me back into the house, where we begin the task of collecting more boxes. I wasn't mad anymore; because it's certain that my interference in this would've led to more problems. I mean, there's nothing I could've really said, right?

Maybe I should've just stayed home.

"Ino, I think—"

"Oh, shit." She drops her suitcase of clothing on the ground and it pops open, all of her things covering the ground in less than a few seconds. I look around to see what the big deal was, and then I gulped loudly.

Sakura was home.

She looked at the cart, puzzled. "What the hell is this?" I take in her tone, and it sounds cold and distant. She doesn't even need to ask this question, it's already obvious. My number one worry was what's Sakura thinking about me, now that she's caught me red-handed helping move Ino out of her home.

Ino's body shakes violently, and her eyes widen. I'm watching her resolve crumble right before me. In the heat of the moment, I open my mouth to say something, but when I see Sakura's glossy eyes look dead in mine, I watch her crumble too.

"Only idiots try to leave someone when they didn't even know exactly when they were coming back! I can't believe you!"

Then Sakura burst into tears, right there in front of both of us. I glance at Ino, but she doesn't move. Her eyes well up with tears but I can see that she's been permanently rooted to the ground. I move into action, and with a few quick strides I wrap my arms around my friend, and comfort her. She smells like peaches.

I gently stroke her hair. "Shh, shh, Sakura. It's going to be all right, I promise. It's going to be alright." All I can do is feed her everything I have, the belief that I can fix everything.

But honestly, I don't even think I could believe my own words.

* * *

We sat on the couch, all three of us, completely unmoving. It was like none of us knew what to say exactly. Sakura just sat there and sniffled, and Ino was extremely focused on her shoes. And I, I sat in the middle, not sure of what to say exactly.

Finally, I coughed out loud.

"Ino?" She looked up shakily. "I think you should say something."

She snapped on me angrily. "Why should I? So forehead can yell at me because I can't turn into you? I don't even know why she's so upset, I was doing her a favor!"

"I never asked you to pack your stuff and leave!" Sakura shouted back over me, reducing my hearing slightly. Then I was caught in a hail of harsh words, shooting back and forth over me. It was suffocating, and I kept having bits and pieces of my own flashbacks, that kept sending me cold shivers.

"I can't keep doing this! Stop taking this out on me!"

"You just don't understand! I have to bring him back!"

I gripped the sides of my head. All too much. "Stop it, just stop it you two!" When I finish shouting, I pant heavily. Even I'm surprising myself.

They both ceased fire, staring at me like they just realized I was still here.

"Hina-chan…?" Sakura gently placed her hand on my thigh in concern, and although her touch was what I had been longing for since I've returned, I slapped her hand away.

"No! Stop doing that! Can't you see? It's bothering her." I motioned to Ino, who looked like she had been slapped.

I sighed. "This whole thing is getting out of control." I looked at Sakura, first, and gathered all my strength.

"I came here honestly because I wanted to see you again. Sakura, you're my friend…my best friend, and I can't stand to see you upset like this." I grasp her hand, forcing her to face me in the eye.

"But I don't want to be in the middle of this. I can't…" I pause, but only for a moment. "Sakura, I can't be with you. No, I won't be with you, because you don't deserve me, and you never did. There's someone who's been waiting for you, and I think it's time you paid good attention to it, don't you think?"

Her face wasn't like the way I had pictured it. I expected it to twist and scrunch up the way it does when she's about to cry, but instead she closes her mouth in a tight line, and a flash of disappointment crosses her face, but only for a moment.

Sakura pushes my hands away. "I know, Hina-chan. I know." A small smile graced her tear-streaked face.

Ino snorts loudly, her arms crossed over her chest. "Stop acting like your dumb rehearsed lines will solve anything!"

"Yes, it does," I say happily, and then I embrace Ino tightly. "You can't be with Sasuke either. We're all stuck." The moment I said it, I was glad I did. Honesty feels good.

"Idiot! T-That's not the point!" Ino stuttered angrily with a red face as she pushes me away. Immediately, I break out into a fit of giggles. Sakura stares at me incredulously, but when I don't stop, she starts laughing too. Before I realize it, we all start laughing.

Because honestly, it really is funny. All of us, fighting over things we're never going to get, when the very thing we deserve has always been sitting right in front of us. For a long time, I thought I was the only one like this, but when I look to my left and right and see two just as equally stressed out girls beside me, and I feel a bit better. A lot better, actually.

We laugh until the happy feeling bubbling in my stomach begins to hurt.

Ino is the first to talk. "So, who's gonna help me unpack?"

* * *

My clothes were ruined with dirt and sweat, but I was beaming by the end of the day. The sun was finally starting to set on all three of us, as I helped Ino move back inside. She owns too much stuff, I swear.

But, seeing the two of them actually talking without yelling was so nice that I offered to take the rest of the boxes so that they could actually do some talking where I wasn't around. I kinda of regret it now, seeing as these boxes were extremely heavy. Especially the last one I was having difficulty carrying in.

I sighed and dropped it as carefully on the floor of their living room. I was about to head upstairs, but a few…interesting noises coming from upstairs stopped me from doing so. I winced, and then forced a little laugh.

"Now that's the way it should be." I giggled to myself, stepping over the number of boxes as I made my way outside. But a note and a book on the center table stopped me.

It was Ino's journal. I inhaled sharply, and picked up the ancient book, turning it over in my hand. Then I reached for the note.

_It's been with me through it all, so maybe you could learn a thing or two. Thank you for __**everything.**_

_Ino_

I smiled, and tucked the journal underneath my arm, preparing to walk away again. But then…I stopped and gazed at the beautiful journal between my fingers. I wanted it, badly, all full of secrets, advice, and life lessons I could definitely benefit from. But…

I sighed, found a pen, and flipped the note card over.

_Thanks, but I think we __**both**__ know that there's someone who can benefit from your side of the story, much more than I ever could. Take care of her. See you Saturday!_

Hinata

Satisfied, I placed both back on the table, and made my exit, fully content on making it home to my _own_ bed.


	21. Fighting on Friday

Beautiful People

Chapter 21: Fighting on Friday.

Beta: strawberries and napkins

...

I maneuver my way into my room through the window with the full intent of hopping into bed fully clothed, but the sound of light snoring stops me dead in my tracks. At first, I think it's some type of intruder, but then the moonlight angles itself just right so that I could see the cascade of free hair spilling over my pillow. I smile, and tip-toe through the darkness for a closer look.

The way he looks when he sleeps is completely different from the way he is awake. it looks as though he's always thinking. and his brow is permanently creased in thought, but now as he sleeps…there isn't a wrinkle on his face. He leaves his hair untied, and this is the only time the hitai-ate comes off. I gently trace the burdened symbol on his forehead, and his nose twitches in response. I giggle as quietly as I can, and then begin to move forwards to find the spare cot I keep in the closet just in case.

He grabs my arm too tightly for a previously sleeping person. Well, I think dryly, No wonder he's such a great ninja.

He shifts in bed, and then sits up, still gripping my wrist. His hair cascades over his shoulders and down his back. I suck in air quickly, temporary stunned by it and then immediately remember the day I chopped off all my hair. I wonder if it was as pretty as his.

"Sorry. I was…mm…" he half-slurs to me, but his eyes are threatening to roll to the back of his head in exhaustion. I'm surprised he even had the energy to change into nightwear and slip into my bed. I make a special note to trade eventful stories with him about today later, but I need a nap, desperately. I shrugged and peeled of my shoes, moving around to the other side of the bed and slipped in.

He murmurs something incoherent, but I'm not paying attention. I don't have the heart to kick him out of my room, and I'm too lazy to find the cot now. I snuggle in his arms and let out a small shriek.

He snorts and makes himself comfortable, and then I listen for his heartbeat until he falls asleep again. The change in breathing patterns is amazing when you actually get a chance to listen to it adjusting. I remember…the last time I slept in Neji's bed was so long ago. Back when his father was still alive, and I was still his 'dear cousin.'

I still am, I think. No wait, I know. I smile.

I love my cousin.

* * *

The next morning I wake up when Neji nearly jumps out of bed, heaving like he just ran a mile. I flinch, afraid. A bad nightmare, I assume. So I place a gentle hand on his shoulder, and he jumps again, but lightly. He places his hand over mine, sending a silent message.

"Are you…okay?" I ask, and then cough. My voice is extremely hoarse. He shrugs, and we sit in silence until his breathing finally dies down. He's face is flushed and just when I try to peak over to see just what kind of dream it was, he laughs.

"Remember when you used to sneak into my bed when you had nightmares?" He laughs dryly, and I giggle. How times have changed, I know...

Then I sit upright in the bed and stretch, yawning. He angles his head away from my morning breath. I shrug it off and grin. "So what were you dreaming about?"

Neji's face turns this deep red, something I've never seen on him before. He looks just like a girl this way. I pinch his cheek, but he slaps my hand away. When I repeat the question, he avoids my gaze and shrugs. My interest is incredibly peaked right now, but I know not to push it. I'll find out, someday.

He tosses the bed sheets aside, and flips himself over the side of the bed, stretching his back and the bones creak in protest. I watch him run his fingers through the knots in his hair. I sigh.

"You have really pretty hair, you know."

He looks back over my shoulder with a soft smile. I feel a small tad of deja-vu by his next words. Oh, now I remember. All those times I used to sleep in his bed and then when he awoke in the morning I'd be jealous of his hair that tickled my nose, and he was a _boy._ I was so envious of it that I grew my own.

Now I remember, and so I quickly say it before he can with a wide grin. "And so will I."

He grins back.

* * *

Today I forget to dress up. In fact, after Neji hurried to make his exit claiming he had something "important" to do, I forget that I was supposed to find Kiba and apologize for being such a jerk to him. Instead, I fall asleep again. And when I wake up, it's already dusk. I slept in extremely late, and this time there was no Neji or Naruto to wake me up.

I took the quickest shower I could and threw on my training clothing, greeting my father quickly before I rushed out into the streets of Konoha. All the shops' lights were on, making things extremely pretty, but I didn't have any time to actually sit and admire them.

First I try the training ground, but he's not there. Then I try our team eight's meeting spot, but he's not there either. I try his favorite restaurant, and it's completely empty. The Pet Store, The Weapons Shop, and even his own home! But yet, he's still not in any of those places. I was about to give up, when a familiar voice catches my ear, and more importantly, my attention.

Of course, it's Naruto. How can I not keep running into him even when I'm not looking for him? He's settled cozily inside of Ichiraku Ramen, but that's not the reason I approached him in greeting.

It was because of who was sitting next to him. Kiba.

"Hi," I say shyly, trying to gauge his reaction. His eyes flicker up once over my face, and then he grunts me a hello. Naruto completely misses it, and invites me to sit down. My initial response was to reject it, but how could I? This is what I've been looking for. So I nod my head and take a seat next to Naruto, the farthest from Kiba. He avoids my gaze.

"We were just talking about the mission!" Naruto says excitedly and orders me a bowl of miso ramen. While he goes on recapping the thing the mission and that distorted parts that Sasuke filtered out for my protection, I devour the bowl.

It's not until Kiba suddenly says, "So did you and Sasuke make up?"

I flinch and stumble over my words, wiping the miso broth away from my lips. "Yes…well, we weren't fighting but…" Naruto and Kiba stare at me with expectant eyes. I swallow thickly. "We're pretty close now."

Naruto smiles at me; it was a sufficient enough answer. Then he turns to Kiba. "You see, I'm telling you, I just may be endanger of losing my boyfriend to my ex-girlfriend! All Sasuke does is talk and talk and talk about—" Then something strikes me.

"Hey." I interrupt, locking eyes with Kiba, daring him to look away. He doesn't. "Let's go spar."

Naruto's eyes flash back and forth between Kiba and I, so I think he catches on when he swallows the last gulp of broth in his bowl, slams down some money, and then we all take off for the fields.

Now, I know when I said it, it sounded like a good idea. Sasuke and I were never gonna be able to understand each other through words the way Sakura and I can. We did it with fists. My thought was that maybe it would have to be the same when it came to Kiba and I.

But with the game now turning into two against one, I'm wondering if I'll survive enough to even get that connection with him.

* * *

This is the third time Naruto has managed to knock me down.

Although my speed isn't surpassing Kiba's, my stamina is much better so he hasn't been an up-to-par fighter with me just yet. Naruto however, is making light work of my attacks and my body.

When he body throws me to the ground, I'm thinking he's all but lost it until he purposely tackles me and holds me down with his body weight. I squirm under him uncomfortably.

"N-Naruto, please! We're sparring!"

He shakes his head. "Nuh-uh, I'm not getting up until Kiba tells us where he's been hiding." We both look around, but there's no sign of him. Naruto starts to tickle me with his fingers and when I finally manage to throw him off of me, Kiba reappears, a whirlwind of chakra.

I barely manage to avoid it; it was a good attack. Naruto isn't as fortunate and takes the blunt force of it. When Kiba finally stops and I race over to see if Naruto's been seriously injured or not, Kiba bursts out into laughter. Confused, I look down to see what he's laughing about. And there Naruto was, all twisted up with his tongue hanging out his mouth and his eyes rolled to the back of his head. At first, I panic until I Naruto begins to cough violently. He looked so silly right then.

And then I laugh too. I get so caught up in my laughter that I don't notice that Kiba has grabbed my hand until his laughter ceases.

He grins at me. "Hey, Hinata…"

"Kiba." I try hard to keep my face neutral.

"I don't want you to be my girlfriend." His eyes speak sincerely, translating that into: _I'm not mad at you._

I smile. "I don't want to be your girlfriend, Kiba." I let my eyes translate the rest for him too. _I'm glad we can be friends._

He squeezes my hand.

"Honey, I'm home!" I shout mockingly when I enter my room late that night and find Neji sprawled across the top blanket, in a deep sleep. He jumps awake.

"I was…I was…"

I wave my hand. "Forget it, just move over." He grins at me.

"Had a good time?" he murmurs into my wind-blown hair, as we crawl under the covers and I snuggle into the crook of his arm.

"Of course." I smile. "Now sleep, we have a big day tomorrow, right?"

He grumbles softly. "You have _no_ idea."

* * *

Very close to being finished, thank you to all the viewers who have been reading and reviewing so faithfully, I swear, seeing how other people can enjoy this story AND relate to it is really something special. Thank you! :]


	22. Welcome to Super Saturday

Beautiful People

Chapter 22: Welcome to Super Saturday

Beta: strawberries and napkins

…

Neji kept me awake all that night. Not speaking, just periodically waking up, tensing his body and gripping onto me as if something was after him. Something was seizing him terribly, but I don't think they it was bad dreams. They were just frightening to him. This is something that sadly I understand too well, when I had gripping flashbacks of past relationships earlier this year. I feel like he and I have almost switched circumstances.

So I didn't complain. This is why he came to me right? Instead, I shifted our positions hourly, holding him a bit tighter to me each time. It was a rough, but rewarding sleep. We woke up late.

Well, I woke up screaming. But I don't remember why.

Neji just sighed, stroked circles into my back and whispered, 'shh, shh' over and over until my whimpers got soft enough to go away. I think it was just a case of bad nerves for today, but I think this was just my self-conscious' last attempt to ruin my life. I took a scorching hot shower that turned my skin pink and put on that blue flowery dress that I had made Neji buy me half a century ago.

He had just finished brushing and tying back his hair when I stepped up to him for inspection. He smiled.

"You look nice."

I nodded, "thank you," and held out my arm for him to take. "Ready to go?"

* * *

He takes me to Kiba's favorite restaurant, so now I know who set this whole thing up in the first place. Originally, I was extremely nervous that this whole party was set up because of me, but as a waitress leads us to a private room in the back and all the faces greet my cousin and me, I relax. This party is just that: a party. No one is here to scrutinize me, or judge my 'progress'; they just want me to be there, because as much as I refuse to admit it, I'm a part of this…party.

They're all sitting accordingly, in team formation. On the left side is Shikamaru, Chouji, and Ino. On the right side, are Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura. Sasuke and Naruto are tightly holding each other's hands under the table, and above the table Ino and Sakura are stroking each other's thumbs. Beside Sakura is Tenten, Rock Lee, and Neji leaves my side quickly to take a seat beside them. I look back to my left. Shino, Kiba and…

Me?

I gulp. Kiba turns his attention over to me and gives a loud hoot, drawing everyone's attention to me.

"Well, are ya gonna take a seat or not? The food will be ready in a moment." Kiba's eyes glint mischievously. I smile and take my seat beside him proudly.

I sit down, becoming unnerved by everyone's stares. I cough loudly, hoping to take the attention off of me. It doesn't work.

"Hina-chan…" Naruto stands boldly, and his eyes look moist, like he's about to cry. I really hope he doesn't, because if I see him crying, then I will definitely end up crying too.

"I just…I really wanted to say that…thank you." His voice breaks for a moment, and then he clears his throat and continues, squeezing Sasuke's shoulder as he speaks. "For everything you've done for me, I've been an ass by not acknowledging it sooner but…thank you, Hinata."

He and Sasuke share looks for a moment. I gulp down happy cry tears. Then Sakura stands up.

"For me too, Hinata. Thank you."

And then Ino.

"And me too, thanks, Hinata."

Kiba, too.

"Thank you, Hinata, for being there."

And Neji.

"Thanks for letting me share your bed." He gets a few snickers for that.

And, for some reason, Tenten stands up. And then so does Rock Lee. Then Shino, Shikamaru, and Chouji.

And before you know it, everyone is standing and thanking me for things I might have done over ten years ago, when we were still children. A few tears slip down my cheek, and Ino passes a napkin. I can't even speak, so I let my happy sobs speak for me as they all embrace me and then return to their seats.

Someone knocks against the door, and waiters and waitress file in with platters of food.

Naruto licks his lips and cheers, "Alright! Now that the mushy stuff is over, let's eat!"

* * *

While we eat, Kiba keeps me afloat by telling everything that's been happening while I was away, or just…unavailable. I finally found out why Neji has been having those 'dreams'. Apparently, he's been taking frequent visits to see the Kazekage.

I giggle at this and steal a glance at Neji, who was modestly talking with Tenten. I've never even asked about Neji's love life, and while I feel a bit guilty for not taking more of an interest, I think it's pretty cute for him to like someone else, regardless if it's a boy.

Then I take another look at Tenten's lightened face, and sigh. I can definitely sympathize.

Finally, the alcohol arrives. I'm not sure if it was the heavy food or the extreme sake drinking, but all of a sudden I'm listening to Naruto give this almost first-hand detailed story of my mission. And Sasuke is arguing with him to stop, but he won't.

"Yeah, so then Hinata gets all mad and you know how women are when they get angry right? So anyway, she gets up and she punches Sasuke in the face! I mean, like a hard punch because Sasuke had this big purplish bruise and it was pretty gross and all—"

And then Sasuke decided to demonstrate how hard I hit him on Naruto's face. We all get a pretty good laugh from that.

A bit more drinking and some more weird stuff start happening too. Soon, it's only me and Rock Lee who hadn't taken a drink of anything. Neji ends up being the sleepy drunk, and falls asleep right in my lap. He's blushing, and I smile, knowing exactly what he's dreaming about. Then I make a mental note to make sure to have a real conversation about the birds and the bees later.

Kiba and Shino somehow stray away from me and enjoy their meals in the company of each other, still together but somehow silently disconnected to each other. I keep my smile hidden.

Sasuke and Naruto end up giving us a show by making out with each other for a bit before Sasuke ends up passing out too. He had originally come over to talk to me, but then just passed out on my shoulder mid-sentence, so I was stuck in a stand-still position, just listening to everyone else have a good time. Naruto admired the way Sasuke and I looked together even daringly suggested that they turn the relationship into a threesome to include me, but Sakura knocks him into his place. I thank her silently.

While he and Sakura fight, Ino saddles up to me with a silly grin that makes her look extremely drunk.

"Are you sure you did the right thing…giving…giving me back the journal?" She bobs her head and then burps right in my face. Then she bursts out laughing. I'm thinking that Ino is the silly drunk type, but then at the same time it looks like she's doing this because it's funny.

Rock Lee shoots me a sympathetic look as he rubs circles in Tenten's back as she eats the rest of the sushi.

I nod. "It was better that way, I think."

"Sakura wanted to give you hers too, after she finishes reading through mine. O-oh my god, Hina-chan, you have no idea how much bitching she does every night after she reads my entries dedicated to how attractive Sasuke is—" She cuts off when Sasuke grunts loudly and his eyes peek open for a second. I want to tell her that she just referred to me as 'Hina-chan' for the first time…ever, but I don't want Sasuke to wake up and ruin how openly Ino is talking.

I stroke his head a few times and he falls right back asleep, snoring and all. He's clutching my free hand. Ino and I notice it and exchange secret smiles.

"No, I think the journal has done its job, don't you?" I smile at her honestly.

She nods and then her smile turns into a smirk. "You just don't want to read about Sakura and I gush over Sasuke, right?"

I blush and open my mouth to say something, but Sasuke begins stirring again, as he tries to sit up from off my shoulder and fails, only managing to blow a lot of hot air in my ear and the nape of my neck.

Ino and I burst out into laughter that threatened to wake Neji up. Afterwards, Ino and I talk and laugh about everything as she feeds herself and I the food that Sakura couldn't finish. I never noticed how much Ino and I had in common.

I do another glance around the room. Tenten and Lee are eating and laughing about something and somehow Naruto and Sakura managed to stop bickering enough to actually have normal conversations. Sakura was reading Naruto's palm. I smiled, remembering when I taught her how to do that.

Shikamaru and Chouji are the first to leave, saying that they had something else that needed both their attention at the time. Only Ino and I are the ones paying enough attention to say goodbye.

Kiba and Shino were still talking, but it was becoming more and more obvious that they were too close to not be kissing already.

Ino follows my gaze and then laughs. "Is it just me or is it that every guy who's interested in you turns gay?"

She apparently found that really funny, but I didn't. At first…now I'm thinking she may have a point.

I shrug and pet Sasuke's cheek who mewls like a baby in response. Ino coos and then we take turns playing with Sasuke to see who would wake him up first, but before we're able to there's a knock on the door.

"Whaaat?" Naruto whines in Sakura's shoulder. She rolls her eyes. "Come in," she calls.

The waitress from before comes in, her eyes landing right on the sleeping Sasuke. I instantly feel bad for her, too.

"There's a visitor who requested to see…Hyuuga Hinata." She stumbles on Hinata's name and her eyes scan the room.

I clear my throat. "That's me, can I help you?" She blushes once she sees that I'm cradling not one, but two pretty attractive guys. Then she widens the door a bit more, and I gasp, flinching so harshly that it makes Sasuke jerk awake. We knock foreheads together, and that wakes Neji up, who nearly smacks Ino in the face with his hysterical flailing.

Sasuke and I groan in mutual pain as everyone breaks in laughter because of us. Even our new visitor laughs, but I don't.

"Lia," I say breathlessly.

* * *

"Would you like something to drink…uh, Lia?" Sakura asks, holding up a bottle of sake with a polite smile.

Neji rubs his eyes and looks at her, and then me. "You know her?"

I can feel beads of sweat gathering on my hairline. "Yeah, she's—"

"Lia." Sasuke says simply, and then gives me a bored look. "Well?" He sends me this intense look, followed by a hard stare. I've never seen someone say so much in so little words. I remind myself to thank Sasuke later.

I stand up quickly and grab her by the wrist leading her outside the restaurant. Then she snatches her hand back, rubbing her abused wrist gently.

"How'd you find me?" I say incredulously as I take in the sight of her. She still looks the same, but something's different…I can feel it. It's like this aura of sadness around her, but I can feel the heat of her determination behind her stare. It's amazing.

She reminds me of…well, me.

She fumbles around her bag for a while and then pulls out something I thought I'd never see ever again.

My journal.

"I was…well, I was trying to find Konoha and on my way, I tripped over it and fell. I think it might be destiny, Hyuuga-chan. You might stuck with the apple girl forever."

I smile, thinking that might not be such a bad idea after all. I look around our surroundings, and motion my head. "C'mon, let's take a walk to the park, okay? It looks like you have a lot of say if you've traveled this far."

* * *

We take a seat under a large, thick tree, and she spills into this great big story about everything that's happened after my mission. Since the entire farm was in her brother's name and now he dead, she suddenly ended up homeless.

"I was planning on taking refuge at Suna, but somehow I got lost and started my trek somewhere by Konoha, and that's when I stumbled onto your journal. Now I know that's it destiny that I found it. Because you needed it back, right?"

I shrug, not sure if I trust my mouth at the moment. I start to shake my head, but then I nod. "I…don't know, actually. But I am glad I got it back."

She averts her gaze.

"Did you…read it?"

Lia doesn't say anything, but then she shakes her head negatively. A cloud of apprehension lifts off my shoulders. Not that I'm afraid of her reading it, I just…

I sigh. That's right, it's something of the past.

Then I stand up and shake the dirt off my bottom, extending my hand with the happiest smile I could muster. I think it was destiny too.

"So, why don't you come with me, Lia? Neji and I may not be able to replace family, but we're pretty close."

She stares at my hand, and tears start to fall down her face. I am grinning, because as I'm looking at her happily crying face…

I think I finally understand what beauty really is.

* * *

Oh, my god. THANK YOU, to all the people who have followed me throughout this story, start to finish. Really, without all the encouraging reviews and stories about how you relate to Hinata, I never would've been able to finish this one. I'm glad that I'm not the only one who goes through these things, and just like Hinata, I hope for all of us that things will not only get better, we will _make _them better. Don't give up, okay? And seriously, thank you for all the support. Hopefully, if enough of you aren't satisfied with the ending, I'll add an epilogue chapter?

Ah, and please let me know if you spot any mistakes, ahaha.


	23. My Epilogue

Beautiful People

Chapter 23: My Epilogue

beta: strawberries and napkins

…

_Dear Sakura,_

_How have you been? I've been doing well, life has been getting better and better. I'm putting some pictures of all of us this year in a big scrapbook, and then I'll put you two both up, for a special occasion. The biggest thing I've learned this year was all about beauty, and spending everyday with Lia now has really shown me the beauty in people. She's been doing well, by the way. She's out planting some apple trees that I'm sure when they are full grown will make the complex look amazing._

_My Dad loves apples now, who knew?_

_And after confronting the Hokage about the situation of Konoha's poverty-stricken areas, Lia and I have been fully able to start a program that literally jumpstarts Konoha's economy, by having Konoha merchants buying Konoha goods. It's been really good, so good that maybe someday I'll be able to buy back Lia's farm. I'm not sure if I want to do that though, I really want her to stay with me forever._

_And can you believe it, after the program was green-lit by the Hokage, both Sasuke and Naruto volunteered themselves free and even got a nice little place out there where we can visit them. Sasuke is surprisingly good at growing tomato plants, and it goes the same for Naruto with orange trees, ha._

_All three of us, Neji, Lia, and I, it makes everyday fun. I never have time anymore to spend time in the mirror, picking out all the things wrong with me. I'm learning about how living life without examining yourself, because it forces you to accept the way you are. In fact, I've taken the vanity mirror out of my room, and discarded of all the scissors. As a result, my hair's gotten to be pretty long again._

_I don't think Neji likes it as much now, considering we fight over hair products all the time._

_And did I mention? Neji spends every summer in Suna now, with Gaara. They've become quite close now, and I'm getting better at watching my cousin being courted by Suna's Kazekage. It's adorable and pretty weird at the same time._

_I've also spent lots of time with Kiba, if you can believe it, Team Eight is better than ever. And he and Shino are doing just fine, if you know what I mean._

_Ino too. She's gotten way into her florist business, and with Lia's advice the place is doing really well, and she's been good emotionally too. We hardly speak about our journals anymore, and tend to stray away from speaking about the past. Because that's what it is, the past, so it'll stay that way._

_We're all moving on._

_But don't worry, we miss you a lot and hope everything is going well in Suna too. I miss my best friend and Neji and Lia miss you too. Write back soon, okay?_

_Hinata_

"Hinata, what are you doing? C'mon, Neji is ready to go, and to be honest, so am I!" Lia smiled, draping her arm across my shoulders. I smiled back.

"What's that? Journal entry?"

I shook my head. "Letter to Sakura, but I'm ready now. I'm sure Sasuke and Naruto have been waiting all day for our arrival, so let's get moving." I patted her on the head and then quickly folded the letter into my pocket. I'll have to remind myself later to give it to a post-man.

For now, though, it's time to go and visit my two other best friends, Sasuke and Naruto. I bent down and slung my luggage bag over my shoulder, giving Lia a bright smile.

"I'm ready."

* * *

As usual, it takes us around a day and half by foot, but we like to catch wandering merchant travelers going by, and that cuts the time it takes to travel nearly in half. It's very nice, seeing all the places and stops that Sasuke and I had originally traveled, and a couple times I've even teared up inside.

I turned to my left, where Lia was clutching my hand tightly. She was tearing up too. I smiled, and grabbed Neji's hand, and together all three of us walked through the busy pathways of the boom town, until we wandered up the hill and past Lia's farm, currently unoccupied.

"Soon, very soon." I whispered in her ear with a reassuring smile.

Neji nodded. "Yeah, soon."

"Okay," she whispered back and buried her face in my shoulder, wiping her tears on my sleeve. And then we quietly trekked with only the sound of grass crushing beneath our feet. My mind was thinking a million thoughts, it's been such a long time since I've seen either Naruto or Sasuke that I wonder how things are going along.

I miss seeing them, all homey looking, and I miss Naruto's loud voice or the invitation to Ichiraku's, the same way I missed how Sasuke would visit the complex every other day to see me, or the gentle way he and Lia would bicker over my attention.

I sighed, trying to fight my smile away. I could see their little home was in the distance, and I couldn't help how my feet suddenly started galloping wildly to close the distance, pulling both my cousin and Lia with me. The only excuse I could make was just a feral need to see the people I love the most.

Neji was tripping over his own feet, swearing loudly when his foot hit a rock that I managed to avoid. "What's the rush?" he called.

"Sasuke! Naruto! We'reeee here!" Lia called out over him, doing a better job of keeping up with me. I joined in the calling too, and soon enough, the closer we got, the louder our calling until I dropped both their hands and went straight for the door, throwing my whole body into it.

Fortunately, the door turned into something soft and warm, and smelled like sugar-baked cookies. I hugged him tightly, and then looked up expectantly. Of course.

"Hey, Hina-chan!" Naruto smiled down at me. I grinned.

"I missed you guys."

* * *

The house hasn't changed too much since the last visit, and it's become fairly easy to see the distinctions between Naruto and Sasuke's 'space'. There's a good combination of mess and neatness that gives the place a homey look.

In the semi-darkness of the living room, we gathered around the worn tatami mat and lit candles around us for the setting sun. None of us were hungry; we just wanted to talk.

"How are the plants coming along?" Lia asks, distractedly, because she was busy gripping my arm tightly, as if I was going to fly away if she didn't keep my steady.

Sasuke's eyes flash at her dangerously, but thankfully he doesn't say anything about it. "Winter is coming soon, and so growing is going to come to a stop soon, but we've gotten a lot of service for them lately."

He looks at me seriously and speaks in that tone I know too well. "Things are running smoothly." Neji hums loudly and shuffles in our bag, taking out a packet of paper, beginning to write without another word. I leaned over, a bit taken back by the official document he was writing on, a survey report back to the Hokage.

Naruto didn't seem to pick up on any of the atmospheres; instead he nearly yanked me out of Lia's vice grip and into his lap with a crushing hug. The smell of his musk was so overwhelming and yet comforting at the same time. I clung to his shirt helplessly; until the sound of Lia's loud throat-clearing stirred me out of it again.

"Soooo, Naruto, what ya got us planned to do tomorrow?" She smiled at him mischievously. I looked up, and Naruto was smiling right back at her.

"We're going out picking fruit, of course!"

* * *

When I wake up early in the middle of night, it's not even because I have nightmares, or because of normal reasons like using the bathroom or getting water. I wake up in the middle of the night now because of my fixation on always being awake. It's become very hard for me to fall asleep after my violent awakening, so when it does happen, I get a glass of something and sit down to think.

I don't always make it back to my room. I don't say much, but I know she's there. Lia.

She likes to wait until we all fall asleep, and then she takes over the bathroom, spending hour after late hour in that mirror, picking at her face, mutilating it with her stubby fingers.

I could see how some people would find it disgusting, but all I could see was the dire urge of her trying to wipe off a memory that kept getting bigger. I could picture myself, staring in the mirror as I chopped my hair off piece-by-piece, and how I looked then, maybe like her. It's just acne, I know. The way I know that people would assume that it was just my hair, but it was more. It was so much more than that.

She's staring at her reflection with puffy eyes and sore cheeks, reddening with squeezing, and I stifle a sob because there isn't much I can do for her. I know what to do, I just don't know how to _explain_ to her what to do, and I feel like a failure that couldn't save even a tiny soul.

When I return back to my room, I search for the letter buried deep in my luggage and clutch it tightly between my fingers, praying on whoever was listening that hour, to bring Sakura home swiftly.

So that I could learn what to do.

* * *

I wake up early, and sneak my way past Lia's temporary room and into Neji's, just so I could see how he's doing. I haven't really had any time to talk to him alone anymore, about what he's doing or what he's thinking about. Sometimes I think it annoys him the way it annoys Sasuke and Naruto that Lia clings very tightly to me, but I do try very hard to make everyone happy.

I pick out something light, a mid-length peasant skirt, a blank white shirt, and I tie my hair back into a low ponytail.

As soon as I open the door, I see him, sitting on the edge of the creaky bed, playing with his thumbs. He doesn't even look up when I enter the room; his eyes are so distanced and faraway from everything.

"Hey," I say shyly, smoothing out the comforter before taking a seat beside him on the bed. A bit too close I guess, because he flinched before looking at me.

"Hey, I didn't hear you come in." He sighed and placed a hand on my knee, squeezing it. "How have you been?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" I say teasingly, and we lock eyes for a moment. I'm very happy, but at the same time I feel guilty. The time I used to spend following Neji around, throwing all my problems on him, that part of me is gone. But now I feel more distant from him than ever.

Neji smiled lightly, and gives me another squeeze. "The work we're doing here is good…"

I nod, smiling.

"Really good. In fact, it's so good that the entire economy is doing better than ever. Others are starting to look into it…like Suna."

And then I pause, and furrow my brow, confused. This was Neji speaking in circles again, and of course I couldn't grasp it. I didn't even get a chance to think about it, because before I even knew it, the door flew open and Sasuke and Lia rushed in, arguing with each other about where I am.

And I thought seeing Naruto and Sasuke fight was pretty bad.

I look at Neji, but he averts his gaze right as Lia hops into my lap with a grin and Sasuke's hand is squeezing my shoulder. The place where Neji's gentle hand rested on me no

w feels extremely cold.

"Naruto's outside, we're ready."

I nod, grasp Lia's hand, and we move on.

* * *

To others, it may just be simple harvesting. Picking a few tomatoes and oranges, but it's harder than it looks. Sasuke split us all up into groups—Naruto and Lia, Sasuke and I, and Neji asked to ask to work by himself.

I look over the field, using my hand to cover my eyes so I can see Naruto and Lia chase each other around the field, darting in-between orange trees laughing. I giggle too, and nudge Sasuke to look over. He gives a wry smile.

"They're going to bruise all those oranges," he says, plucking a juicy plump tomato right from the plant, examining it closely.

I pluck one too, and put it in my basket without so much as a glance. "So, how has it been just you and Naruto living out here together?"

"Peaceful." He says automatically, and when I give him a teasing look, he splutters and averts his gaze. "I mean, without anyone other than me to talk to, he's become pretty mellow…"

"You could never tell. He must be socially deprived." I chuckle, glanced back over, watching Naruto chuck two oranges straight at Lia's head. They both miss.

Sasuke glares at me. "Then I suppose Lia's been giving you a handful of things to talk about?" I shrug, pluck another tomato, and toss it into the basket.

"It's really nice having her around, always someone to talk to about personal stuff, and to protect and make sure she's okay…"

Sasuke puts his hand on his hip, his lips firmly pressed together. "Then why don't you bring her here more often? Naruto wouldn't mind the help."

I think for a moment, and shrug again. He stares at me incredulously for a moment, and then turns his entire back to me, mumbling something that melts my heart.

"I wouldn't mind the help either."

I smile, and in response, I chuck a tomato at his head, starting our own fruit war.

* * *

We get together a good helping of each fruit, both oranges and tomatoes, but unfortunately I forget that tomatoes are easily bruised, and half of the ones in my basket become very lumpy and unattractive.

Naruto just shrugs and ruffles my hair lovingly. "That's alright, it's the taste that counts, really."

"And that fact that the Uchiha's name is on it won't hurt the sales either…" Lia grumbles, but loud enough for Sasuke to hear. I can't help but laugh at his flushed face. And I try to distract myself from the obvious—that Neji hasn't come back yet.

I know that he's not in any danger, I did a quick check with my Byakugan and I could see him, a little while away from the house, that's he just sitting out there, doing nothing.

Lia told me that it'd be best if I didn't bother him, and even Sasuke agreed with her. For that, I stayed where I was and helped examine and package up the ones that looks edible and un-bruised. It wasn't until we had a huge leftover of ugly oranges and tomatoes that Naruto suggested it would be cool to make a really weird fruit salad. Oranges, tomatoes, and sweet onions with vinaigrettes dressings. I was the only one a bit wary about eating it.

I've never seen Sasuke get so into cooking before. Lia too. Usually she just lazes around the house until dinner is ready.

I tried to jump in it too, but Naruto had just suddenly yanked on my arm and dragged me out of the kitchen without either of them noticing.

"You should go see what's on Neji's mind," he said in a hushed whisper, slowly pulling me to the front door.

I stuttered. "B-But I thought that maybe he just needed some _time_..."

"Maybe he needs his cousin to ask him what's up, hmm?"

I couldn't argue with him there. I sighed. He ruffled my hair again with those large tan hands of his. I blushed and nodded, giving Naruto a quick hug before I slipped out through the door and sprinted across the open field, letting the wind kick up the skirt I was wearing.

And as expected, Neji was sitting in the same spot as we had left him, hours ago. Only he was just sitting on the grass, leaning back, enjoying the breeze as his hair whipped back and forth. I pulled out my band, and let mine whip around too as I took a seat next to him.

He didn't even flinch.

We just sat there, watching the sun go down. It's must've been at least an hour but it only felt like minutes…and then…

"I'm moving to Suna."

I wasn't even aware I was crying until Neji had moved forward and embraced me, wiping my tears away with his thumb. I had nothing to say. I couldn't be sad, because I knew that this is what he wanted, what everyone wants, to be with who they love. Suna would be able to benefit from having Neji direct the program over there and yet I feel like the only one who lost in this situation.

And I could do nothing but smile and be happy. So I sniffled and said with a teary smile,

"Then will you deliver a letter for me? It's important to me that she gets it."

* * *

_Dear Sakura,_

_If you're reading this now, then I hope you've been watching over my cousin for me, since I can't do it myself anymore. Is he married yet? I hope Gaara pops that question soon. And how has the program been running so far over there? Every time I buy a new bottle of Suna Aloe Vera lotion, I think of you and Neji. I can't wait for your time to be up and for you to come home, so you, Lia, and I can lie around and do girly things. I talk about you all the time, and Lia is really excited to get to know you. We'd be good friends._

_Plus Neji. I miss him so much._

_Ino is doing well too; she misses you so intensely, it's making the violets a special shade of blue that's been selling like crazy. Pretty weird. Shikamaru and Choji are keeping her well enough company though, and maybe we can all go out for a barbecue sometime._

_Sasuke and Naruto miss you too. I'm doing my best, but I know that they really miss having their 'Team Seven' together and planting good fruit. They bicker over me for my attention so much it's very adorable. You have some great friends._

_Naruto too, he wanted me to tell you that he says, 'I love you Sakura! Buy an Uzumaki orange.' Isn't he the silliest? But you should, they are very good. _

_Anyway, we all can't wait to hear from you soon. Sakura, I love and miss you. Enjoy the journal; it's one hell of an emotional ride. Makes a good life story, they all do. _

_P.S. Have you ever had an orange, onion, and tomato salad before? Sasuke makes the best salad I've ever tasted.  
_

_Hinata_

_

* * *

_

Thanks for reading along! Finals reviews are much appreciated.

Speical thanks to my beta – **strawberries and napkins **for helping along with the story since chapter four, she's been the biggest help and inspiration that a girl can ask for. And thanks to all the faithful reviewers, who stayed from start to finish. During the summer I'll be starting some more stories, so if you would like to, add me to your author alert and stay tuned!


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